Should I continue calling and making plans with this girl even though she doesn't initiate the calls or text?

I met this girl over a week ago and I am very interested in her. Lots in common and we have a great time talking or hanging out together. She has been to my house a few times to watch movies and she also even invited me to meet her family at a cook-out. She says she is interested and she says she likes the way I look and she also says she wants to take things slow which is cool. Just seems like I am doing all the calling or texting. Kinda makes me feel like she is leading me on. We have plans for this weekend which is great, but why does sh not attempt to call me or text me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • if you're finding that you're always initiating communication, I suggest that you STOP! I know that you really like this girl but it's high time that she learned that if she wants to see you again, then she's going to have to work for it as well. I know women like it when a guy calls first. it's flattering to know that you're desirable and being thought of. she 'says' that she likes you but her actions don't really add up to what she's saying. so if I were you, don't try to contact her, at least for a week. I know it seems a long time but it's a waiting game and you need to be patient. you don't want her to start thinking that she has you at her beck and call. show yourself a little self respect and her as well by showing that you should also be waited on. so let her start wondering why you're not calling. sooner or later she'll cave in. if not, then just move on. you are not a waste basket and you shouldn't exude that by the constant calls and texts. otherwise she'll start thinking you're needy and unstable.

    you've done more than your part. so now, just sit and relax. keep yourself busy and have the fish take your bait.

    i hope I didn't sound offensive. I know how it feels like to be waiting on the phone and doing all the work myself. so from experience I'm just offering my advice so that you don't end up feeling taken advantaged of. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

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    • First off, I agree that she needs to call him if he has shown that he is interested in having a relationship with her. However, if they are still in the beginning of getting to know each other I think that she may want to see more from him. If they are in the beginning of a possible relationship and she calls too much, he might start to feel that she is clingy or wants too much to soon. But when a guy does this it is a display of genuine interest. It's a double standard but that's how it is.

    • I get where you're coming from, but to me it just seems like something you'd do if you were in high school. Maybe it's just me but to be honest, I think that if she was really interested in him, she should just show it instead of playing hard to get. It's child's play and unfair to the other party. I mean if he were to do the same to her, I'm sure she'd also be annoyed with him. At any rate, I just think that people should be honest with their feelings no matter what.

What Girls Said 3

  • Girls HATEEEE it when she has to text you. I even no from myself if a guy dosnt text me looks like he's not gonna talk to me that day. girls think its too much when texting guys we see it as if a guy really wants to talk to you he will call you and he will text you I wouldn't get to pushy and keep texting her every 2 seaconds but don't worry its how most girls are.

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    • Thanks. I do notice once I do text her it goes back and forth for a while. I work day and she works evenings so it looks like we may only get to see each other 2 times a week for now. She has told me she has had her heart broken a few times and keeps getting her hopes up when she meets a nice guy just for something to happen and the hopes are gone. Seems like she keeps running into the player type. I am not like that and would not do her wrong.

  • UGH I wish I was in ur situation. lol. I do the calling and texting, go out with her this weekend, call and text her to make sure she had a good time, and then don't text her for like a week, if she decides to contact you then she is into and if she doesn't well that might not b the best news.thats what I do wit the guy in into since I'm usually the ine callin or texting but if 4 days go by and I don't contact him, he usually contacts me.hope this helps

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  • If this girl is not meeting you half way you should confront her. If you know she is shy then there is your answer but if she seems like the shallow type confront her about your feelings be gentle but firm and if she continues her ways cut it off. be gentle when you do it tell her you'll still care for her. don't waste your time going down a one way street alone.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're her backup plan. She's most likely already seeing someone else (who she's having sex with) and you're one of the providers she's got lined up. What you provide may be different from one of the other guys she's got on the hook just like you. For example, when you guys hang out she gets an ego boost because you hit her validation buttons. Don't expect much more anytime soon while she's seeing other guys.

    If you want to test this, cut off communication for a week. Just don't contact her at all. See if she starts getting in touch with you. If she does, take your time getting back to her. This will start framing you as the catch. Right now it's the other way around and she doesn't need to try to keep your attention. Be the prize for a change and watch how she reacts.

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  • How often do you call her? If every day, wait a few days and see if she calls . if you make it too easy, she'll get bored. Don't wait too long though; if she asks why you haven't called, you've been busy . that's all :)

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