Is it possible to change your "type"?

looking at the past guys that i've dated, they all share the same traits that made our relationship not work out. it feels doomed that i'll ever find a guy i'm attracted to who *doesn't* have those deal breaker traits. so is it possible to change your "type"? nd can u give me examples if it's happened to u


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sort of.

    Can you describe your type, specifically the traits that caused problems?

    I don't know if you're aware, but there have been studies where they ask women to rate men's attractiveness in pictures, and simply standing near an expensive care raises the man's average score. This isn't women saying 'well he looks ugly but i'd date him to get money'. They actually thought he was more attractive. Why? Did women evolve to find mercedes sexually arousing? Clearly not. So what's going on? Well I'd suggest that women DID evolve to find signs of power and success attractive. That instinctive trait, combined with their -conscious- brain thinking mercedes = success/status, combine to shift their attraction.

    Why do i bring this up? There are likely some core things deep down you find attractive in men, and those core things won't shift much. On the other hand, you you -see- those traits is impacted by your thinking. So if a woman, for example, keeps dating drug dealers, she probably sees them as powerful rebels who are tough and brave. And they're shitbags and she has crappy relationships. Can she stop finding tough, powerful, brave guys hot? Probably not. Can she convince herself that drug dealers are in fact short sighted hot tempered immature idiots, and NOT truly powerful? Perhaps, yes, and that would kill her attraction to them.

    So what traits are causing you issues?

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    • car not care, ugh.

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    • the deal breaker was they were all prtty stupid, insanely bad choices made that i couldn't just ignore. you're right about the last paragraph, it's pretty eye opening

    • i like how you think, you're smart and right, sounds like a man who knows women pretty well ;) i like :3

Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah, i think so. i used to like muscular short guys and now i love tall guys that don't have to be that muscular. it's because i lost a lot of weight so i don't need guys to be huge so that they're bigger than me. i think your type while change as you get older and wiser because your taste will develop.

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What Guys Said 18

  • i do both consciously and unconsciously. you can decide that you want to date a different type of person. but you can also just change who your type is as you grow older and you as a person change (tastes, expectations, etc)

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  • I think you can change your type, it takes effort but you could quickly find your attracted to more then the initial characteristics of your "type" you can also choose to look beyond those initial characteristics to what you really want in the end.

    It's kind of like fast food, you want that hamburger but if you look beyond the initial attraction it's not going to benefit you. That salad may not have the same attraction but in the long run it will benefit you the way you want.

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  • I'm curiois to know what traits these are xD.

    I think you can change your type but you need their other positives to outweigh the negatives. I mean I won't lie - if a legit 10/10 girl was slightly dumb, her looks help me overlook that fact, even though I prefer intelligent women.

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    • "you need their other positives to outweigh the negatives"
      i don't quite get that, like i'd be able to ignore negative traits if he had more positive ones? that'd work as long as it wasn't extreme but imagine if that girl was 10/10 but dumber than cardboard.

    • Yeah, that's why I put slightly in there 😂, I couldn't handle a completely ditzy girl, whatever she looked liked.

      To break my "type" there has to be some other trait that pulls so far out of normal range to smash through. Hence why 10/10 would just barely do it for 'slightly' dumb.

  • I suppose it is possible, you'll really have to want to change it though

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  • for me the fist girl friend was the first to say yes to going out with me. the second one was what i thought i wanted (looks) when that didn't work out i changed what i was looking for. thats when i started looking at personality more than looks. thats when i found the person i finally married.

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  • You CAN change your type, but you have to act in the same way and do the same things toward your new type as you did towards your old type.

    In other words, if you watched videos of thug rappers and that was your old type, then you have to spend just as much time watching Boy Bands (LOL) if that's your new type. If you jilled to pictures of punk rockers, now you have to Jill to whatever your new type is, etc.

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  • It is actually quite natural once you understand what you are looking for. If you keep repeating thé same mistakes, it means you don't understand what mistakes you are making...

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  • Ya I think my type evolves a bit based on experiences in dating

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  • Yes. For example before I only dated girls who were fashionable. But then I met this girl, she was so simple that even the ugliest clothes she wear and still she looks beautiful then that changed my type. Before I only went for looks but then found this girl who was funny and now I start to find funny girls.

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  • I don't think it's possible to "change" your type. But I do believe your type will gradually change as time goes by.

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  • you can but some dont, they like the narrow minded ideology

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  • what kind of guys you usually go for?

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    • im gonna quote myself on another comment if u dont mind :P
      "if i like relaxed guys, then i manage to find a *super* relaxed guy who happens to smoke weed all the time. same with confident, i find a *suuper* confident guy who's kinda arrogant. im just immediately drawn to the extremes because they exude that aura the best whereas the moderate guys r being ignored by me."

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    • That sounds horrible ha ha ha!

    • @ClearlyCanadian well yeah it is i admit but iam here to give advice not ot look nice lol i even told this to a girl in RL once i dont care, she asked me and i answered.

  • If u are still young , it will be waaay easier than changing ur type while u are old

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  • What is it about your type that is not working out?

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  • In order to answer that question you would have to first know where your original type came from.

    The usual answers are:
    Dad-- (either a copy, or the opposite)

    The Media-- a girl you identified with or admired on TV/books dated a certain type of guy, now you want to as well

    Friends-- for some reason friends suggested your "ype of guy would be "hot"

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  • Maybe some people can change their type, but not me, I'm always attracted to the same types of girls, and they are never attracted to me :(

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  • Yeah back in the day I used to like skinny girls now I only prefer them bigger. I don't know how it why one it clicked and been attracted ever since to bigger

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  • It surely is possible to change the type!!!
    Do Yaoau feel very hairy man is creepy?

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What Girls Said 7

  • It is possible but it doesn't always mean things will work out. I've changed and tried to go for nice guys but they still don't want me or want to commit to me. So it's easier dating bad boys, at least i know what I'm in for. Just keep yourself open to different kinds of guys and see where it takes you.

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  • Yeah, pay attention more to personnality, communicate and when you're attrcated to this guy try and see if he has those trait that u don't like, it's pretty easy now i guess because u know what u don't like so... yeah just find a way to know the persons personality better and how u say it seems like the problem is from the guy but... maybe the problme is from u too, i dunno i'm just saying haha ♥

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    • lol brutal honesty, thanks <3 :D

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    • true, like say if i like relaxed guys, then i manage to find a *super* relaxed guy who happens to smoke weed all the time. same with confident, i find a *suuper* confident guy who's kinda arrogant. im just immediately drawn to the extremes because they exude that aura the best whereas the moderate guys r being ignored by me.

    • yeah i get it you like bad boys mami~~~well you should maybe try to find a good "bad boi" lol like people are not always as they seem to be, do i look innocent and shy to u? nope i am pretty freacky and sex freack, this is because u cannot see me, i actually look like an innocent good girl hahah crazy huh? ahhah i hope u get what i mean

  • We stop being too idealistic

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  • I don't think it is possible. You can't control attraction. What you can control if whether or not to act on that attraction and do something about it or decide this guy is or isn't the one for you.

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  • It's possible to get better men to date but it's not possible to force yourself to like someone you are not attracted to

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  • You can't change people... the end.
    Either accept them as they are or move on.

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  • Yes of course, by you growing and getting more mature and changing as a person, your "type" will change too. Others things we find atractive at 20, other at 25, other at 30 etc

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