What kind of dating strategy should I use?

I'm 20 years old. I've never had a girlfriend, dated anyone, or even had my first kiss. I don't have any classes and I don't have much to do away from home, so I'm in my room nearly 24/7. I've been told I'm good looking, I've got a good brain, and I'm easy to get along with. I don't drink or do anything beyond that. I'm also pretty shy, and I don't like trying to start conversation with attractive strangers (because I don't know anything about their personality, goals or relationship status beforehand, so in most cases it'd likely be a waste of time). My greatest goal is to find my life partner, which means I'm not the type to ignore my partner in favour of work or anything else. I'd just want to hang out with them all day (relatively often), or something like that.

Considering all this, I've been on OkCupid for a few months, but I've only spoken to a few people so far, and my "hidden" list has an absurd amount of people in it - after I've cleared it out and started over, 3 times. The advice I've had from my friends so far has basically amounted to "it's a numbers game, so send as many messages as possible", but I don't like that approach at all, because many of the people on the site don't seem like my type. So far, I've received more initial messages than I've sent, but none of the conversations lead anywhere significant (the latest one seemed to be going really well, but then as soon as I suggested meeting, her profile disappeared).

So basically, I'm an introvert with no dating experience, and I seem to be stuck in an endless cycle of waiting. Are there any additional things I could try without fundamentally violating my identity? Any advice from people who may have been in a similar position? Or perhaps, anything else that I should think about?


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • strategy? first off... stop listening to your friends, they have the right idea... if you are desperate (which you seem to be) you gotta lose that attitude. they said its a "numbers game", that is just that young mentality, the original path is called "the law of averages" and that is how stalkers/creeps are created.
    Just up your game man, the key to attracting girls is NOT to go for them, work on Yourself, build yourself up, believe me, they will notice. work on that confidence. when you walk into class (or work) or whatever, walk in like you own the place. and don't pay anyone any attention, the girls will come to YOU. Chasing is a young boy's game... you don't chase these days.

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