What does it mean when guys are attracted to you, but don't want to date you?

Over the past year, I have had several different guys find me attractive, both personality-wise and physically. I became interested in two of them, and in each instance, we talked for a while and we had a "thing." But after a couple of weeks to months, they got bored of me and decided they didn't like me anymore/ didn't want to date. I was just curious to see what people's opinions on this was.

*Also, I just want to point out that I am aware of being young, and I'm not preoccupied with this and freaking out over it. I have time to find someone, and I know that. I really am just generally curious. Thanks!

Updates:
Thank you to everyone who replied to this! I actually ended up contacting them and asking them, and they said the problem was that they were still in love with their ex/not ready to be in a relationship with all the surrounding circumstances. Thanks again for taking the time to answer to my question, I really appreciate it! :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sure they have their reasons. These things can be complicated. Maybe they thought that you weren't what they thought/wanted or they thought that they wouldn't be good for you or even that you were too much for them. If they don't say, we can never know, we can just wonder things.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am with the guys so far, I would think it is something in your personality. My experience is if a guy finds a girl attractive and they do want a relationship then the things that will scare them a way are as follows:

    1) She is dangerous or crazy. This makes her a bad risk men worth happening will not want this in a girlfriend.
    2) She is irrationally jealous. She sees cheating or betrayal in every day interactions. No one wants this in a partner. It is annoying.
    3) She is a doormat/needy. The person that when asked "what do you want to do?" always answers with "I dunno, whatever you want." Again, no one wants this in a partner. It is annoying.

    If you do not think you are any of the things listed above then I have no idea why. Generally speaking, if a guy finds you attractive and he likes your personality then he wants you. My only guess would be maybe these guys did not want to be in a relationship at all.

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    • Regarding number 3. What will be the smartest way to asnwer then

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    • Also, she's pretty young. so chances are the guys just wanted to be in a relationship for the hell of it (w/o really caring or thinking too hard about it).

    • @Ellaphoebe14 probably as she is only 17

What Guys Said 18

  • Maybe they feel like you're not being genuine, you're testing them, or playing games. As soon as that happens, they shut off emotionally, become withdrawn, lose interest and move on.

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  • At that age, guys are looking to swap sexual partners, wanting to insure they are not missing anything before getting hooked forever banned from other gals.
    This was what was up with all that!
    "Still in love" is code for - decided not to change sex partners at this time. IN fact, once a girlfriend of that age smells they are shopping around, they step up their sex game to keep their BFs = "still in love" comes out of their mouths

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  • Their reasons are fair, but sometimes there's just lack or not enough chemistry to carry on, even if they're attracted. At least for me, I need a very strong pull towards a girl to make me stay, otherwise I'll be lazy and not make an effort to stick around. So even if they do find you attractive, it may as well not be enough for them to try.

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  • Maybe your just not their type... just cuz your girl doesn't guarantee every guy will fall madly in love with u, maybe u talk about yourself too much or maybe u have sex with them too early and they leave after getting what they want, maybe your annoying lol millions upon billions of reasons ask em lol

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  • What you describe is a normal part of the human mating dance.
    Dating is a series of auditions for potential mates. Those auditions work both ways.
    It is a matter of crunching the numbers until something clicks.

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  • It doesn't really mean anything. Most teenage guys have no interest in getting in to a longterm relationship so they leave before things get serious

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  • It's called dating, and you've been out with two guy, it's not surprising you haven't found your match. Someone will come along, and you'll both never want to leave each other, it's just the way life works.

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  • They lost interest in you. They'd fuck you but not date you.

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  • If they were younger they would only be interested in sex, without commitment. Oh yes, that applies to married and partnered guys as well.
    If they get sex, they then move on to another conquest, if they don't get sex, they do the same!

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  • Maybe too much makeup?

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  • That they don't wanna date when they can bang lol

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  • it means they just want to fuck once it twice then never talk to u again

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  • Point is that
    They did not get bore of u
    But feel jealous of each other
    As u wer talking to both persons at the same time

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  • It means you have a hot body but probably are less than valuable otherwise.

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  • It means there is something wrong with your personality

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  • It means you are stupid as f**k

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  • Did they really say "I'm bored with you, lets not date." or something like that?

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  • Personality. They lost interest in yours and they didn't feel the connection building. It could even be a personality trait they don't like about you that only comes out later after they've gotten to know you a bit.

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What Girls Said 2

  • They lost interest. That's normal. Sometimes you like someone but then your feelings fade for whatever reason.
    Some of them might also have realized that they're not in a state of mind where it would be a good idea to date.

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  • Just because someone finds you attractive doesn't mean they like you.
    Just because they like you doesn't mean they want to date you.
    Just because they date you doesn't mean they love you.
    Just because they love you doesn't mean their ready to commit to you.
    Just because they commit to you doesn't mean they would keep consistency.

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