Guys, does the fact that a girl has had sex before make her undiserable? Does she have to be innocent?

I recently gotten into a argument online with this guy (not going to say his name), and he said that he would only marry a virgin also that guys and girls weren't equal in sex, and that "If a girl had 10 partners no decent guy will go near her, and a guy can sleep with 20 girls and still score a decent, quality girl." So basically what he was saying that no guy will want a girl if she wasn't a virgin, he also said that all men were like this... I'm just trying to see what other males think about this. Now this leads me to my question, Men does the fact that a girl has had sex before make her undesirable? I also want to see what girls think about this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at all. If they are virgins, more power to them. If not its there past who cares? not a big deal to a point. Dont wanna be with a chick that will do anything that walks or be paid for it.

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    • Fucking exactly! Thank you! Everyone is turning this around into a whole "non virgins are better than virgins. Like if it shouldn't matter if they get around it shouldn't matter if they. Its a two eay street. Seriously though, excuse my language but WHO GIVES A FUCK. Pathetic assholes is who. Itd be different if the person is actually a whore tbh like "get a life, not another dick." lmao

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    • @99percentangel Thanks for the MHO!

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's the ridiculous slut Vs stud debate. Now, asking this question... you may get bias or sexist answers. My boyfriend thinks that if either a male OR female sleeps with 20+ people, it's disgusting. I don't think being a virgin is a MUST for marriage. I slept with 5 guys in total. Truthfully I think the 4/5... we used each other! Lol. This guy sounds like he has unreasonable expectations.

    If a girl is BEING used, assuming these guys want a relationship with her--then they don't, it's the guy's fault. Let's also assume this girl is going to college and has a job. This girl isn't some "hoe" she is just naive and trusts easily. Now--if she has no car, no job, and parties a lot... she could be easy. She has no self respect and isn't trying in life.

    If a guy has a girl on the side, and sleeps with random girls, has no job, no car, and does drugs--he's a man-slut lol If he has his shit together, and still does this--he might be bored OR too busy for real relationships. He would be a "stud" in my opinion.

    See what makes a "slut" or "man slut"? No self respect, no ambition, desire to win at sex, Obsession with being obsessed, need to be center of attention, sometimes into drugs or partying, need to brag to friends, low self-esteem and issues with parents! ROCK ON!

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What Guys Said 31

  • That whole idea is ludacris. So what he is saying is he will only settle for perfection and girls should just settle for what ever. He is a frigging ass pig !! A woman has every right to do as she pleases just like us guys do. And another thing I prefer a woman that has had some experience with sex , I am not a teacher , I am an active participant and want her to be confident in knowing what I like , this behavior is not found in a virgin and if she already know how to please a man and says she is a virgin , she is hooked on porn or a lier

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    • MHO!!! 200% !

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    • You know I find it so ironic how people always tell you to be yourself when in fact those same people want you to be a certain way and also try changing themselves.

    • I readly could care less. Its not I know these people. But I won't hesitate to point out that someone is in the wrong with their shallowness. Even you said so yourself that you don't have particular perferences as long as the person is a great person and that is why I am your friend. You are a true friend that isn't shallow and dumb. Not many people are so.

  • No. That's not true. At minimum, not all men are like that, because I'm not. I dislike virgins, really. And there are quite a few other males who do, as well.

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    • Lmao everyone was a virgin at one point... So how can you say you don't like virgins? Its understandable that you'd rather be with someone experienced but you sound so bizarre saying "I dislike virgins".

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    • @Grungenoreos I sucked at standing up for myself in school... but helping others is my job... You are very welcome!

    • @xDocilexFaeriex 21 year olds. Yes. I am attacking her. It's not like she opened up on *my* opinion insulting my preferences. Man, you bitches are crazy. Go away.

  • I don't agree with this guy. I don't expect a girl I date to be a virgin (actually I'd rather she not be tbh), and whatever's in her past is past. (Unless she's carrying an STD.)

