Should a guy pay on a first date?

I've always wondered about this. Even though I always offer to pay, I don't understand why if you set up a meet up with someone you met online, we men are expected to pay. I have been on countless numerous of dates from online site OKC, and everything seems to go great. I always end up paying, and majority of women don't even offer to split the bill. Mind you, this is the first time meeting this stranger, which I have no idea if it will lead to a second or third date. I understand that we men look more like gentleman's when we pay, but what do we do when we're spending money on dates with strangers that lead no where at all.
How donwe avoid this. I have tries numerous way of meeting women in like coffee shops and going for a coffee or a few drinks which seems less expensive, but we always end up going to a place where I'm spending 60 to 70 bucks on meals.
Again, I'm not saying I don't want to pay for a woman. Yes, I would be more than happy to pay for a woman that I'm dating casually, but it's its just the results of these first strings-a-long dates, that have me thinking twice now.


0|0
12|11

Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand exactly where you are coming from & it makes plenty of sense that you would feel this way. I almost don't know what to tell you. If you don't offer to pay then you'll seem like a cheap guy or even a jerk. Guys should pay for first dates because they want to make a good impression & show that they are chivalrous gentlemen that can take care of their women. To save money on these dates that hardly ever work out I'd say for your first time meeting how about a park. You could take a walk and get to know each other. First dates do not have to be dinner. You're only just meeting up so make it less formal & more casual. It doesn't even have to be a date, just a meetup & if you two spark then you could ask her on a date. I'd prefer to meet at a park. It removes the pressure & the atmosphere is calm & great for getting to know someone new.

    1|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 11

  • I think that splitting it between the two is best.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I disagree. If a woman offers to split in the first dates, for me is like she's saying "See you never."

    • Show All
    • @Giacomanzo I know it's your opinion, dude, the same as what I posted was my opinion, it's all cool :P I'm just telling you that I think you're wrong.

    • Sure, don't worry, I got that ^^

  • Hmm yeah that is tricky. I think that's kind of the responsibility of the girl. For example, if I felt a date wasn't going well I'd put my card out and say we'll split it. But if I feel it's going well I'll let him pay. But it's tricky from your point of view because if you were to tell the waitress to split it you would look rude. Lol

    0|1
    0|0
    • For real, I would. I just wish I could understnd it better. I'm not afraid of spending money on dates, but when ypu keep seeing the same results you start to think a different way. It's like, ok. I'm spending my money on dates, but not good results.

    • Yeah, I definitely agree. it's not fair to guys. I know some girls that only go on Tinder for free meals.

  • If you invited me to go to a restaurant with you, you pay. That simple.
    The one who invites should always pay, if no one invited, everyone should just pay for what they're having.
    If you can't afford to pay for her dinner or are too greedy, don't ask her to go to a restaurant with you in the first place and just go for a walk instead.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Well, I'm sure you go on plenty of dates and let every guy pay correct? Because otherwise if he doesn't he's too greedy or can't afford. When you invited your friends out you pay as well.
      My questions refers to these one meal ticket women and how to avoid spending money on women who you have never met, and go on a first agreement date, which leads go no where.

    • Show All
    • Well, yeah, of course, there is nothing wrong in handling things differently ^^ But what you said is what I would do with friends, mostly.

  • Yes. Always. Here is the definitive reason why. When it comes to the universal laws of polarity, Men only have two gifts...
    www.eharmony.com/.../#.VzjkEMj3bCT

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes!

    0|0
    0|0
  • İt doesn't make any difference. He or me, can pay. Or we can share like German Style :)) But in Turkey, Men dont allow to women pay. :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • pay 50/50. not only will you be able to do more if you like hanging out, but if something does go wrong at least nobody feels like they got cheated out of something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • in lebanon it is traditions. even my guy friends pay for me sometimes

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't get it I mean you're both there to have a good time and why should you treat someone like your bank account I think I should pay my own way because there are more important things to spend your money on than me just my opinion

    0|0
    0|0
  • No the woman should pay for the date. I always have... I hate when guys pay.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The one who invites the other person should pay.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Like women invite men anywhere. And even if they do, they know that 90% of the time we will offer to pay because itself what the norma of society has implanted in our minds to make us look like gentleman.

What Guys Said 10

  • That's why they're on OKC. If they line up 7 dinners for the week they can eat well without the cost. :D

    0|2
    0|0
  • It's up to the guy, he's not really obligated to.

    0|2
    0|0
  • No, fight the power and make women start paying for dates. They wanted equal pay well they can equally pay for our food. It's the men's turn to order the most expensive thing on the menu!
    Also, make her feel guilty if she doesn't buy you jewelry on Valentine's or your birthday.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hell yeah he should! We should pay for every date for at least 3-4 months, when you know you can consider a couple! And there is no need for spending 70 bucks for a meal, there are a lot of restaurants where you will get a first, a second and a contour for 20 euros each person.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well its not fair. Every person should pay for itself.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Personal opinion- yes

    1|0
    0|0
  • I pay for the first date.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nope

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes, it's the start of a good relationship

    1|0
    0|0
  • Lol only ones that believe that are "insecured" about their "manhood" which they really don't have anyhow and wanna prove it that they are "man" to everyone by being super clingy

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...