Guys: Are shy girls a turn off?

I am confident, but shy AND introverted. However, I do know how to be social and enjoy it (kind of fake being an extrovert). I take a long time to open up and get to know. I am as passionate and wild and silly as the next girl, but I won't show it for months. In the past, guys show a lot of interest in me easily at first, but as weeks and months go by, they seem to lose that passion and persistence they had with me in the beginning. Ultimately, they just stop talking to me all together. I fear they all think I am boring and not worth the awkward stages. I am too shy and therefore too much effort I think. There has never been a "click" moment where I've felt it was right with a guy. Never had a boyfriend/24 years old.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope. The girl I currently like is shy. And I hold hands with her too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he's turned off, then he doesn't have much depth to him. Shy girls are usually much louder than they seem. Their loud is just different.

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What Guys Said 54

  • Is it a turn of no not in its self. If you lie about being social and an extrovert then that is a turn off. You sound like a lot of my female freinds right now. They are looking but no one is biting. We have agreed that it is because most of the good guys are either to hurt from women kicking them after they try Most good guy's who see a girl that they find attractive won't approach her and flirt or ask for her for a date because they learned not to. So many of my guy friends myself included has to know a women for a bit to even consider wanting to ask her out. Mostly because of our standards which are not to high but we still have them. a lot of people also do this to avoid the awkward stage where they don't know you and you don't know them at all. Try joining a small mixed group where you have to get to know everyone. Like a hobby group, small sports group, or a small church group.
    I tried online dating and I just kept getting lied to way to often so I just went back to the old fashion way. Which is harder but more rewarding. You just have to be more social and willing to get out there and look.

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  • Have you ever confessed your feelings to a guy? "I really like you and I hope we continue seeing each other!" or "I've fallen in love with you!"

    Sometimes, she with expressing feelings gets perceived as being the ice queen. Is that a possibility with you?

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  • Back when I was younger it wasn't but now a days yes it is. Since i dont have time to be trying to read a gir) like a book anymore. I've already paid my dues in that regards and I can happily say out going girls make things so much easier on the R ship /friendship since I won't have to be the q entertaining her all day long lol

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  • Shy girls are awesome. Well thats if they arnt self absorbed, constantly picking at themselves and not paying attention to the guy or significant other.

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  • No, they're not a turn off. But it depends on how you act around him too and how long it gets you to get comfortable. It can get quite exhausting if it feels one sided to the guy. If he's the only one trying to keep the conversation going and you just answer with yes or no like a first grader and don't say anything else, he's obviously not going to enjoy himself very much. If you're at least making an effort and we can see that you are, even if you're failing, then it's no problem if you're shy. Normally, we'll understand as long as we see some effort. Otherwise, the guy might think you're just not interested enough and move on.

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  • No they are cool girls as long as they talk on the date

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  • Have you tried to be this honest or straight forward with a guy before? I'm an introvert too, yet I'm very understanding when a woman gets this honest and vulnerable with me. This is something I could treasure.

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  • I'm not sure, it's kinda case by case I suppose. But I only date confident girls, and generally outgoing girls too since we can connect, have fun and go out together, etc

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  • Not at all. I've dated shy women. Truth be told, I preferred them over some of the more extroverted women that I dated.
    Just keep in mind, shy girls tend to come off as uninterested in you, and uninteresting as a person. You can be shy, but show that you're interested in the guy. Also, try to keep a conversation going with him.

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  • It's not a turn off, it's just that you tend to give off the exact same signals a more confident girl would if she wants to get rid of a guy...

    The guy can take the initiative but you have to give him something to work with, otherwise only stalkers/creeps will keep chasing you.

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  • The thing if you are what you are.. Don't change yourself.. Don't fake anything

    By the way I can give your a tip... Like if you have a group of friends then go out with them and enjoy... Don't give a fuck what others agree thinking about you...
    You will notice that you are getting cool everyday.. And you will become a bit extroverted slowly

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  • It is not a problem at all , the guy who wants to stay with u he must discover u , if he can't do it then he didn't deserve it , however I guess u should give people around u a space to get closer to u don't make yr shyness feeling pushing then away , but u totally fine , I like the girls who feel like u , sorry for my bad English skills 😊

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  • Lol no. In no shape, way or form are they a turn off. I like shy girls the most because they're just so cute. However, when you don't open up to us we assume that you aren't interested in us. You need to try and take some chances every once in a while and I guarantee that you'll see guys have more interest in you.

