Am I wrong for not wanting to be friends with a girl after she has "friendzoned" me?

Soooooooooooo, I known this little Latin bombshell for about 7 years now and I have made plenty of attempts to exit the dreaded "friendzoned" but she maintains her feelings for me are as that of a best friend -_-. Well after the umpteenth time of trying to make a move and getting rejected, I decided that I did not want to be in her life as a friend anymore. Honestly I took it really personally and felt as though I was worth a shot at a relationship. So when she said I jus don't see u like that I just cut her off completely I don't talk to her we don't hang out or go out to movies or smoke; nothing. I jus feel like I'm a catch and she doesn't deserve to get my personality, my care or my opinion on her problems frankly. She texts me every now and again to express how much she misses our friendship but I just want to be left alone if we can't date. I don't have a lot of friends and she knows that but I'm not lonely in a sense of i need friendship. Am I wrong for not wanting to be friends if we can't date? I'm sorry if I sound like a cocky Ass hole I'm just being honest.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're free to not be her friend if you don't want to, but I think you're being selfish for not even trying to see it from her side. As in, why she's not attracted to you. You might think you're a catch but clearly, for some reason, she doesn't. Judging her for not wanting to be with you is really petty, you can't control other people's feelings and clearly she doesn't view you as relationship material. It doesn't matter if you think you're a catch, she doesn't see you that way and therefore didn't want to give it a shot. And that's fine, just as fine as it is for you to not want to be her friend.

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    • If I read this first, I wouldn't have posted. Very well said, lumos.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not wrong. What I would have said, "I wasted many years trying to get to the next level with you. It was a waste of time, frankly I can't be ;just friends", fuck you bitch, have a nice life". Walk off and never, ever have anything to do with her. Treat her like a bad boy would and she may come groveling to you. If this happens, and it might, use her, punp and dump her and find someone worthy.
    Clearly, in my opinion she isn't.

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What Girls Said 5

  • No. As hard as it is, I think that might have been the best thing for you to do in that situation. She can't be expected to go out with you or feel more for you if she doesn't, and you can't be expected to hang out with her all the time when you have feelings for her and it's difficult to keep sticking around as just a friend. It's a big strain on the friendship that won't be fixed until you move on or she has a change of heart.

    This time apart could help you move on, and maybe find someone else who's into you too. Perhaps one day when you're completely over it you guys can revisit the friendship, but for now I think you made the right decision.

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  • Woowww...
    Yes, because you're superficial who clearly doesn't understand the meaning of friends. And whose only reason for befriending the girl is to get in her pants. That's not a true friend. Prick move.
    No, because she now has one less annoying pest to worry about
    You're clearly not her type. When a girl says no it does NOT mean keep trying. It means: "NO, You're ugly/unnattractive and I'm not interested."
    If you're looking for a friendship then say that. If you're looking for relationship say that. If you're looking to get laid say that. But don't be a coward and LIE to the person.

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    • I never once concocted a plan to be her friend to get in her pants. we were always friends until we starting hanging out. one on one situations u can't really control who u grow feelings for Lady. U have a point perhaps I'm not as gorgeous as I think I am and she was not attracted to me but at one point how is it fair when I get to hear all her problems and all of her heartache but I will never fully get to see her smiling or happy cuz I'm not who she wants in a companion but she can't tell the guys she wants how she really feels and only gives them her care and affection?

  • So she doesn't deserve ur friendship unless she rewards it with sex.

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    • I don't understand why guys think friendship should be returned with anything other than freindship. Talking about each other's problems is what friends do.

    • And I don't understand why the assumption is that if a person ends a friendship because he/she got rejected, then the only possible explanation can be that he/she must have felt the were owed sex.

      Is it possible that he is hurting in her very presence? Or is that just out of the question?

  • Well seen you have been friends for 7 years it seems a bit harsh.

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    • Ugh I can see how u can say that. I miss her too but I really like her so how is fair to argue with her about it every few months. It just makes me feel desperate if I continue to be her good friend.

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    • The lady has a point but I don't know man I jus dont want to keep being her friend when I have feelings for her. We argue from time to time about this but the last time she was kinda mean about it which I can I understand but she still hits me put and wants to do this or that.

    • You need space, a little time a part to get your head together.

