He tells me he is using no contact method on me. What should I do?

We met through friends. He soon started texting me every day and taking me to dinner, telling me he’s looking for a serious relationship. I am shy and not very experienced in relationships. So every time he asked if we were more than just friends, I just blushed.

The hanging out/dating lasted for three weeks and then he stopped contacting me. I felt confused. I tried to asking him out, but he didn’t reply at all. I was so lost that I almost gave up.

One month later he suddenly called me, making sure I go to a mutual friend’s birthday party. He seemed friendly to everybody at the party, but always sat next to me and wherever I went he followed.

After the party, he walked me home. He told me about his life in the past month, and he mentioned his best friend was recently engaged with a wonderful girl without chasing her. His best friend recommended no contact method and he decided to take that suggestion. He said a lot that day but disappeared again the next day.

I think every relationship is mutual and so is the chase. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to play mind games in a sincere relationship. I know I still have feelings for this guy. He is not devious and in fact I think he is a bit unsophisticated by telling he is using the no contact method. But I did feel disgusted when he mentioned the mind game. Is he worth it? What should I do? Help! Thank you!


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What Guys Said 2

  • You ned to become assertive and tell him the following:

    1. You like him and respect him.
    2. You have feelings for him and you hope those feelings can grow.
    3. You hope he has feelings for you and you hope his feelings will grow.
    4. His no contact method is stupid, disrespectful, and condescending.
    5. You are wise enough to give him a second chance.
    6. You hope he is wise enough to take advantage of the second chance and not repeat his mistakes.

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    • Thank you so much! Is it possible that he tried that mind game because he felt I was not making efforts from my side given my shyness? Perhaps there are problems I need to work out myself too?

      I am nervous. He never literally said he liked me. He always used other words. Is it too direct or even weird if I bring it up?

    • Yes, that is possible. It sounds like he is very inexperienced and not trusting his own instincts. Tell him you are shy and don't always express your feelings but all he needs to do is ask and you will tell him how you feel.

      Usually, when I hear something about the "no contact" rule, it is from people breaking up. The rule says that if you want to get over someone, you must eliminate all contact instead of hanging on in any way.

  • Call him on it. If it was going good before and he is playing these dumb games on you to try and gain your interest, give him an ultimatum. If he still wants to play his dumb games he can play them by himself.
    It sounds like he is not so experienced in the dating world and he feels guilty doing this (that's why he told you)
    Call him on it and be straight forward. Tell him how you feel. Let him know its dumb.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you think it's worth it, then you should talk to him about it and mention that you do not appreciate mind games and that if he keeps acting indifferent, that will make you give up on him.

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