My 26 year old son recently admitted to me that he feels sad that he hasn't participated in any sexual activities with women or had a girlfriend for the past eight years.
Obviously I'm going to be biased in saying that I think he's a good looking man but he's widely acknowledged as being intelligent, ambitious, a high academic achiever and someone who has a good sense of humour.
He told me that he's found out that women he's been attracted to have not been attracted to him because of his red hair. At first I thought that was crazy but then I learnt that males with red hair are apparently considered unattractive to the younger generation.
He likes his hair colour but has told me that he's thinking of dying his hair to get different results. He's asked me for my advice but I'm not sure what to tell him because I'm obviously not a part of the younger generation.
What is the true reality of the situation these days? Does anyone have any ideas?
I think that's a bad idea. One of the things guys are not allowed to do in society is to appear to have any insecurities. Even if he just dyed his hair for fun, people he knows, would assume it was done out of an insecurity and would think less of him.
I even know guys that are made fun of for not letting their hair turn grey, and dying it back to its previous color. The people that know him already would most likely give him a hard time about it. He would also have to do something about his other body hair not matching and ending up as proof that he dyed his hair, revealing his insecurity.
I have to wear special insoles in my shoes that make me look taller, because my doctor told me to in order to treat the bone spurs in my heels. People have tried making fun of me, simply because they mistake it as me wearing them do to an insecurity about my height. Guys really have to be careful about exposing any insecurity. Funny thing is this means most guys are insecure, about being seen as insecure. They often even make fun of other guys for being insecure to hide the truth about themselves.
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I have a thing for red heads, personally. I also know several who got more lady action than was good for them.
When guys are feeling down, lifting weights or other exercise is often a good suggestion. Not only does it help their appearance - but more importantly, boosts testosterone and feel good endorphins in the bloodstream.
Wonder how he found this out? You have to be carful with women... don't you... they dont always tell the truth as to why they made a decision:)
I don't know for sure, may depend on how red his hair is and if there are other detractors. What I've learned is that personality, confidence, connection rules. So if he doesn't know how to effectively interact with women, flirt, play, be a confident self, then they are making an excuse and the easy one is his hair.
There are many cases of odd and unattractive guys catching attractive women. In some cases, quirky and different is emotionally stimulating and women are drawn to that. My guess is he has been mis lead. But he can always try a temporary dye and see if he gets different results. nothing like an experiment.
Inquiring minds wnat to know the results. You could make a poll out of this and see how many girls in that age group would go for an awsome guy with red hair!
Great mom doing your research for him. Fact you are doing it says he is insecure:) True?
Be who he is and don't change for anybody. The right person for him will be somebody thar believes this is true and would not want him to try and be somebody different. Some girls will have red heads as their 'type' the same as some guys love red head girls.
Women say one thing but they mean another. They're not visual beings as men are.
That said, I have a feeling it's not his red hair that makes women uninterested in him, but rather his insecurity in combination with it. There are plenty of red haired men that would be considered highly attractive. But as for everyone it all comes down to their personality.
Some of the women probably believe it when they say it that his appearence is the cause. But I've seen it happen so many times now. As soon as a mans personality changes and becomes more masculine, or balanced and steady, women change their opinion about their appearence.
You need to tell him that appearance doesn't nearly matter as much as the vibe he puts out. He needs to learn how to garner self-confidence and needs to focus on being self-amusing, and caring for only his own amusement. When he knows how to have fun and put off a fun vibe, others will be attracted to him naturally.
I'd recommend him looking up Real Social Dynamics.
I think it's silly if people judge him for having red hair. But if he is wanting to dye his hair, then he should. But only if he wants to.
There are lots of guys with red hair that are attractive. Everyone has their preference. Unfortunately it sounds like he's met a lot of superficial people only concerned with minor details. I would be much more concerned with personality and common interests than hair colour.