Can I get him to call me his girlfriend if I stop having sex with him?

Bottom line: Been seeing this guy, sorta dating him for almost 9 months now and because of many abandonments and hurtful things that happened to him he isn't ready for a relationship and says for once in his life he doesn't want to be tied to someone. He says he loves hanging out with me, he buys me food a lot, the sex, my mind is most attractive to him but he refuses to call me his girlfriend because he doesn't think he can give me what I want and I've brought it up numerous times.

Do you think withholding sex will get him to step up his game?
If not, what should I do?

  • Yea, it will probably work!
    6% (1)7% (1)6% (2)Vote
  • Maybe, it could and it could not
    11% (2)20% (3)15% (5)Vote
  • No, it just won't (If not please say what might?)
    72% (13)27% (4)52% (17)Vote
  • It might have an effect on him but probably won't work
    11% (2)46% (7)27% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Want to know a reverse psychology secret? Don't make it a big deal anymore, if he won't call you his girlfriend, then tell him directly that you no longer want to be called that and it really doesn't matter anymore. He's using it as a means to be in control much like an abuser uses fear to control a person, not saying his abusive but he is controlling you knowing that it's something important you want to hear, so outwardly stop caring about it and he'll be curious as to why the change, then you can stop doing other things too, make it so you are not being taken for granted, by owning yourself more and he'll be the one with the insecurity as he loses control.

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    • My friend told me something similar-I don't want to make it seem a big deal anymore to him, thank you! Good advice actually, its sad that you can just be upfront and honest with what you want with people sometimes :(

    • Yes I agree so many people think they need to hide their intentions to get a mate. I prefer honesty and openness, I have nothing to hide in terms of dating and relations, if I'm not for them then I can move on confidently.

    • Thank you for MHO!! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Umm I'm going through this pain right now. I'm in love with a guy who's not ready for a relationship either. I waited around for over two years and it's still not happening. I've decided I can't be his friend right now because it hurts too much.

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    • I'm sorry :( its SO hard, especially when they have their mind set in such a way they won't give you a chance and you know you could make them so happy

What Guys Said 4

  • It kinda sounds like an excuse, but assuming it not then it also sounds like you're trying to manipulate him. If you can't get what you need from him legitimately then you need to break it off with him because you're moving on, and not because you think it'll make him do what you want.

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  • Nope won't work. He'll find another pussy to put his pecked in. Haha

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    • he already promised me he wouldn't see any other women but me but he just won't call me his girlfriend. he says he cares about me and was listing all of the things that he does to show that and says he's most attracted to my mind. he would still see me he says if we didn't have sex.

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    • its just not good enough, i want him to make me his girlfriend, i would feel more comfortable and know that he cares about me enough to do that for me

    • Tell him that. Talk to him. Give him an ultimatium if you want to

  • It will make him assume you are not interested anymore and he will move on.

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  • It sounds more like your just his fuck buddy then relationship materiel. If he says he does not want a relationship now then he is not ready for one. If you push him then he will just go the other way.

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    • he already promised me he wouldn't see any other women but me but he just won't call me his girlfriend. he says he cares about me and was listing all of the things that he does to show that and says he's most attracted to my mind. he would still see me he says if we didn't have sex.

    • well then I wish you two luck.

What Girls Said 9

  • He simply doesn't want a relationship and you need to respect that. Now for you, who does want one, that might mean moving on and finding someone else who wants the same thing you want. You're not going to find it here though.

    It's like standing in front of a wall and asking how to open the door. There's no door there. You can't make one magically appear when he's already told you one doesn't exist.

    My boyfriend is super awesome but if he had met me when I was emotionally able to be in a relationship and I told him that, he would have left since I was not able to provide the kind of relationship he was looking for. Sucks but sometimes you meet a good person at the wrong time.

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    • but what if i just wait until he's ready? he said he could be but no guarantee if i somehow make him fall in love with me and make him realize he needs me?

    • The issue though is that you are clearly hurting yourself trying to wait to see if he's ready. You wouldn't be posting here if you weren't. What you should do is love and respect yourself to know that this situation is not healthy for you emotionally and to stop. This isn't the right guy. If it was, he'd want to have a relationship with you. You can't just spend you life waiting and hoping someone will eventually think you are right for them. You should go out and find someone who knows you are right for them and actively wants you.

  • Definitely not, if you choose to go this route, it'll probably make him mad and therefor will go find it elsewhere where someone won't need to withhold sex. Sucks but true, men and a lot of people in general don't like to have certain circumstances or terms. If he doesn't want a relationship only himself can change his mind. If you want one, sorry to tell you you've been wasting your time. find someone who you won't have to change their minds and instead want to actually be with you.

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  • It won't change how he feels about you. Actually if it does it only be for the negative he doesn't respect you enough to call you his girlfriend and it's a problem for you just MoveOn

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    • He says it apparently has nothing to do with me and he may be ready at some point to have a relationship with me but he can't guarantee anything

    • Decoded he's not that into you. It's just sex and hang

  • He doesn't want a relationship and trying to get one out of him will only push him away. Accept the situation as it is or leave

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  • No, not at all.

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  • He doesn't want a relationship, so if you withhold sex, you won't see him anymore. y'all are friends with benefits nothing more.

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    • He said before a while back its fine if we don't have sex, he'd still want to spend time with me

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    • Cuz honestly I think I love him, why wouldn't I stay?

    • Then you need to be honest with him, because he is being honest with you.

  • Once he has his mind made up he will not change

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  • Give him an ultimatum

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  • why do you sleep with him if he's not your bf? Honestly, I think he doesn't want to be in a relationship and just fuck

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