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  • My issue with shy girls is its hard to tell if they're shy or just not interested. As long as they're somewhat talkative then I guess I have no problem.

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  • Not to me, you just have to find the right guy in my opinion. The girl I'm with right now was super shy in the beginning, and still won't do some stuff with me after about a year, but I still love her and I love every moment with her in developing our relationship everyday

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  • you can't really blame the guy if you have him chasing you for weeks or months on end. you have to admit thats kind of ridiculous.

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    • trust me i beat myself up about it

  • not a turn off but did you ever ask yourself, how a guy is supposed to know that a shy girl likes him?

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  • Not at all, I personally find shy girls very attractive. I have my own preferences when it comes to physical attractiveness, but what I've noticed about shy women is that they are very compassionate and polite, two of the personality traits that I find attractive in women. I am a very shy guy when it comes to talking to women. I think those guys just think your not interested in them, did you find any of those guys attractive? Don't worry I think you'll find a guy that likes you for who you are.

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  • simple reality is... evidently yourcurreny habits/styles are not working. so change and try something new.

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  • I personally am not fond of shy girls. Mostly because I'm shy myself and it makes it more difficult for me to talk to another shy person.

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  • Oh I like shy women. In order to pursue the relationship she does have to show interest though.

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  • Not at all, but they are hard for me to meet as I'm not very aggressive when it comes to approaching women.

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  • Am 24 and only dated 2 girls in my life your time will come. So don't worry about it and please don't change who you are.

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  • No but I'm also shy (but only with dating) so unless you do online dating I'd probably never have the courage to meet you, as I'm much more comfortable online

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  • Not a turn off , but men will mostly interpret your shyness as lack of interest & keep their distance from you.

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  • I'm the same way , I don't think girls like you are boring since I understand. It takes time to open up and during that time I get to know you better and you get to know me better.

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  • Not at all they may require a bit more work to get through to but I don't mind putting that in.

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  • Well if you're that shy, prolly guys just give up on you cuz they think you're not interested.. But regarding your question, I don't think it's a turn off, and actually I think that will lead you to the most confident guys.. cuz they don't give up easily!

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  • It depends on how shy she is. If it's to the point that you can't get even a simple "yes" or "no" answer, then that's a bit too much.

    On the other hand, I've always been more attracted to the quieter ones, given they don't fall to the aforementioned extreme.

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  • If a good amount of time goes by and she still doesn't open up, then yeah that's kinda weird. But if she opens up after a fair amount of time, then no, it's not a turn off.

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What Girls Said 8

  • So let me get this straight, this guy chases you for months and you don't give anything about yourself. You don't show a lot of interest and you are surprised guys don't show interest either? I would've done the same thing if I was that guy and a girl gave me the cold shoulder/hard to get treatment for months. Months are long you know. Not many people are that determined. Maybe a few serious stalkers.
    You have to take off your mask if you want a guy to get close to you. You should put yourself in their situation and see what you can change. You're an introvert, that's okay and you can't really change where you feel pleasant with, but you can change that ice queen attitude.
    I don't want to sound mean or anything, but it sounds like you've got more a problem in trusting people rather than shyness. I also don't know how serious the situation is, but know that you can do something about your behaviour.

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  • I've seen this question before and the same responses, most guys are not turned off by it. Lucky for me because I guess I could say I am a confident introvert too. I am not so shy I don't speak at all, I just do have a hard time initiating conversations and maybe being flirtatious and affectionate at first but it isn't debilitating and the older I get the less shy I become.

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  • You sound like you may be a lovely person, but honestly, the initial stages of a relationship are really important to establish whether the chemistry is there or not and the shyness complicates things because it may mask a connection. The connection needs to be felt by the other sides for him to wanna keep pursuing/fight for because most people dont wanna work hard for the potential of nothing there being a very real possibility as far as we can tell. That being said, there are plenty of guys who appreciate shy girls as feminine and maturely cautious, so it could be luck of what men you've encountered so far. Can you describe what it's like around guys for you? Like how does your shyness manifest?

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  • yes they are!

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  • A questions I've been curious about!

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  • i wouldn't think its a turn off i think it would be cute i find shy boys cute

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  • I don't think shy girls are a turn on.

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  • Depends on a guy, some of them like shy girls.

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