Moving in with the boyfriend and how to avoid bodily functions in front of him?

So I recently moved in with my boyfriend of two years and I'm super excited that we are taking this step to strengthen our relationship! :) Of course we considered all the pros and cons and planned this for a few months and now it's finally all coming together. We have so many things planned that we would like to do together (watching movies, going on road trips, attending concerts, etc.) but I'm nervous about one thing. With this added close proximity and shared spaces, it'll be pretty hard to keep him from knowing/hearing bodily functions. I know this sounds super silly but in all the time we've know each other (2 years) he's NEVER heard me do anything unladylike or anything that would be considered "embarrassing." I just don't want him knowing any of these things happen and I need some tips on how to avoid potentially embarrassing moments. I wouldn't intentionally do anything like that in front of him but I'm worried it might happen accidentally and then I'd be mortified!! Although we are very open and honest with each other, this is not something I can ever imagine him witnessing, lol. We have a very teasing/playful relationship so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't hear the end of it and he'd probably poke fun at me long after the fact lol :P Have you ever worried about this happening in your relationship? Am I just stressing over nothing? What is the best way to avoid potentially embarrassing moments? Please share your own experiences or something that will make me less worried about all this. Thanks in advance for answering my question! :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey come on now , bodily function is inevitable , we all do it and in all honesty your just not going to be able to get around him knowing it. Maybe this to is something that you two should discuss. Tell him that you are uncomfortable that something may happen and your not good with that. Don't be surprised or offended that he may bust out laughing. Most guys aren't hard wired to be conciounce of these things , such as passing gas ; we don't intentionally toot out own horn ( pardon the pun) but it happens. While I'm not saying be a poot popper for the heck of it , just rest assured that it won't be the end all if it happens , he will be like the rest of us and make a joke of it

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    • Thanks for answering :) I really appreciate that guys make light of these situations but I just don't want him to start thinking of me as "one of the guys" lol :) He's one of those super clean, OCD, very classy types so I feel that I should live up to his standards. That's part of the reason I feel self-conscious about the whole idea if anything were to happen. Plus I have no idea how to bring it up, lol. I can't just tell him "I'm worried that you might hear me being human" ahaha :) It's just awkward all around lol. If the situation was reversed and your girlfriend did something by accident, would it be funny or a complete turn off?

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    • From what I've gathered (from you and everyone else) I think people are saying that I should continue to avoid those things but shouldn't beat myself up about it if does happen accidentally lol. I know it's inevitable and there will come a time when I slip up but at least we'll keep the romance alive as long as possible. I'll never be the type to do it shamelessly so I'm sure my boyfriend will realize that there's only so much a person can do to avoid it. Thanks again and I think it's better to focus on all our plans that we're looking forward to!! :) I'm putting it out of my mind lol

    • There ya go , a positive mind set is always important

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're stressing over nothing. In fact, even he is probably a little worried about controlling himself in front of you. Keep in mind your bodily functions like farting and taking a shit are normal and quite necessary. If you have to do it in front of him, do it. He should understand since you've been together long enough and he also has to do the same things. You should be able to feel comfortable with these functions in front of him if you guys see a future together.

    Story to make you feel better: Well I've never really been in a relationship but I've had my fair share of moments that people would find disturbing ad awkward lol. So I have ulcerative colitis which is a chronic autoimmune disorder (so basically, it'll NEVER go away) where my colon get all inflated and irritated with ulers and blood, you know all that fun stuff lol. That also makes bowel movements harder to control and more frequent. Thus I carry an extra pair of pants and underwear in my purse or backpack where ever I go. People often see the extra clothes and ask me why the hell I need them. I explain my disease shamelessly. It's poop. It's taboo. People don't like to talk about it. But it's natural and it's not my fault I have to deal with it. And it is certainly not something I should feel ashamed about. That's why I think you and your SO should be cool with the idea you have bodily functions. They are normal and you can't avoid them. DON'T BE EMBARRASSED! If I can tell people about my problem shamelessly, you can have bodily functions in front of your boyfriend shamelessly (especially since he should be more understanding than the random people who ask me about my extra pants).

