Why won't he kiss me?

I am 24 years old and have been in this odd relationship with a guy who is 26 since October 2009. He moved in with me in October and we have been having sex but he has never kissed me and will not commit to a relationship with me.Everyone we know thinks we are together but he tells everyone we are not. He acts completely different around other people than he does when it is just me and him. AND he tells me he loves me! If he loves me a) why has he never kissed me and b) why will he not commit to a relationship?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Friends With Benefits is never a good idea because one person always ends up wanting more. I am speaking from experience. You really aren't comfortable having sex outside of a relationship, but you continue in the hopes that maybe he'll come around. The fact that he tells you that he loves you, but changes his behavior around other people and insists that you aren't his girlfriend is only torturing you emotionally. This relationship is only going to damage you to the point that you are going to have serious trust issues in other relationships that you have down the line. He probably won't kiss you because he may believe that it's something you do only in a committed relationship. There are a lot of people out there that feel this way.

    As to why he is acting like this? He was probably screwed over by someone he cared about in the past and while he probably vowed that he would never let anything like that happen to him again somehow he made it okay to go out and screw over somebody else (you).

    This guy has no right to be telling you that he loves you because what you two have is not love. Somebody who loves you would never whisper sweet nothings into your ear one moment and then deny that you're together the next. Someone who loves you will want to kiss you every chance they get. Someone who loves you will commit to you. Someone who loves you will not treat your relationship like it's a dirty little secret.

    So, get out now before this relationship hurts you any further. Pining away for a relationship that is never going to happen is going to do you no good and is only keeping you from moving on to a relationship with someone who will care for you. Don't waste any more time with this guy.


What Guys Said 1

  • Well you are living in a defacto relationship, he won't admit it, this is weird might be something behind it, past relationship. It takes time to create mental attraction, trust, communication, intimacy.

    Its a bit like someone siting in a car driving in circles and then sticking his head out the window and stating that he isn't driving in circles. Fact he is in a relatinship defacto, he is denying it. He is not prepared to confirm you relationship status, only he knows why their maybe something behind it or he is just using you and has no respect for you as a person. If he doesn't change his behaviour, communicate his feeling, why he feels this way, chances he doesn't want a relationship with you. Ask him why he hasn't kissed you, why he denies that you are not in a relationship when you are, its disrespectful to you, its like he is ashamed of you.


What Girls Said 4

  • He doesn't love you. He is using you. I'm sorry to tell you this. You need to stop sleeping with him immediately or you only going to continue to subject yourself to more hurt. Maybe he is embarrassed, maybe he is waiting for something better to come along, maybe he has some awful confidence issue, but whatever it is, if he isn't willing to talk to you about it and treats you differently in front of other people, then It is evident he is using you to fullfill his daily urges instead of his hand. If you are roommates, stick to that.

  • ask him why he won't commit. honestly though if he won't commit it means just that...he doesn't want to or isn't ready to commit and you should walk away. trust me, been there done that

  • sounds to me like he thinks your good enough to f*** but not for the relationship type... guys will tell you anything to keep you around