I just can't get over the fact he had sex with another girl?

I dated this guy for years and we were each other's "first" everything, but we broke up for dumb reasons. A few weeks later, he got into a relationship with someone else, while I stayed single. They were together for about four months, and when they broke up, I got back with my ex.

Everything is fine, but today I realized he'd had sex with that other girl, which was something I never considered for some reason. When it finally hit me, it really hurt because before her, we had been through everything for the first time. He was the only one I had ever been with and we had so much history, but now I understood that someone else had been in that position too.

I know I shouldn't care and whatnot, but I still can't get over it. I'm not jealous or mad, but I look at him and shudder thinking about it. I just don't know what to do. Any words of advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you really seem to have good morals and values but then it's not a must that he also should be the same and should have the same thinking like yours.

    It's good that you stayed single and didn't have sex with anyone else while you both were apart but then the fact is you broke up with him so officially it was over so that's why he had sex with another girl, so you really can't say he was wrong to do it, you really can't question his action given the fact that you had broken up with him.

    However I can understand what you are saying

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are doing better than most people. And when I say most people I mean old or young and male or female.

    You recognize that he is not in the wrong for doing what he did and you are not jealous or mad but hurt about it.

    That is fine. It is fine to be hurt. It is fine to wish that he did not experience something with someone else that you thought was just for you guys.

    But it happened. You were broken up at the time so he is not to blame. But now what do you do with the hurt and sickening feeling you feel when you thing about it? That is your question.

    My advice. Recognize that you are hurt but each time you do feel hurt remind yourself he did nothing wrong. And then get over the hurt by realizing it happened and there is nothing you can do to change that.

    So the only option left is to forget about it. Harder to do than to say do but it is what you need to do.

    What are your alternatives? If you want to be with him, the only thing you can do is move on. And the only way to move on is to move on from it. Trite advice I know but true nonetheless.

    Good luck to ya'.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Time.
    Time should heal the wound. Unless he still hangs out with the girl you should be fine. I wouldn't lie to yourself though, the reason it bothers you is most likely jealousy but not about him so much as the situation. You're most likely jealous of the time and affections he gave to this girl instead of you. You've got to remind yourself that you're with him now and you're the one he chose to go back to.

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  • You broke up, what did you expect?

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What Girls Said 4

  • Just know that what he does without you whilst you're not together is not in your control, if roles were reversed, would you want him feeling the same way? Probably not, because at that time you weren't together and he moved on, we can't change the past. Just move forward now because you can still be happy.

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  • Let yourself feel how you do. It hurt you so don't try to deny that and express your feelings to him. Don't make it about attacking him, but just express that you would appreciate a little comfort and understanding. If he cares deeply for you, he'll understand and do his best to provide that comfort.

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  • Well he had broken up with you and had sex with his then girlfriend. It's not like he cheated or anything. I don't know why you two broke up but maybe it hurts you more because you didn't find anyone else to date while the two of you were apart and that you still had feelings for him then. Sounds like you just were hoping that he wouldn't feel that sexual connection with anyone else besides you. I do think it's natural that you're a bit mad about all this but remember he wasn't with you at the time.

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  • You guys broke up, so I don't know what you were expecting out of that. That he wouldn't have sex with anymore women?

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