Is it just my age?

I am 21. I only recently started dating and I don't go for every girl I see. I am naturally funny, I am intelligent, and there's a lot of depth to my personality---but maybe too much. You see, I've tried going out with girls younger than me and girls older than me and, I don't know, are girls my age just looking around to have some fun, nothing serious? I mean, I AM fun and I don't take things too seriously, but as soon as things start to maybe get a little more serious, the girls eject and I never hear from them again.

The youngest I've dated is an 18 year old; the oldest is 23. The 23 year old surprised me because she didn't seem so "naive", in that she knew what she was getting into, and yet as soon as we got closer and closer, she ejected. That one hurt the most because she was the farthest I've gone with other girls.

I know I shouldn't generalize ages and that every person is different. But sometimes I feel so alienated because even though I'm funny and a little cocky (a good mix for getting girls interested, I might add) it just feels like that because in my heart I'm a close-to-home nice guy, that girls don't want to get serious with me because they know that I'll be serious. If that makes sense.


0|0
3|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I am 19, almost 20, and I can definitely see that most of the girls out there just wanna have fun. Just like that song

    That's why I think its important to be friends first. You get to know the girl first, and you can make the call of what she will probably do, you know?

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Just be good friends with a girl that you like and take it from there. From my experience I am more likely to be in a long term relationship with a guy if we are good friends for a long time and get to know each other that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its just that you haven't found the right girl for you, cause trust me its just as complicated for you as it is for us girls. Take me for example I love to laugh have fun and other things but when it comes to relationships I want to be serious about it, but there aren't a lot of guys my age ready for that. Any guy or girl about the age of 18 and under 25 might and will do the things your talking about, just wait patently for the right person to come to you. I know how much it sucks being single, trust me I still looking myself lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Truthfully, Gurls just wanna have fun! So try having fun. Don't try so hard. Go through the good-friend zone, first. Then boyfriend and girlfriend.

    0|0
    0|0
    • See, there's the thing, though. I am "having fun". Do I go out drinking? No. That''s not my idea of fun. But I keep things light and playful. The thing with friend zone is that a can be a good friend for a little while, but I have to make my move soon because otherwise I'm stuck there. Intentions need to be known or it becomes awkward for everyone.

    • Yup that's true and no one likes to feel awkward

What Guys Said 5

  • Chicks don't just suddenly bail out unless they have a reason. You said as things got more serious they bailed out on you, and not just one but two women have done this to you. You did something or said something to cause them to bail out, I don't know what that is because you didn't go into detail.

    But that is the problem, your saying something to them to freak them out, and when they get freaked out they run.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm not sure what it is. I learned from my younger, early-teen years to never tell a girl that you like them, so I never did. I also learned not to go freaky/tell them your feelings. That's why I'm confused because I never did any of those things with those girls.

  • yeah...you sound like me. It seems some girls have a hard time telling the serious dudes from the not so serious. But if she likes you, just remain friends for a while or whatever. Hopefully you can find a girl that will enjoy being serious.

    0|0
    0|0
  • good question! I would like to add I also see girls around here that want to just have fun. Especially college girls because I'm in college and it seems like all they wanna do is have fun. It seems like they go with the old saying "you're only 19/20/21and sometimes 22 once" so live life to the fullest and take full advantage of it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends in which state are you. I can tell you that in Canada, girls are not like that, they're even more serious than boys. In NY also.

    0|0
    0|1
  • you sound like a well-adjusted guy with a good grasp on reality

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...