I feel like I'm cheating?

This girl and I have been "dating" for the past year or 2, I've asked her to be my girlfriend plenty of but she says the same thing all the time and I've been getting tired of this. We haven't really been through much, because this whole relationship has been built through text messages and phone calls (I've only seen her once in my entire life). I still have feelings for her, but the reality of this whole relationship just appears to be very surreal. I met this girl at church not too long ago, and I feel like I'm beginning to like her. Her and I have an equal passion for music and health, she's pursuing a career in Dentistry, and I'm pursuing a career in Sports Medicine. She's in my city, her and I can hang out without waiting for next school break to hang out. It still hurts me, because even though the other girl isn't physically with me or my girlfriend I feel like I'm cheating by being with the girl in my city.


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What Girls Said 2

  • In all honesty I'd explain to her that the relationship isn't going anywhere, and end it. You can't hold onto someone who has been with you for 2 years , but yet is still indecisive about you. That's ridiculous. That would make me question her infidelity. I don't believe you'll be exclusive to her.

    Texting and calling each other isn't a relationship it's only really a friendship. Unless one of you makes a sacrifice to move near the other one then it'll never be anything other than a friendship.

    You should pursue the girl in real life. It's not progressing with the other girl , because she is stalling all if the time. It would be wrong to be deceitful by pursuing both girls, so I'd end it with the online girl.

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    • I guess you're right, but the reason why I fell for this online girl was because I just felt like she actually felt something emotional and mental between us when her and I had sex. I'm guessing she wasn't legit with the words she said. Thanks

    • Maybe she does , but I wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone who is still indecisive about being committed to me after 2 years. Ask yourself how long you are willing to wait for her to make up her mind. It's too risky giving someone your heart when they haven't really given you theirs

  • You have to be honest with the first girl because it sounds like you have way more in common with the dentist girl from your area and the bonus being that I assume you can see her more than the girl you have only seen once. You're not cheating if you only talk to this girl but if you feel you are getting serious about the dentist lady you really do have to tell the other girl and say that it's not that you don't like her because you do but you've only met once and being more local to this other person has given you more to bond over and you can spend more time with her and right now that's what you think you need in your life, but you would like it if you can remain friends with her, but that you also understand if she doesn't feel like she can be friends with you, but you hope in time that she will come around to the idea and maybe get back in touch when/if ready (or something similar to all of that) but do it before you get to a stage where what you are doing with this dentist woman does become cheating - anything from kissing to dating to sexting or sleeping with this new girl you like before you tell the first girl what's happening.

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    • I honestly do feel like that's the most rational thing I can do, but the thing is that the long distance girl got into am argument with me about meeting up and spending time together. I was supposed to be staying with one of my friends in San Diego (she lives 2 hours away from San Diego) and I just thought it would be cool to have some time where her and I can just be together and go out and stuff. She just declined and told me that she didn't like the idea. It was nothing inappropriate though, just the event going on at Magic Mountain (since her church and my church are branched together). Also, I suggested just hanging out and watch movies. At that point I asked her what she would like and just behaved irrational. I was trying, but I guess in her eyes she didn't like those ideas.

      With this dentist girl, she really seems to know where she's heading. I don't know whether to choose the dentist girl or the math teacher.

    • It sounds like you do know, the dentist girl seems the obvious choice, if the math teacher isn't into hanging out with you and behaves that way at the suggestion but the dentist doesn't and actually seems interested in doing things you both like to do even if those things are not always the same thing (any relationship is about give & take - you love the stuff you both love together but you also accept that not everything you love the other person will and vice versa but if you have a form of relationship with that person friendship or dating you make compromises and keep an open mind that you may find something new you enjoy by doing so) if that's what the dentist is doing but the math teacher is arguing over meeting up it seems a no brainer, but you still have to be honest that you found someone more into compromising and that's important to you and don't string the math teacher along

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