  • In response to this, kind of related but also unrelated, is there a particular reason guys stop trying to talk to you after they get to 2nd or 3rd base?

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    • Sadly, the guy might not have been as into you as you might think, or he found someone he perceives as more appealing.

What Guys Said 18

  • Basically you're doing what you should of did in the very beginning. Not accepting a situation that you are not happy with. If it was a situation where you were friends first, then developed feelings a few years later then I'd say how you went about it was a bit harsh. But your actions were still right. You value yourself and put yourself out there, saying exactly what you want. She said no and that's her right, just like it was your right to dropping the friendship after that point.

    This situation can suck, but she should be the understanding one in this case. She cares more about her feelings and what she wants than she does about you and how you feel. She's being selfish in that way.

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  • I don't believe it's a good idea to remain friends with someone you like but who doesn't like you that way. I believe that you probably should have ended the friendship a long time ago.

    That being said, perhaps you are a catch to some other woman, but you are not a catch to her. She simply doesn't see you this way and there is no fault or blame on her. Not returning your affection isn't a character defect. She's done no wrong, and you should hope that she finds love even if it's not with you. Try to remember that.

    In future, be up front about your intentions and feelings with women you like. You'll waste less time in the long run. I hope you find someone to love who will love you in return.

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  • Hummm, well, I'd say just off the top of my head, to stay friends with her. Good friends are hard to find actually. I can certainly understand taking it a bit personal, as I would have also at your age. I'd say keep on being friends with her but also be looking elsewhere for a romantic relationship. Just my two cents! LOL...

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    • Still be friends with her? Why? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard a man your age say. You are wrong ! Goddamn, at your age you should know better. Clearly you don't. By remaining friends with her is being a spineless little weakling.

  • No. Being friends with someone you're really attracted to is hard because you're constantly reminded every time you see them how much you like them but can't have them, especially when they find someone else. I never stayed friends with girls who "friend-zoned" me, I don't feel obligated to.

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  • The Friend Zone is a place of desolation, from which no man returns.
    Women in your age range park men there when the men are not 'exciting' (aka not a sociopathic bad boy) enough to cause them to tingle in their panties, but might have some utility value to the female in the future.
    Move on. If you accept Friend Zone status you will be used and then discarded, after you are of no further utility to her.

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    • It's not because he's a bad boy it's because he's probably ugly.

    • *not a bad boy

    • @dominiquois I don't think I'm ugly compared to the other guys she's been with they probably go to the gym more than I do. But none of them mfs ever finished college. So are girls more superficial than guys? cuz reading what women have said on this post my guess is yes.

  • You've invested seven years and her feelings have never changed about you. It's well beyond time to cut bait and separate yourself from her.

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  • since you can't think of her as just a friend, then sticking around her will keep you away from dating or having a normal life, so what you have to do is that you should get far from her and start dating and living your life and let the time solve it, either she will feel your absence and start thinking of her life without you and see you in a different way or at least you'll not be chasing a fake hope !

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  • i feel your pain. Been there. The best way to recoup is to just live a good and fulfilling life. You'll attract more women into your life. Girls are one of the most replaceable things in a guys life. You can literally find a new girl on any sidewalk. So just spend a night out or two with the boys, or with yourself.. and get out all that you need to get out... and then think ahead to the next conquest

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  • No one can fault you for doing what is best for you. They can fault you for feigning friendship however.

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  • No, you have to think about your own sanity, you don't owe her a lifelong commitment, I'm sure she would understand if she had had a crush on someone for years. Besides, you weren't really friends if you've always wanted more.

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  • Umm your are not wrong...
    Your have a right to break the friend ship... As you don't Feel for her like a friend anymore..

    Cute her out of your life completly...

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  • Yeah I don't do the whole friend zone thing... Once rejected she doesn't exist to me any more. You did the right thing my friend, let her miss you, let her pine after you, let her feel what it's like.

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  • No that is what any guy with honour will do. You are not approaching her to be her friend, and you already must be having lot of friends. So you don't need another

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  • You don't owe her a friendship. If she doesn't want to date, drop her and move on.

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  • No, you're a sane person.

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  • Nah, some girl did that to me at school, wants me to be her "brother" now. I got family zoned.

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  • You can be friends with who you want to!

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  • You're completely in the right here, and I don't blame you at all.

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