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  • I doubt that's true for most men. It certainly isn't true for me. However, there is a point that it becomes a turn off. That's why I generally don't ask and just try and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

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  • Not at all

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  • Not true. I could really not care less.

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  • NO! Experienced girls are obviously better lovers and make a more informed choice when choosing a partner.

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  • The fact is, guys that obsess over innocence are unstable. Even though they seem, at first, to have a solid and concrete worldview.

    They often have depression and/or narcissistic qualities. They are not easily aroused by anything and are removed from their sexual selves. The world is very blue to them, so they latch on to 'beacons of light and hope'.

    Some men think like this when they are young, but mature. Others become fanatics, and hypocrites. A lack of innocence is threatening so they condemn it. You don't need to impress these people, they have issues and aren't easily aroused by anyone.

    I've always liked bad girls because they teach me to see the world in red.

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    • Whats wrong with being a virgin? Im not saying you have to be but everyone was at one point LMFAO including *gasps* you!

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    • Well thank you. And what makes you feel I am afraid of men? I actually enjoy men's company over women's.

    • @Grungenoreos I'm not saying you are afraid of men. I'm just saying there are always a lot of people out there who will tell you to be afraid of men. Purists are overbearing and cause problems in my experience. I had a different upbringing from you.

  • Well i think that every guy would prefer a girl with a lower count.
    That being said, he is wrong , if a guy has had 20 girls, he doesn't deserve a virgin.
    A virgin gives a guy an ego boost as in she's only ever had him so he is by default the best she had. Id enjoy that tbh. But its not as high in my priority list as her personality traits are.
    For me , i can consider a girl as ling as she's not in the double digits, and im not either. So its not hypocritical of me.

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  • It wouldn't matter to me, only thing that would have to be for me is her not to have been married before, if she had then for her to have been cheated on before divorce, reason being the only acceptable divorce reason in God's is infidelity and adultery, other then that, a virgin or experienced, dont matter as long as i can love her and she I

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  • Only pussies think like that.

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  • for me, it makes her better, if she had a relationship before, it means she´s not clueless. being innocent is "ok" but it´s kind of annoying getting them to have sex and getting them to enjoy it.

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    • Lol well good not every guy is obsessed with having an innocent virgin

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    • l your bad ideas on a guy based on one sentence he wrote...

    • I understand now. My bad

  • :l i unless you have been with 10 people in 2 years then i dont think men would not like you if it was like 10 people in the span of like 9+ years then maybe they prob wouldn't mind

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  • The guy is a freak who has weird ideas. Forget him.

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  • Your friend is wrong, he's generalizing. It's true that many men will find girls with previous partners undesirable, but many men won't. It depends on the guy only.

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  • yes for me it does, if a girl has had sex before it does make her undesirable for me but that doesn't mean that i can have sex how much i want. i'll be just like her and have no sex.

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  • Some guys will think a girl is undesirable like if he's waiting for marriage. Most guys don't but it will slightly decrease the size of the eligible dating pool.

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  • That's bullshit and he's an asshole

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  • no, I want to be experienced. I had one virgin and never again.. I want all my girls to know how to fuck some what and like sex

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  • Make her more desirable in my opinion :)

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  • no, you take her for her

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  • im a virgin and i would like my parner to be aswell but that doesn't mean i wouldn't give her a chance

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  • I have no interest in women I can't learn a thing or two from.

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  • For marriage, yes, any intelligent guy will want a girl who is a virgin

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  • Well this being more of a feminist and liberal dominated site, a lot of people are going to disagree with this guy. Anyway, I'm still a virgin myself and let me tell you, I wouldn't date a girl who's had sex with more than 3 guys and even 3 is really pushing it. I mean think about it, girls are more known to take back a cheating boyfriend than the other way around.

