Guys, why don't you initiate conversations on dating apps?

For instance, why do some guys match on Tinder and not start conversations? But if I message them first, they will respond. I'm thinking of a few possibilities here: 1) they just use it for an ego boost 2) they're shy (seriously?)

What are your opinions? (:

Updates:
Do you think there's a real possibility that they're actually shy? Or even shy guys will overcome their shyness to initiate conversations if they really like the girl?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • guys have become so neutered, that a lot of them ARE actually shy online. Yes i know, blows my mind too... But i've seen it on GaG several times... guys confessing they are too shy to initiate a conversation with a girl online for goodness sake -_- This is why the times we live in are the absolute best for average guys like myself to get women. With just an ounce of confidence, you put yourself ahead of like 90% of guys these days, and girls end up noticing that. Anyways, it could also be for an ego boost but i wouldn't bank on that. That's more of a girl thing to do online

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    • Not so much neutered just that guys are tired of having to message over 100 girls just to get 10 girls to go out with him and 5 of those girls will flake. Even when men talk to women in the real world many of them act like straight up cunts.

      https://youtu.be/DmP1ier3R30

Most Helpful Girl

  • In general, I just assume guys who never initiate contact feel indifferent towards me and I'm never in their mind. So I'd just not bother contacting them again.

    I've never used dating sites but I'd assume if a guy is genuinely attracted to you then he'd initiate contact. Why bother joining one, if he's too shy to initiate contact.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Do you mean someone looks at your profile, but doesn't message you... why aren't they? I can think of a few reasons:

    * I'm too busy at the time.
    * You are outside of my parameters... like distance, so it delays me contacting you. Sometimes I reach out anyway, but often I just "like" them and move on til later.
    * I saw something that holds me back... anything that makes me stumble... like she says I like tall guys and I'm short, well makes me question if I'm a match, so I delay contacting. In this case the girl reached out to me and I responded and we hit it off really well.
    * I have a few chats/dates going so can't handle more
    * I'm not sure what to say, so I'm "sleeping" on a draft of what I'd say. I find that you can't just say "something", you have to come up with something worth her reading and said well.
    * I'm not interested.

    If I'm online, I'm not going to be shy about reaching out. But I cannot speak for everyone. I've looked at a womans onlien profile from her side and she gets 50 msgs a day. Guys get hardly any that I've talked to... maybe 1-2 looks a week and rarely a message.

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    • @Victorianne above... since I was blocked...

      You're entitled to your assumption, want to be pursued... I didn't intend to hit a raw nerve. All I'm saying is online is very distracting and there can be many reasons to why they don't message... they are at a stoplight and like, but don't have time to message, then never get back to it... or see something they question and someone else pops up that draws their attention. A profile may not accurately represent you, so they may not respond due to a false impression.
      example:
      I had a great online date from "liking" her on OKC... but I had doubts based upon seeing her profile so didn't message. She messaged me though, we conversed and met. If she hadn't done that, I may never have met her. She was better than advertised... part of profile was accurate, other parts were false assumptions on my part.

  • I am on tinder and POF. I will tell you the reason. I am just tired of being expected to be the aggressor. I would LOVE to find a woman that comes after me the way I am expected to come after her. And even if it isn't to that same level, at least show that she is interested in me, and not just chatting with a bunch of guys and wasting my time.
    So I purposely will not send any message to see if they are serious about talking. From what I understand, many women see Tinder and other apps like it as a "joke". So if they are doing it as a joke, and I am seriously trying to find someone, I don't want to waste my time.
    The other thing that is so freaking frustrating is that if I do initiate the converstation, and she reply's, then I send like a paragraph telling her something about me and asking her a question or two, then she replies with 1 sentence. Usually doesn't answer the question and sometimes doesn't even say anything about her. I will simply unmatch her at that point.

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    • Hey sorry for the late reply. Haha I know what you mean... I'm guilty of doing that myself hahahaha

  • Here's the thing, guys know how much more women get msg'd than we do. Guys figure if you're really interested you'll message us over the 100 message you already do have. Also, free dating apps/sites are the worst. You find alot' of people are just there to look, they aren't serious about looking for someone.

    The ego boost is something women do online, doesn't work too well for guys.

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    • This is why bumble is so much better than tinder. The women have to message first.

    • THIS, THIS and so much THIS. Men outnumber women on these sites and already get too many messages as it is. So if you message the guy first, then by gum you really ARE interested.

    • Hey sorry for the late reply. Interesting opinion... I didn't know guys think that way. Thanks for sharing! (:

  • You do realize that guys can be shy as well. I don't know any guys who get an ego boost off of apps like Tinder. But speaking as a shy guy, I can easily see how a guy would be too shy to initiate a conversation.

    And as far as overcoming their shyness if they really like like the girl. It's kinda hard to develop that kind of connection based on reading a profile.

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  • I try. And I don't ask for sex/nudes.. I read the bios and try and find a common interest to talk about. I get ignored or blocked. That's why I stopped doing it, and in general, will probably just stop using dating apps altogether because these girls want a He-Man when they aren't a Wonder Woman.

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  • I usally message the girl something dumb like "I would tell you a joke about pizza but it would be to cheesy" or a corny joke. A lot of them immediatlely unmatch me :(

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  • They never respond, no point...

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  • Thjnk if it as advertising they hit the yes button simply to increase there chances of getting messages they may not even look at the pictures just hit yes continuously

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  • I use tinder, whatsapp, and other dating apps, its all about looks, not about who the person is, or what the person is about

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  • I always message a girl if she seems interesting. It's far less intimidating then if I ran into her at a bar, at the gym or on the slopes

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  • Shall we talk about the weather, or ask your favorite color? Or perhaps ask the most boring question in history?

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  • I use Tinder out of boredom and curiosity. So, I rarely start conversations with my matches.

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    • Hey sorry for the late reply. Just curious - will you respond if your match initiated a convo with you?

    • Not usually.

  • Cos she's below 8sh? Lol

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  • They're probably using you for an ego boost.

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  • Lots of those apps have a lot of fakes on it.

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  • Could be shyness, or just not really interested after matching.

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  • Everything you said can be applied to women on dating apps.

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  • I've never used tinder or any dating apps so I don't know. I am curious to see who would be on there haha xD buy right now I'm enjoying being single

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What Girls Said 0

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