My "unattractive friend" gets all the guys?

I know this sounds extremely judgmental & not nice but...

My friend Who is not the most "attractive" person in the world, gets all the guys! Every time we go out guys seem to approach her & they are actually good looking. She really has nothing going for her either no car or real job.

I just don't get it, I am definitely way better looking than her and have more to offer. I don't know if I give off a "vibe" about myself or what the case is?

I guess my question is, How do I get more guys to approach me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She may be more outgoing and more approachable. The other thing is, if you are good looking... that can sometimes be intimidating to guys.

    The one thing you don't want to do is come across as relying totally on your looks.

    A women who is friendly and approachable... or does the approaching is the type that is sought after by men.

    In this day in age, guys have a lot of hurdles to jump and potholes to avoid, so getting some kind of hint that you are into them, lets them know they don't have to do all the work!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Clearly your snobby - "I think I'm better than you attitude" shows even in your text...
    That should tell you enough as to why guys aren't approaching you! ;-)

    In addition, there is NO such thing as a 'real' job... Anything that pays you is a 'REAL job'... Get off your made belief high horse and come back to earth... Maybe then people might start approaching you. You seem to be jealous of your 'friend' - who has nothing going on for her including no car and a real job, and according to 'you' is 'less better looking than you'. To be honest, I dont even know why such a person would want to be friends with someone like you. I'm sure your friend is probably nice as hell and more approachable.

    Clearly with an attitude and behavior like yours - bitchiness can be smelled a MILE away... Sorry to say this, but until you change, your friend is going to continue getting all the guys ;-)

    Maybe if you'd stop focusing so much on your friend and start focusing on yourself, you could get someone nice and decent. Or like someone in the comments said, why don't you go and approach them.

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What Guys Said 23

  • looks are subjective. what is pretty to you, or i may not be pretty to someone else

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  • It's all subjective and attractiveness can be really arbitrary. We all have different types and preferences.

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  • It's easier to get rejected by an average girl, than by a beautiful one, cause you can find an average anywhere.

    But maybe the vibe you give isn't positive. If you have a resting bitch face, or a negative body language, that can push guys away. If your friend looks more approachable, that hurts your chances.
    Also, maybe your friends is more "easy" than you.

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  • I guess your "unattractive" friend is actually attractive.

    Maybe she just doesn't cake makeup on or something.

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    • Also maybe she knows the difference between "defiantly" and "definitely", lol.

  • okay when you say get all the guys, you mean she gets all the relationships? strong relationships?

    or she literally just gets all the approaches and shit.

    cause that makes a difference with how I'm going to answer.

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  • She's probably more approachable/less intimidating to guys. Maybe she smiles at guys while you don't, for example.

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  • I dont think we can answer this unless we saw you in person. Both of you.

    Its maybe you give off a vibe that your either not looking for a relationship or your just not friendly and outgoing?

    OK when they approach her they don't know she has a job or anything going for her. They just think she's pretty and like her attitude.

    Just be inviting and smile I guess. I don't know. If I am attracted to a woman I'll go up and talk to her it's not like I go through a checklist.

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  • Who says you're more attractive? You seem like a bit of an arsehole to be honest.

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  • To us, it's a lot harder to approach a very attractive girl, and that is your own fault, you attractive girls walk around with such a poise, that to be honest, it seens like you don't even wanna be aproached.

    put a smile, that is the secret to make guys talk to you

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  • Some girls thinks that being beautiful is enough to affect guys. But this is just advantage. One girl I met in the street was very beautiful , after I know her and she became very ugly because of lack of communication. She was boring , sullen face and unhappy , and she was absorbing my jokes. Even I am handsome and nice communicator. But an other time , an other girl who wasn't so beautiful became to me more nice. Cuz she was very positive , happy and smile face , she was adding new jokes after my jokes. Thats why she was 100 times greater cool than the other girl.

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  • Maybe she has a good personality also, just cos you don't think she is attractive doens't mean other guys dont

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  • Well she's obviously attractive, if she's attracting and getting all the guys... You've got it mixed up...

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  • You probably give off a bitch vibe and your friend a more approachable vibe.

