hello I'm 20 and I just broke up a week ago with my first boyfriend :( it's been really hard as the breakup was unexpected, he said he cared for me but didn't love me, and it feels wrong.
i don't know where I went wrong. I was incredibly honest and loyal, got gifts, took him on holidays, massages, cooked for him all the time, played video games and music with him, supported and motivated him all the time, meet his sexual needs etc. He never once took me out to dinner during the whole relationship. When we went out to eat or buy groceries Id always make an excuse and say im not bringing my bag and give him 100 dollars so it doesn't embarrass him when I pay for everything cuz he's an alpha male type even though I'm a Uni student and working part time. I don't know what else I could've done :(
was I not good enough and will I find a better guy?
Most Helpful Guy
"i don't know where I went wrong."
I do. Your problem is quite easy to spot: you were far more invested in this relationship than he ever was. You were never his priority, and his actions (and inactions) communicated that loud and clear - you just weren't listening because you didn't want to hear what those actions were saying.
To put it another way, you choose your guy POORLY, and then you ignored all the signs of that poor decision because you'd rather be with a guy who wasn't invested in you (and abused your giving nature financially) than to "lose him." The truth is that he did you a favor by breaking up with you, because now you are free to find a guy who will be a MUCH better match for you.
What you REALLY need, though, is some self-esteem. You shouldn't let your relationships be so one-sided, and that should have been a big red flag for you. I'm sure you have plenty of guys who are interested in you, but the hard part, for ANYONE, is finding someone who is a GOOD MATCH. That's not easy, and it means you're going to have to pass on some great guys because they just aren't a good match for YOU. Don't let that worry you, just keep looking, and be SLOW to invest yourself emotionally in a new guy - rather, when you meet someone, ask LOTS of questions, and pay attention to the answers he gives you, and make SURE they're the answers you're looking for. If not, politely thank him and send him on his way and try the next guy. That's the process, and there are no shortcuts. You have to meet people, evaluate them, in MOST cases "cut them" or "filter them out", until you find a guy who not only likes you, but is also highly COMPATIBLE with you.
The better choices you make in that regard, the more likely you'll have a successful relationship.1
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds like he was the problem, not you. Forget him, sounds like he has done you a favour because he's taken his deadbeat self out of your life to make room for someone better! Find someone who invests as much into you as you do. into him - it will be far more fulfilling.0