PLEASE I need HELP? I caught this guy talking to a girl and I called him out on it, and now he doesn't want to see me again... Is this in-repairable?

we started talking like 3 weeks ago on social media. He's 27, from another country and moved here a year and a half ago. We spent this weekend together at his place for hours. No sex, just making out and talking until the sunrise. I was truly falling for him. He told me he was cheated on badly before and so he doesn't know if he is ready for a relationship and doesn't trust anyone. I went through something similar, which he knows.
And then I caught him talking to this girl on social media, (she was a fake account made by me) and flirting with her and saying he hadn't met anyone recently and that he is looking for people to spend time with, and that he is single.

soo, I messaged him and said I really was beginning to like you, but jokes on me. And he acted clueless, and I sent him the messages and said she was my friend. I sent him messages saying I don't want to be used, and if he doesn't like me and is looking to meet other girls he should just tell me. I was assertive, and I stated what I expected from him. That when I talk with one person it's only one person, that's that. Anyways, we talked it through and yes we aren't dating and he may or may not see others. But then he said we can continue talking but we should not meet again. I tried to talk him trough it and let it slide, but again he said he keeps thinking of how I attacked him and used the word "using me" and it isn't a good start to us and he thinks we shouldn't see each other again (for now).

Im heartbroken. Was I in the wrong because I expected to be treated as someone's only one even if we aren't dating? Why would you look for someone else if you're interested in another person? Did I ruin everything?

He he texted me after, carrying on a normal conversation... But I don't know if we aren't going to see each other.. What's the point?

Updates:
Nooo scratch that. I don't even CARE if he doesn't talk to me anymore. He told me all he wanted was someone to be with him, more than sexually and always there when he got back from work and whatever. And I was going o give him that, or attempt to give it a REAL shot. How can you give someone a real shot if you're seeing other people? You aren't. I'm not into that. I DESERVE someone who meets me and says I don't even want to meet anyone else bc right now im focused on you. THATS whats true.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You weren't in the wrong because you caught him in a lie, however it may seem like you were attacking him, he probably said this because he was embarassed, its true you two weren't dating and weren't talking abut being exclusive, but if thats how he wants it clearly he didn't fight for it or want to see you enough to let this one thing slide. You can tell him that there is no point tin chatting if he doesn't think you two should see each other, you're not living a virtual life with him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • you did right i think, and dont go to him again. he's a jerk.

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    • I think I'm mostly upset because I found out he's just a dumbass. Another dead end *sigh* really had my hopes up with this one

    • hmm it happens to most people, they had there hopes up then they get a dead end. i can understand your problem. just try to move on and find someone else.

  • Yeah you're crazy. Fake accounts? What he's doing is not putting all his eggs in one basket because commitment in 3 weeks from one guy seems unrealistic.

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    • I'm not saying commitment, but I'm saying if he's inviting me to spend the night, multiple nights... Why would I want to continue if he's asking that of multiple women

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    • We never had sex. We stayed up all night talking. How is that not special?

    • Well it sounded like 2 singles who had mutual attraction. You gave him no reason to commit and because you're acting crazy you're going to drive him away. I think it's unrealistic to expect a guy to focus only on you when you aren't in a committed relationship. And knowing him for 3 weeks and having such a high expectation on someone you barely know. This is 100% all on you and you are messing things up completely. He's acting normal. And I think a night talking isn't all that special.

  • You were in the wrong... making a fake account sounds crazy :/
    And i dont understand how you can be heartbroken after knowing him for just 3 weeks

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    • He thinks it was my friend. And she told me. But why would he go around and plan to meet others if we are spending hours in his bed

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    • I'm not but he told me also that he is the relationship type of guy and that's what he wants.