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    • Thank you so much for making me feel better! :) I really appreciate your honesty and you seem like such an amazing person for sharing your story. I think I'll always try my VERY best to avoid it but I guess eventually accidents happen and if it does I'll have to deal with it then lol :) The only thing is that (I hate to say it) I feel he puts me on a pedestal sometimes. Like he always compliments me and says very sweet things about how attracted he is to me and I worry that when/if he witnesses that then the attraction he feels for me will fizzle out. I just always wanna be the girl he's attracted to both emotionally and physically. It sounds silly because we've literally supported each other during really difficult times but this boundary is a little more awkward to cross lol. I guess worrying about it won't change anything so I'll just take it one day at a time and hope it doesn't happen :) Thanks again for your amazing advice!! :)

    • Yeah you don't need to like full blown go to his house and blow up his toilet right now haha but just slowly work towards feeling more comfortable. I'm sure he'll understand though, I don't think it's possible he's never considered the fact that girls have to shit and fart. If he is turned off by it, he's in for a very lonely life because he will never find a girl who doesn't have bodily functions lol. I don't know why, I think about it like a dog. People love their dogs. Dogs poop and pee and fart and vomit and give literally no shits about it and people still love their dogs. I don't see why it should be any different for humans lol. In fact it should be easier since at least we don't have to clean up after eachother.

What Guys Said 11

  • "I just don't want him knowing any of these things happen" If they didn't, then you would be several tons of backed up shit. I think he knows they happen.

    The smell of pooping is the only thing that really makes sense to worry about. It can be embarrassing, even if natural.

    But peeing is absolutely no big deal. Really. You too are going to see each other that way sometimes, and it would actually be discomforting if you made a big deal out of it. Besides, you are sitting and he cannot see anything anyway.

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  • Have well insulated doors in your place? separate bathrooms?

    As a comment, a married friend said he watched his wife have a cesarian section and watched the baby be removed from her. That is kinda personal as well. Realize stuff is gonna be exposed, but I think it is good to try and keep that stuff private like you are. good luck!

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  • Lol if you're cohabiting... he's gonna see you pee, poop, fart , burp... all that stuff. Privacy will be gone!!! Accept it. And when you do, that will strengthen your relationship

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    • Not going to happen lol. It is possible to avoid that as much as humanly possible lol

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    • Hey, if that works for you, cool. I just don't think that's necessary. Nothing is that important that it can't wait a minute.

      We're not having kids.

    • @ as disgusting as this sounds guys but being able to accept hearing/seeing/smelling your partner do their business the rare time is kind of a good thing because it will bring you and your partner closer. As both of you will accept it. Pretending or hiding the fact you piss and poop in the bathroom shows your not really that close with that person.
      This is coming from a guy whos a clean freak.

  • Making yourself vulnerable in front of your partner is the real essence of relationships.

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    • Never thought of it that way. Have you ever been really embarrassed in front of someone and didn't know how to react? :)

    • Yea, I get flustered back then but when I think of good moments , those are the memories that come to mind.

    • Yeah, I guess the memorable moments stand out more than the embarrassing ones :) That's a good point :)

  • If something that small bothers you, perhaps y'all aren't ready.

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  • You're human, give yourself wiggle room, he won't think any less of you, lol.

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    • If a girl did that in front of you (on accident) would you think any less of her? Lol

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    • Lol, everybody poops, everybody farts, everybody pees and burps. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, he knows and accepts these facts.

    • He just seems so perfect all the time, lol :) You'd think after two years we'd be over the "honeymoon" stage but apparently not. Plus, he's such a classy guy and I wanna live up to that standard too ahaaha. But your advice definitely helped so I appreciate that :)

  • Continue to make an effort but don't obsess about it. Not farting right next to someone is just good manners and if your bathroom/toilet has a window, use it. I hate it when someone takes a dump and then doesn't even open the window.

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  • congrats on moving in with your boyfriend. i just moved in with my boyfriend recently

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    • Thanks! Congrats to you too! :)

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    • Aww, that's so cute :) My boyfriend suggested that I move in because I was already spending the majority of my time there anyway lol :P It's interesting though because he was very excited at first and I was a little reluctant but now the roles have reversed, lol :) Not that he's not excited anymore but just that he's considering the technicalities now (how we're moving all my stuff, what things are missing etc.) I wish us both the best of luck ahaha! :)

    • i wish you the best luck to xD

  • yh i understand your concerns :). Me hearing a girl go for a piss wouldn't bother any guy i think. Me hearing a girl taking a shit wouldn't bother me, because i go for a shit.
    Listen, if he hears or makes fun of the 'unlady' stuff you do, make fun of the un manly things he does and his bodily functions.
    Doing a smelly shit, or going for a piss doesn't make you any less lady like

