Maintaining friendship with someone you had a fling with?

She decided she was not ready for a relationship, and needed to figure some stuff out on her own. We both took a step back from each other and took a break. Now her and I are "friends" but we are still flirty and she expresses how she still cares for me and wants to be updated on my life. My hope is that us being friends is taking things slower, and may lead to commitment down the line. But is this plan of action wise? Will this work out? The word "friends" may mean different things to the both of us, im just not sure...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on the fling. My ex hates me (not my fault I believe), 3 of my 4 one night stands are still friends of mine and we're even closer than before although one is about to become a 2 nights stand. 1 was crazy, a mistake, we wouldn't have become friends anyways. My former friends with benefits kinda raped me and said I hurt his feelings by telling him I was not okay with that. So that's tense now. We're still "friends" due to mutual friends and activities, but we don't talk or meet in private at all anymore.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It could work if you play your cards right. You shouldn't shut her out, or "ghost" her, but don't open up too much. I've noticed that when people want to stay updated about your life but don't want a relationship, they eventually find out that they're happy with a friendship.
    To avoid this, slowly back away. Don't update her on everything. Maybe try dating someone else as well. There's a chance she may never want to get back together.
    My second to last ex did that. I took 5 steps back. It bothered her that I was so aloof. Eventually she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her I was talking to someone, since she wasn't interested and I could stick around forever. We got together - needless to say, I wish I had asked the other girl out.

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What Girls Said 9

  • This has never worked out in my experience. Start moving on with other people.

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  • Don't stay friends with someone who rejected you romantically. Either your start to blur boundaries, which just causes problems or an unhealthy pattern of behaviour, or because you keep seeing them, you want more and they don't and it just hurts you.

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  • Why did you break up... exactly? Tell her your future plan, regarding her! Ask her if she'd ever be more than friends, again. Ask her what her definition of friends (with you) is.. and say your view after. *note* This can either end well or badly.

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  • I tried this with a man and all I've ended up with is a broken heart. I really tried (trying) to just be friends but it's tearing me apart. I had to just walk away. Thankfully he's not playing games with me and I hope to get over him soon.

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  • Talking shit

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  • step one: have sex with them
    step two: doesn't matter

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  • Do not try to be friends with her

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  • You're just going to end up disappointed

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  • You can't. Not with someone you've already been physical with especially if one of you has feelings. It won't work out.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Never ever take the friendship road. Experience told me that it will only make things worse. You'll set yourself up with expectations to this "friendship", and when u realize ultimately it will go nowhere, your heart will be wrecked. Save yourself from trouble. Walk away and move on!

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  • In my experience the longer you're friends the more she will see you as just that, a friend.
    Now I'm not saying something won't happen but the best thing you can do right now would be keep dating around, and if she chases you then great. But if not then at least you've moved on.

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  • Why must you maintain friendship with someone you had a fling with? It's never a good idea to do so. Logically speaking you should keep any contact with them whatsoever.

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  • Drop her immediately dude. Yea she interested in you, but her interest level are not high enough to want you immediately.

    There this awesome phrase i alway say : " Girl are not ready for a relationship until they are " which mean she wants a relationship, just not with [ you ] . When she meet someone she actually want, she will suddenly decide that she's ready.

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  • I'd move on, usually when a girl says she wants to take a break and figure her self out, she is putting you on the back burner because she wants to figure her self out with some other guy.

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  • Why do you care about labels, friend , friends with benefits , brother all are fine. Just enjoy the present. The future will have what it will have.

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  • Let it go.

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  • Will work

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  • I hope you get together. However don't let her stringing you on.

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