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  • Do you have a severe case of RBF?

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  • "Attractive" and "unattractive" are subjective. Pics would help.

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  • With "friends" like you who needs haters.

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  • guys sometime goes for the medium pretty of the group cause going for the most attractive sometimes feels like it would be a loss mayb that's it?

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  • maybe you should try and approach someone

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  • I honestly don't know, but maybe you're very good looking and guys are kind of shy to approach you.

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  • Her attitude is a turn off so I wouldn't approach her

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  • Does she have a big butt? Maybe it is emitting pheromones and yours are all gone.

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  • Not all guys care only about looks. Also, if she gets more attention than you then it's probably because she looks more approachable than you.

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  • Maybe cause your stuck up

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What Girls Said 15

  • Hmmmm... I know that's a sucky feeling but there is something about her. maybe she is confident acting, dresses nice, nice body? I don't know but its something about her that is drawing them. Its hard to believe she is not attractive at all if men are constently approaching her. Maybe to you she is not but to them she is.

    Maybe smile more when you are out if you are not. Make sure your showing confidence. How do you dress? Sexy? if not, dress a little more sexy or so. not slutty but you know, look appealing.

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  • Perhaps she's more approachable? Or just like you said, you give off a vibe that tells guys you don't want to be approached. Ever heard of the phrase resting bitch face? Maybe you just come across as stuck up to those guys? I have this problem sometimes and I think that could be the reason. I'm not stuck up by any means but it can come across that way to others, especially to strangers.

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    • I have a resting bitch face too. How do you deal with it?

    • @Munchkin_pie I try so smile more and make eye contact to look more approachable. Or I get drunk. A lot of guys who seem uninterested at first make a move on me after I've had a few drinks. Not sure if it's because I'm more approachable or because they think I'll be an easy lay but oh well...

  • Attractiveness is about a lot more than looks, and the kind of person with an approachable personality does not consider her friends unattractive. Try looking at things more positively, see fewer flaws in others, and remain confident without feeling cocky or superior so much. Improving your attitude could do wonders here.

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  • Could be two things. 1 she's not as unattractive as you think. 2 she has a much nicer, more approachable personality than you do. Could be a combination of the two.

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  • D'aw, someone's jealous of her friend... I am pretty sure it's your ugly attitude that repels guys. I am objectively "ugly" as well, in a relationship and have plenty of guys crushing on me. Just stop being insecure, because that is definitely a "vibe".

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  • Maybe she has a better personality and is more approachable than you are.

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  • What's her personality like?

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  • She quite obviously has a great personality, and you need to get rid of that little green man with horns on.

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  • Maybe she has fun friendly personality.

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  • She has the charisma to attract them!!

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  • She's probably easier to approach.

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  • Maybe she is more approachable than you. Maybe she has charisma that attracts men.

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  • Defiantly? Maybe you're the unattractive friend?

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  • I'm in the same boat. My friend isn't ugly, though, but she's not better looking than me. Her own boyfriend said to her face, and this is a direct quote, "Your friend (meaning me) is pretty. I mean, you're pretty at all, but she (meaning me) doesn't have to wear make up." My friend wears it all the time. I mean, she has a car and apartment, but she didn't even get her license until she was like 22. We both have degrees, but I'm the only one using mine. Her boyfriend has been with her for 5 years. I can't even get a guy to talk to me. guys tell me all the time they think I'm pretty and cool, but I'm not someone they'd date. Lol, I feel like a misfit. I'm smart, live on my own, pay my own bills, and have so much to offer, but just no one to share it with. It's depressing.

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    • why don't you try askin the friends boyfriend, maybe he can see if it's your body language or something

    • I feel like this will be me.. With a lot to offer but no one to give it to. I don't know if I'm attractive though, because I think I am since I catch guys looking, but I'm pretty sure I have a resting bitch face and not much confidence or outgoing-ness (I know that's probably not a word lol). So that may be why guys don't approach me. Or I am just not attractive.. 🤔

  • She probably puts out

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    • How could you be able to tell that from seeing somebody for the first time? Lol

    • @06CuriousMind she could have a reputation. All it takes is one guy to say she does and the others will come running.

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