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    • Lol :) We're in the same ship though. He has NEVER done anything in front of me either in all the time we've dated and it seems like he just doesn't have any human moments lol. I don't know. It just makes it hard to let down my guard because though I'm not a fan of any of it, I would feel less self-conscious if he wasn't such a put together person. Guys are usually pretty relaxed about stuff like that but I just don't know how he maintains such composure all the time ahaha :) Wish I could be more like him

    • as nasty as it sounds, it will make you feel closer and more accepting of each other :)

  • well once you get used to being with someone, you won't be afraid anymore

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  • It's a good thought. I think you can lose some of the spark in a relationship when you start getting "too" real around each other. So just try to keep that kind of thing to a minimum I guess! lol!

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    • Agreed! Lol :) I don't understand when people say it's perfectly normal. Just because it's normal doesn't mean their partner should witness it

    • Honestly, I felt like after living together a while and really seeing the human side of one another made us closer as a couple..

      Obviously we still do our private business in private (I will never understand couples that do the open door thing -gross) but we hear it sometimes. We smell it sometimes. We joke about it. We acknowledge that we both poop. We see each other's hair in the drain and witness each other's somewhat gross home habits.

    • Yeah. Ideally I'd like to have a place with 2 bathrooms so we could avoid that altogether! lol!

What Girls Said 10

  • Haha you'll get over that pretty quickly once you've been living together a while...

    We do put some effort into keeping that stuff private but neither of us give a shit (ba dum tss!) When we do over hear it, or if we walk into the room and can tell the other one farted. It just happens. It's no big deal. And living together you just gotta learn to accept it!

    We have 3 bathrooms in our house so I generally will go upstairs to the master to drop a deuce if we are hanging out down stairs, for example. And I generally will try not to fart when he's right next to me but it's also not the end of the world if some accidentally slips out.

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    • Oh no, you should be letting those fly right next to him! I'll bet he does when your next to him

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    • After that, a normal poop was nothing lol

  • Even if it's not "unlady-like" they're human functions. If you have to fart then let it out. If you need to use the bathroom and its obvious by sound then it's just how it is. Don't be afraid to be yourself, bodily functions included.

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  • Congrats, sweetie, With the New step.
    Don't panac. I have moved in with many a guy, And Try... Not to let wind escape me. This is the one thing I always make sure never happens.
    however, I have had a Husband out in Egypt, Who made sure when we first met up and lived togwehter before tying th eknot on the second trip, That he saw me... Drip.. Pee, tha tis.
    I just got used to it after awhile, It became Second nature to him Hearing me use the WC, And in going in the shower with me and washing me all over, Including the back of my butt, Which I never like anyone doing, I never thought anything about it.
    For now, Just to ease into this new Adjustment, Put the sink water on as you urinate or poop, And after some Time, You will not give this any Mind.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I suggest that you let go of this mindset. We are all human and as humans we have bodies that are going to make sounds & stuff. Simply remind yourself that everybody poops. EVERYBODY!

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  • If you live together, you should feel comfortable enough to let go like that

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  • Honey, you have nothing to be embarrassed of. He knows you fart. He knows you shit. It's going to happen sooner or later. The only reason he might poke fun at you would be because he knows it would bother you. Solution: don't let it bother you.

    I've lived with previous boyfriends and I have never really been concerned about this kind of thing.

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  • Uh if your scared to do NORMAL things that everyone does in front of him or even with him in the vicinity. Then i don't think your even ready to move in together.

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    • I'm comfortable doing everything else around him (feeling vulnerable, crying, confiding in him when I have upsetting days/problems etc.) :)

  • Honestly, if you're planning on being with him long-term, he's going to have to be exposed to it sooner or later. It's nothing to be super concerned about though.

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  • Want to avoid that?
    Do not move in with him
    You are human

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  • why are you moving in with someone if you aren't comfortable doing natural things around him

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    • I don't think moving in with someone means you can do absolutely anything in front of them. I still think there should be attraction and that's hard to maintain if he witnesses that. I know everyone does these things but I just feel it should happen privately. I'm moving in with him because we love each other and obviously I want to spend the rest of my life with him :) Maybe I'll get over it with time but I just don't think that'll happen any time soon ahaha :)

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    • lmao okay

    • Hey, thanks for the advice though lol :)

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