    Not to mention that girls seem to be more to players. Its almost every girls fantasy to be the one girl who changed the player into a single woman kind of guy. To be the girl who won and caught the man every girl wanted.

    Guys are the opposite. We don't want to marry the girl who gives up sex easily. Sure most guys would have sex with her, but they would never really marry her. We want the girl who's only ever been with us. You see guys fighting over the woman who's pure and knows how to be a good mother and wife. That's why girls who sleep around and girls who are focused on their careers hardly ever get married. Girls like a guy who every girl wants. Guys only like a girl when she's attractive and healthy from a physical stand point and her ability as a mother and wife. Girls care A LOT more about a guys status than guys.

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  • I would say it's about a disproportionate amount of partners: If I had a lot of partners then I wouldn't be as bothered. I don't want to feel like a random face in a crowd. And it makes it feels like there's a ton of history their which I don't want to be a part of. It's all basically an evolved response because there we don't have 'certainty of paternity'. If I like a girl I want to actually be important to her. I want to be a part of her formative years.

    This guy is exaggerating or stupid. Most people consider 20 too much, there's a disparity that's easily explainable with evolution, but it's not a wide as that idiot makes it sound. Girls tend to prefer guys with a little more sexual experience and visa versa.

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  • Virgins are more appealing because you can't sacrifice a whore in the name of lucifer

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    • What the fuck

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    • Lmao yeah sure, like thats the reason I am appealing... 😂😂

    • Why are you even bringing this up? Are you like fascinated with satanism? No offense.

  • If others didn't want her, why should I sacrifice myself?

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  • Not at all. She has whatever experience she has when we meet. Now as long as I am the only experience after that it doesn't affect how desirable she is at all.

    There are pros and cons to experience as always though.

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  • I'm just the opposite. I think guys like that are insecure, they don't want to be compared to another guy and found wanting. I invite comparison because it almost always makes me look better.

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    • *rolls eyes* yeah well technically no one should really give two shits whether someone is or isn't a virgin. I mean everyone was one at one point. Honestly though everyone gets judged thought concerning sex. You never had it : "Oh gosh, something is wrong with you" or "Eww she's a prude" and if you do have sex , you get the other side of the spectrum's judgement.

    • *judged though

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What Girls Said 8

  • You can give that guy a big middle finger on my behalf and tell him that he will never find a nice girl but a STUPID ignorant person who would put up with his bullshit because no person with common sense would ever choose such a man.

    It is bullshit that a girl with 20 men cannot score a decent quality guy.
    A girl who has had sex does NOT make her undesirable... It makes her experienced and GOOD in bed. And if men don't like that, who gives a fuck anyway? Lol YOU DO YOU AND Go HAVE some safe sexual experiences and enjoy your life!

    You were meant and born to live and enjoy life NOT TO PLEASE SOME DOUCHE ASS BITCH of a man that's sexist and a total f*ck :) :) :)

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  • Fuck. No.
    I remember that guy, he was being completely disgusting, talking about our choices etc and that him being not being a virgin is allowed but not us etc. A preference is one thing, saying we're like sub-human is horrible.

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  • Whoever you talked to is a gender biased jerk. He's going along with societal norms which is horsesh! t. Women have LONG been sexually suppressed and it's time for it to stop. What is good for the gander is good the goose too.

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  • That's not true. That guy's full of himself.

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  • Generally only insecure guys think that way. They are terrified of being compared. Find a girl you have a connection with, enjoy being with and don't focus on what may or may not have happened before you two met.

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  • No thats crazy! Sex means nothing.

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  • Most men aren't like that.

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  • I hold the same (or very similar) standards to men as I do myself. If I don't like my man having a long list of partners, then I sure as better not have a long list of partners.

    If they expect something of me, then I expect the same (or very similar) of them... In the case of sexual partners, If he expects me to be a virgin, then he better not have slept around and had multiple partners; he doesn't necessarily have to be a virgin, but he can't be a downright hypocrite.

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