Friends with his ex on social media, Am I being to demanding for wanting him to delete her?

I haven't brought this up yet but my boyfriend is still friends with his ex on Facebook. I have noticed he unfollowed her on Instagram when we started to date. But I don't like her being on his social media.

I am probably different but I don't stay friends with any of my ex's because I think it will cause any problems with new partners. Even if we break up on good terms I explain that I don't think staying friends on social media is a good idea.

So would it bother you that they keep in contact with their ex's?

  • Yes, I wouldn't like it
    58% (40)45% (17)53% (57)Vote
  • No, wouldn't bother me
    30% (21)45% (17)36% (38)Vote
  • Other answer
    12% (8)10% (4)11% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
17|11

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd talk about it and want to understand their relationship. Some exes being friends on social media is a non issue. Others can be problematic and cause undo stress. For the most part, I've never been bothered by it. And I'm also friends with ex gfs on social media. What I'm more concerned with is their actual relationship. Do they talk and hangout? How long and deep was the relationship? Who broke up with who and why? Are they in the same group of friends and constantly around? Those questions matter more in terms of discerning whether or not it's good or bad that they still have any contact.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he claims thats his past then he needs to cut all ties with her which meaning to remove from anything that will have him in contact with her. Many say they wouldn't be bothered but lets me real. Someone leaving you for someone else because one click of a button can go a long way. Not saying that'll stop him from making whatever moves he wanted but overtime you'll forget about that person. But from experience, someone keeping their ex- on social media i don't care what anyone says they still care. I was involved with a guy and when we were off and on he would remove me off all of his social media then added me back. He knew we were going to get back so he played that act just for the hell of it. Now when it was completely over he made sure he kept a tab on all my social media accounts. I post a picture on instagram he doesn't like it but ik he'll see it on his timeline. Automatically since he refrains from watching my snapchat video i see that all of a sudden he viewed the video the same minute i posted a picture on instagram. Long story short, ask him questions before you approach him about still following his ex-. At the end of the day don't allow his past to ruin you guys future because of "social media". Talk it out and come to a conclusion allow him to make the decision without you forcing him to or breathing on his neck.. We'll see who's the real man.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 10

  • The only reason most people remain friends with an ex is to keep open the possibility of an eventual reunion.

    0|1
    0|0
  • my girl friend does this and has ahd 2 children from 2 diffrent guys, so trsut is not even in the relationship, the word adventure would be better used than trust for me. and the fact she has 2 different account and im not even sure she is not seeing someone lol.

    its really hectic and im on the verge if just letting her go if things dont change
    but yeah i would be ready to go if he does not do more for you. but this is coming from my own experience.

    0|0
    0|0
  • People are different. They have different limits. And those limits usually change depending on how serious their relationships are (dating vs long term vs marriage, etc). The fact that this bothers you tells me that you two have different limits. Talk about it with him. If he removes them from his friends list without argument, great! This tells you that he cares about your feelings more than he cares about his exes. If he argues and defends his position, this means he cares more about keeping ties with an ex than your comfort in the relationship. Then, you have a decision to make. You can either drop it and hope for the best or you can move on and find someone else who shares your limits and standards. The third option - trying to get him to change - will probably not work out too well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing will happen on Facebook. Then why do you want him to delete her

    0|0
    0|0
  • If my girl had an ex added somewhere, I'd definitely bring it up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly I think that some men and women are waaaaaaaaay too confident treating social media like a real life parameter values.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That boy has issues. he's not over her

    0|0
    0|0
  • Asking him not to talk to her is ok, asking him to remove her from his friends list is a bit on the controlling side.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wouldn't bother me. This would be on my partner, it's their choice if they want to stay friends.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe he wants to keep an eye on her, just in case... I know people who stay friends with people they don't like so they can keep tabs on what they're saying about them (if they're trash-talking them or something). Honestly, though, I don't really see why you're making a big deal out of "her being on his social media".

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 16

  • some people like to remain friends after a break up because of all the things they shared. If it was a long relationship, it's a big chunk of someone's life. People do get over exes and sometimes it's nice to catch up as friends. I'm friends with my ex on facebook and we speak once or twice a year maybe. It's nice to check up on someone you used to share your world with , especially if you parted on good terms. It doesn't mean he isn't fully there with you though. You could ask him about it, but don't insist on him deleting her, he knew her before he knew you, he might think you're being controlling. As long as he doesn't talk about her or meet her, you have nothing to worry about.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he's moved on from her, she's no threat, whether she's his social media friend or not.

    If he's still in love with her, removing her from social media won't make him stop liking her.

    Therefore defriending won't make much difference.

    *However* I think you not trusting him will piss him off and might cause fractures in your relationship, especially if he's done nothing wrong.

    Therefore, I'd say leave it be.

    2|0
    0|0
  • If I had an ex my partner doesn't want me to have, I would delete the ex. However I would expect him to do the same.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My husband asked me to delete my exes on social media when our relationship started to get serious. I did delete them, but it was hard because I had been very good friends with one of them before we dated and eventually after we dated as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I get why it irks you. But like, he has the right to choose who he is friends with and stuff. Ex or not, I don't think it's fair to force him to do such a thing. Have a little more faith in yourself, he is dating you and not her after all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is treating dating you with the analogy of driving a car. It's always prudent to have a spare tire

    0|0
    0|0
  • When someone is your X they are your ex. Let's talk about before social media existed. Would you be happy if your boyfriend called is X on the telephone? Same same. Tell him your not a fan of his continued contact with her

    0|0
    0|0
  • It WOULD bother me, but I wouldn't ask him to delete her. I am one of those people who are VERY clingy, once you enter my life, it is VERY hard for me to let you go. Therefore I would be able to relate to why he might not want to delete his ex.

    0|0
    0|0
  • did you tell him how you feel about it?

    0|0
    0|0
  • i voted yes but meant to vote no. If i guy doesn't want to be with you then you shouldn't settle for let. Let a guy do what he wants, if what he wants isn't you then find someone who does want you. his loss

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he he cares about you he'll unfriend her

    0|0
    0|0
  • if he doesn't delete her himself I would have doing it for him

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it's something that makes you uncomfortable let it be known and if he doesn't respect that then he needs to go, but you also have to trust that he isn't talking to her or seeing her outside of social medial.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends on his intention behind it. He unfollowed her on instagram so that's a good sign. Facebook requires you to look up the person's name to delete them. Maybe it's a good sign that he feels that she is not important enough to look up

    0|0
    0|0
  • The fact that he unfollowed her on Instagram is a good sign. Don't worry about Facebook - he may unfriend her in time, but it's likely that he either forgot about having her as a friend or doesn't use Facebook often enough to be reminded that they're friends there.

    Try not to get too hung up on this stuff. It'll drive you crazy! He's with you and that's what matters.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're being a little unreasonable, especially if he hasn't showed any interest into talking to her or paying her attention. Being friends in facebook doesn't mean anything at all.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...