Meeting a girl from a foreign culture?

I’m a guy of east-Indian origin. In fact, I am an Indian national. I am also single, and living in Sweden.

Now, where I come from, arranged marriage is the norm. But I dont think that will be the right way for me to go and I would like to meet someone on my own. But the fact of the matter is that where I grew up, we were never taught how to interact and court someone of the opposite sex; on the contrary, we were actively discouraged from doing so, and warned of dire consequences.

That being said, I’ve been working on growing out of this conditioning of mine and been trying to meet someone here in Scandinavia. I’ve had good feedback from women (unavailable ones) that I am charming, handsome and funny. Well, thanks for that, but in reality, I feel invisible to the women here. When compared to European guys, for some reason, I feel less entitled and that the women here prefer men with a local background more.

I hope I’m wrong about what I’ve written above. I’d appreciate any advice regarding how I can increase my chances of meeting someone here. I also think it would be great if it came from women, since I’ve only been talking to men mostly, and it clearly hasn’t worked so far…


Most Helpful Girl

  • I lived in Pakistan and Bahrain where arranged marriage was the norm too. My ex was Pakistani. Those men didn't care about their upbringing they will stare u down like they own ur soul until u say "mujse shaadi karogi?" Lol

    Umm u need to look at women see if she's alone or with someone. Make a chance to say hi. Trust that a lot of women want the guy to make the first move. Sometimes joining a dating site helps or using social media. However if you're trying to meet someone outside of the World Wide Web, you have to go by your instinct and approach a girl. If a few ignore u or give u negative feedback, that's not the rest of the fish in the sea. That's only a few in the ocean. The only way you will meet someone is if you try. That being said good luck


Most Helpful Guy

  • Look for Indian women staying in Sweden. You'll have much better chances with them. As for non-Indian women, try dating websites or some social events, it may work. But Indian women are your best bet.

    • Dating websites have never worked for me. And single Indian women are painfully rare here.. So it's a tricky situation.

    • I can understand your predicament. I am a single Indian male living in Australia, but I am not really in a position to date right now (due to several personal and professional issues I am dealing with). When I do get back into the dating scene, I'll probably face similar challenges as you. As of now, I am taking things easy.

      Whatever people tell you, the main problem is that women of other countries/nationalities just don't find Indian men too attractive. There are various reasons for this. And the selfish Indian media is adding fuel to the fire by 'projecting' Indian men as rapists and perverts.

      If you know a girl who is in your personal or professional network, and she knows you don't fit into the typical Indian male stereotype, then you have pretty good chances with her (irrespective of her race/ethnicity).

What Girls Said 1

  • When ANYBODY goes to any another culture/country there are less entitled to the native population. That's just the way it is.

    • Feeling entitled to THEIR women is going to piss them off and you'll get into a nasty fight. Men and women in every single culture do that. It's human nature.

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    • I agree. That is what is so frustrating about this process. I see Indian men with local women sometimes, and this is what keeps me going. Im not saying that I am opposed to meeting Indian women, it's just that I have changed too much since I've come here, and a traditional Indian girl would definitely wouldn't be the best option for me, nor I for her.

    • @saneramz

      I can relate! I haven't changed too much, but I too feel like a 'traditional' woman may not be suitable for me. In any case, I have a strong preference for vegetarian/vegan women, so I will probably stick to dating them, irrespective of their race or culture.

What Guys Said 2

  • You're gonna have a really tough time considering European girls don't find Indian guys to be attractive. Try to find Indian girls there. Especially in Stockholm. Indians are literally everywhere.

  • If you are really good looking as you said you will get girls, no matter what youtr ethnicity is. At least for hook ups. You can go to some clubs.

    • Ah. Hook-ups are something that make me feel weird. Not like I haven't tried though. This is also where my upbringing affects me mainly. I cannot get myself to have a one-off thing from nightclubs. My conscience gets the better of me.

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    • Thanks. I know what you mean. I have thinning hair, but I try not to bother about that. I go to an expensive hairdresser and I've recently started wearing trendy clothes. And for this I take advice from the gay men I know since they're good at this stuff. I've gotten a lot of compliments from women after I've started doing all this.

      I also go to a physiotherapist to correct my posture and get a more confident and outgoing look. People have noticed this and told me that I look much fitter and more charismatic.

      But then, even after all that, it's what in the head that matters. I need a way to take care of that silly thing.

    • OMG looks like you are too serious dude. I think you'll be fine, best of luck :)

      Like I always said if you are really good looking then ethnicity will never be a matter. Indian people has some good feature like dark hair, dark eyes and in some cases good tanned skin. I can let you know from experience, Im quite trendy and I've a facial aesthetics too. Like you said I sometimes feel like Im not so good like white skinned people (may be because I've fetish for full white people). But wherever I go I get lots of stare from girls and I never had to approach any girls. Even in clubs I saw hot girls hitting me keeping aside europeans. SO my advice may be you dont find yourself attractive but as long as objective finds you, you can stop looking at mirror ;)