I dated this guy for years and we were each other's "first" everything, but we broke up for dumb reasons. A few weeks later, he got into a relationship with someone else, while I stayed single. They were together for about four months, and when they broke up, I got back with my ex.
Everything is fine, but today I realized he'd had sex with that other girl, which was something I never considered for some reason. When it finally hit me, it really hurt because before her, we had been through everything for the first time. He was the only one I had ever been with and we had so much history, but now I understood that someone else had been in that position too.
I know I shouldn't care and whatnot, but I still can't get over it. I'm not jealous or mad, but I look at him and shudder thinking about it. I just don't know what to do. Any words of advice?
Most Helpful Guy
Well you really seem to have good morals and values but then it's not a must that he also should be the same and should have the same thinking like yours.
It's good that you stayed single and didn't have sex with anyone else while you both were apart but then the fact is you broke up with him so officially it was over so that's why he had sex with another girl, so you really can't say he was wrong to do it, you really can't question his action given the fact that you had broken up with him.
However I can understand what you are saying0
Most Helpful Girl
You are doing better than most people. And when I say most people I mean old or young and male or female.
You recognize that he is not in the wrong for doing what he did and you are not jealous or mad but hurt about it.
That is fine. It is fine to be hurt. It is fine to wish that he did not experience something with someone else that you thought was just for you guys.
But it happened. You were broken up at the time so he is not to blame. But now what do you do with the hurt and sickening feeling you feel when you thing about it? That is your question.
My advice. Recognize that you are hurt but each time you do feel hurt remind yourself he did nothing wrong. And then get over the hurt by realizing it happened and there is nothing you can do to change that.
So the only option left is to forget about it. Harder to do than to say do but it is what you need to do.
What are your alternatives? If you want to be with him, the only thing you can do is move on. And the only way to move on is to move on from it. Trite advice I know but true nonetheless.
Good luck to ya'.