If guy friend has a girlfriend, why does he still want to spend time one-on-one?

I have a huge crush on my guy friend. We've been in the same city now a little over a year, but have been friends for 8. He recently went on a trip abroad and met this girl (an American traveling on her parents' money for the year), and he suddenly brought her on a family vacation and later they both flew to Europe for a week. However, he never mentioned her to me, I only found out through social media as I noticed she became his friend and then I did some internet lurking and found all these pics she posted. He, however, hasn't posted anything and is still listed as single online.

I decided to just carry on as usual, and she isn't even here now (she's living in Asia). My guy friend and I always hang out one-on-one. Last week he asked me to go out for drinks, we went out for dinner, etc. Last night we went to a movie, and at the end he was making plans for us to do something this week (go to hot yoga together, which is always followed by ordering takeout at my apartment). we do have a small history (never dated, but did hook up a few times over the years). However, I made an effort over the past couple years to not flirt or do anything like that because I was afraid he would pull away.

I'm wondering where to go from here. Do I still just lay it out there and tell him how I feel? And why would he put so much effort into a friendship with a girl that's just platonic, when he is clearly making lots of time for me and we are always just one-on-one?


What Guys Said 1

  • I think there's a chance that he's keeping u as a backup in case things don't work out with other girls. In some cases, it's especially true if he's going hot and cold to you.
    It sucks being just friends with someone u have romantic interest in, so I'd suggest u tell him how u feel if u want to be exclusive with him. If he reciprocates interest, that's great, if he doesn't, then u should stop hanging out with him just as friends. It is time to stand up for yourself. You deserve a guy who truly wants to be with you, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

    Tell him that if he wants to go out with u again, it'll be on the terms of more than just friends. The best way to get someone's attention is by removing yours. Go about with your life and meet some new guys. He'll either try to get u back or let u slip away. The friendship may be ruined, but a platonic relationship isn't what u are looking for anyway.


What Girls Said 1

  • If his girlfriend isn't from your country then he's likely just lonely and also seeks friendship as one does. If he hasn't been flirting with you or ever tried to actually make a move then he's not interested in more than friendship.