Men who don't want to get married: Do they have commitment issues?

Updates:
Most of these answers from men seem to validate my point; men have commitment issues. News flash: not all women want to marry just to divorce you and take your money. Marriage is a deeper sign of commitment, if you believe in marriage as something sacred. If you don't want to marry someone you supposedly love because you "don't trust women", then I feel sorry for that poor girl.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • People in general can be fickle, some people want to be promiscuous their whole lives because they engoy a sense of "freedom" for lack of a better word. Several men have been hurt and just won't trust again, similar to women who don't date and are man haters. Speaking for myself, I want to be with someone that shares the same interests I do, can communicate and understand when I'm not perfect. I have dated women before that have a projection of what they want you to see, then when reality hits and once they get the "I love you" from a man, they feel empowered amd start making demands, now if the two of you can't talk it out, it's going to get bad, but if you can meet I the middle then you have a potential lifelong bond.
    However, the way people watch TV and have unrealistic expectations of what life should be like are the people that find themselves in crisis when reality doesn't mesh with the script of [insert sitcom, drama TV show etc.], they feel there is no future because their idealized version of a relationship doesn't fit. Now find a man that can communicate, talk about anything openly, and find someone that is dedicated to a dream and if it aligns closely with yours then you share and in my opinion that's what happy marriages are made of, so yes some men are scared, others just selfish, but there are so many that are good, just feel like they can't find a nice woman who will share in their interests.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't want marry anyone because I don't trust they can make me happy!

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What Guys Said 17

  • It's not a commitment issue at the heart of the issue, but it's more the case of the quality of women nowadays. I know of more divorced couples than those who remain married. Many of those divorced couples were doomed from the start. Women today just don't trust men. Women today don't value men. Women today want to control and change men. I can easily number the number of married couples where the man had to give up his sports cars, club memberships, hobbies, and sometimes their total freedom within weeks after being married. And in each of those cases, the woman gave up nothing. So don't start telling me about commitments... and I can easily state myself as an expert... I've been married to the same woman for over 38 years! If you women want things to change, you have to change first.

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  • Protect their assets because when she finally gets bored, you're losing everything. Car, kids, house, dogs, child support and alimony

    You call it commitment issues, we call it being smart
    50% divorce rate. 80% by women, most of them resulting in the man being fucked

    There's shit for men in marriage with a lot of risk, and your shaming language only fuels that fire

    If all you get is "commitment issues," when all our responses are nearly the same, which is rigged divorce and family courts resulting in a financial guillotine, then you're denying the answers you seek

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  • I'm assuming you're referring to guys our age? It's not just commitment issues and can be one or a combo of a few things. I know plenty of guys that have been dating their SO for almost a decade and have kids together. I mean, that's some level of commitment right.

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  • better question is, why get married? I mean, what's the reason to get married, specifically?

    love? you can love someone, make love to them, and have kids with them without marriage. your word is just as much of a bond as a legal contract that can be broken at any time.

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    • Economics of being married is beneficial.

    • @akadatank44 how is the economics of being married better than the economics of living together without being married?

    • Taxes, when file married filing jointly is much better because you claim your dependents. Also if you have a hugger income you have a bigger standard deduction as filing married. Some states will require child support to be paid to the mother even though your living together.

  • I have no issues with commitment, but my problem is with trust. I would never cheat, but I wouldn't trust my partner not to do the same. Especially with a marriage situation... I see so much cheating and divorce going on that it turns me away from just plain relationships. Besides, if I did end up with a divorce... I'm sure the woman would try and take everything from me that she could and blah blah blah. If I ever marry, I would have to be with the person a long time (at least 5 years) so I can at least have some hope that there wouldn't be some other guy in bed when I get home or I end up losing everything.

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  • If you get married you have to answer to someone else, and I left that at my parents house. Then if you have kids then it is a whole new ballgame, and your time and money are really gone.

    Plus, unless you marry someone with similar (or greater) income, you may wind up on the hook for supporting someone you may not like much anymore.

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  • Back when abortion was illegal and the contraceptive pill didn't exist, did women have intimacy issues for refusing to have pre-marital (or at least pre-engagement) sex?

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  • Not necessarily. Some want to just fool around all their life. Which is fine but most probably are afraid of commitment or the fear that whomever they meet will tie them down

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  • Anon already said it pretty well, but I'll put it another way.
    Man gets married, woman spends his money.
    Man gets married, woman leaves him, takes all his money
    Or
    Man gets married, man leaves, woman takes all his money.

    See a pattern yet?

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    • You have a pretty cynical view of women. Not all women are out to get a man's money.

    • True, but divorces are ugly for men. I've seen enough guys get cleaned out by vengeful ex-wives to know better.

  • One of my friends said that he didn't believe in marriage because he doesn't think that "because you love someone, doesn't mean that you should marry them". He doesn't think that you should commit yourself to one person your whole life

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  • I don't want to get married, and yes, I totally have "commitment issues." I don't see it as a problem, though. It's just the way I am, and that's okay. I also don't like mushrooms, so I don't eat them. Other people do like mushrooms, and that's totally fine. It's not a question of "good" or "bad," or "right" or "wrong." Everybody is different, likes different things and has different aspirations.

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  • It's because the legal system is fucked for men when it comes to marriage.

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    • You also seems to have a very cynical view of women and marriage. You are assuming that marriage will end in divorce, like it is the woman's plan to take the man's money.

    • Half of marriages end up in divorce. And too many of them end up with the man paying half of his hard-earned materials.

  • Maybe or they just haven't found the one yet

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  • its usually because of fear, guys get the short end and used harshly and or the guys in question are players and dont want to settle down

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  • From your own responses it seems like you didn't really care how men responded for you were gonna say what you were gonna say. You have already dictated in your head what a proper response in your eyes should be. You if anything are the reason you are not married yet if this is the reason you posted this. Stop leaving it up to the man, if you're that desperate to get married maybe you should be the one asking and not him

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  • As others have said, what's in it for the guy? Commitment is one thing advantage is another. Why would you commit for the sake of commitment? That's crazy, like signing whatever is put in front of you. It's common sense to keep your options open if you can.

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    • So you don't believe in committing to one woman?

    • I don't believe in one-sided deals. If I'm giving up something as important to me as my freedom I want something even more valuable to me in return. Otherwise I'm just a patsy.

  • Considering how most marriages end in divorce now, and 70-80% of those divorces are initiated by women, and those women rape their husbands in divorce court, can you blame men for not wanting to get married?

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What Girls Said 3

  • not necessarily they could just not believe in marriage. A lot of people don't

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  • Not necessarily. There are many other reasons

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  • Maybe they are. Or maybe they haven't found the right person.

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