    • He said he wasn't ready but he cannot sleep around and is a relationship person. His words exactly. I thought we were beginning something real, and then to find he is searching for more from others is hurtful. How is that not

What Girls Said 9

  • When someone tells you that they are not ready for a relationship, that means that they want to see other people too. This should've been clear to you from the start, I'm not sure why are you surprised? He didn't lied about anything, he just could've been more clear about what exactly is he looking for. But guys don't dig deep into stuff like that, it's us girls who read between the lines. That's why we ask stuff. If you already made effort to make a fake account, that means you had your doubts from the start. Instead of making fake account, you should just ask a guy. Seriously.

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    • The fake account was from my previous heartbreak (which is the reason why I have trust issues) it is not a new account

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    • I'm not ready for a relationship from a guy means, "I want to fuck you and do you as often as I want. And when I'm through with you it will be because I've met somebody else to fuck because I'm not ready for a relationship."
      And your answer to him should be, "I'm not ready for a relationship either besides I like to fuck around on you

    • @Floppy I agree

  • The point is you are with a player. He has no interest in you anymore than he has interest in somebody else. What you did was kind of dumb but at least you learned something about this guy. I'd love to know what countries from because there are a few countries where all the players seem to be born. That's very prejudice of me but I'd still like to know lol. Don't fall for this guy you'll be part of his harem not his girlfriend and you're going to get hurt

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  • If you're not exclusive you have no right to get upset with him for talking to other women. That's the whole point of dating. You'd date til you find one you like enough to stop talking to others. It doesn't happen over night. You probably freaked him out so I would say no it's not repairable. Your best bet is to back off and let him come to you.

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    • Yeah you date one person and if it doesn't work out you end it. Why would I want to rub genitals with someone who is rubbing against someone else? Maybe it's because I'm middle eastern but this is not logical

    • Just because you date other people doesn't mean you have to sleep with all of them lol it's just keeping your options open so stuff like this doesn't happen. He was talking to other women, not sleeping with them. And maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with someone who you're not exclusive with if you're looking for a relationship out if it.

  • You were being crazy! You literally just attacked a guy that was clear you weren't dating for talking to another girl. He's still talking so you may meet again but I don't see him wanting to be with someone that is that crazy before your together.

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    • We weren't dating but we spent the whole weekend together

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    • I stated I made that account months ago

    • You have to be able to see you were in the wrong. No one can think this is logical

  • Not good. Never do that to a man - especially if you barely know him. 3 weeks is not enough time to know anyone well enough to expect them pull all their eggs in your basket.

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    • I wasn't entirely.. So did I blow it?

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    • The thing is, you just haven't know him long enough for any kind of commitment. He obviously isn't ready to settle down right now. He has told you that when he said, "I'm not ready for a relationship". When a man gives you information, take it very literally. Women don't communicate the same way as men do. I don't think you "blew it" per say, I believe you two haven't had enough time to get to know each other.

    • It's not about commitment... It's about being with someone and giving them your all and a REAL try at something. If I am seeing multiple guys, how is that trying to make something real with someone else? It isn't. That's just a jumbled mess I don't wish to ever partake in. I know myself when I am talking to multiple guys it's because I am not taking any seriously. SO if he isn't taking me seriously, I don't want him. I am a full person and deserve full respect and devotion. I would do that for another. I am a good catch. I am gorgeous, I am smart, I am funny, and I am quick minded. I won't put up with this flake.

  • what you did is pretty messed up

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  • You did what was right, good job girl! You're right, you deserve better!

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  • No offense but I think you are a little cray cray.

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    • I think I just expect to be treated as a special human, not some side piece possibility

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    • And I didn't think "having sex" made people a complete couple. If I said that then you people would still say "you just had sex"

    • let me put it to you this way. Creating a fake social media site is stupid, wrong, unnecessary and a bit bizarre. You really aren't looking for help here are you? But rather justification for your beliefs, actions and behaviors. You won't find it with me. Hopefully you do use these events as a learning tool though for the next guy you meet to take things a bit slower and take on their natural course. Everyone wants to be treated as a human being. Your approach is flawed.

  • Yes you were over before it started!

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    • Because of me or him?

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    • You sneaking around was just a shady

    • but say you met someone you really liked, why would you try to meet another person

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