Please read: I don't know what to do next? Help meeee?

Background -
We had an amazing summer. He told me he loved me & then left for uni
Facetime & calls became rare texts. Weekends were still great, we would hang out & have fun
I spent Easter with his fam & stayed at his all the time

Problem -
He got back for hols & was great, cuddly, relationship-like.
We caught the bus to work together, kissed goodbye. He walked across the city to eat dinner with me in a park.
His grandfather died, he was very sad. I tried to be there for him but he shut me out.
He wouldn't stay at mine, he said his family were there for the funeral so I shouldn't stay at his.
I went to the races with him. I got too cuddly in public & regretted it but we seemed fine.
He messaged me saying he wasn't treating me right & he would make it up to me.
He got cold, would barely touch me or talk to me, joking became small talk. This was only over a few days.
He had a talk with me saying he didn't want to be cuddly, that he didn't like affection like that. He didn't like the "ownership" i displayed at the races & that he was not happy within himself right now.
He has been having identity issues & been depressed recently.
He said he wasn't happy that he WANTED to stay home & watch movies with me rather than being out with his friends. I've never stopped him being friends but I know that he turned them down to be with me the other week. He says it's not him at all & it makes him sad.
At a party he kissed me goodbye before he went home & told me (drunk) that he would have loved to stay with me (but i was staying at a friends).
Next day I saw him before he went back to uni & left. We slept together, I kissed him goodbye & haven't heard from him since.

What do I do? -
I love him & he loves me but I don't think he is personally ready for what I want yet.
If he does contact me how do I tell him that I love him & want to be with him but I won't put up with being treated this way & although i want him to be a part of my life i don't think he is ready?


What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he contacts you, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you love him, but you can't play the hot and cold games with his mood. Either he is there and loving or he is out and figuring out his own things. He needs to figure it out, you did nothing wrong