Girls, why does a guy have to know you in order to get to know you?

I recently asked out a girl, who I had seen several times at my college library but had never talked to before. She rejected me and told me she doesn't know me therefore won't go out with me.

It doesn't make much sense to me. Because when you ask someone out you dont do it to get intimate, cuddle, make out etc you do it so you can talk and exchange stories. The purpose of the date is to get to know one another.

So why do I have to know her before I can take her out and get to know her?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • omg do you hear yourself... so alright lets say i was that girl as example, so i have seen you around college but i don't have a clue who you are... your just an another guy walking around college no big deal, but then you ask me out and to me that will seem weird to me because the only thing you know about me is that i go to this college and how i look, now i will most likely think you think i am attractive or pretty because you did not even bother to get to know my personality first my the way i looked was enough for you to even ask me out , without knowing me and i wouldn't know if you are a creep or any other bad because i know nothing about you besides it would easy for me to think you could easily like or chase other girls because you just because you happened to like the way they looked
    ... BOY there is more then meets the eye, just think about it, also it might seem scary but why dont you just start as friends?

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    • I think you misunderstood me.

      First off, I didn't just go up her and say "Hi can I how your number". I talked to her asked her what she studies, how finals prep is going and so on.

      Second of all when I asked her for a date, I do mean that we go as friends and ask each other questions and converse, nothing intimate, like I said. The only reason I call it a date is because you want to make your intentions clear from the beginning so you dont move towards the friendzone. The whole purpose of the date is for me to get to know her personality.

      And third, everyone starts of as strangers. You can't sit around and wait for things to happen to you like in romantic movies. If you see a person you find attractive and you'll probably never see that person again, why wouldn't you take the chance?

Most Helpful Guy

  • what she said was code word for " i dont find you attractive" if you're attractive you get away with shit like that, also try chatting online first i've noticed girls talk a lot but when its time to do they are too much cowards and would rather know the guy 100% so i dont bother unless i know her through someone.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm kinda the same way but that's because I don't like going on dates with strangers. It's awkward af, I'd rather get to know that person as a friend first (not friend zoning) so I can be at ease and comfortable enough to be myself and then escalate things further from that point.

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    • But dont you think that restricting yourself to only guys you are friends with and already know sort of limits your choices. What if you meet a guy once and think he's cute and if you dont get his number you won't see him again, isn't it worth taking the chance?

    • Yeah, you do bring up a good point. I'm normally very quiet and reserved and I get very uncomfortable around people I don't know. If I met a guy and I thought he was cute, I don't know if I would be able to go on some kind of formal date. I guess I'll have to take more risks.

  • Look, maybe she finds you attractive, and a lot of girls think that but what also goes on in their mind is... "I don't even know him. I don't want my friends to know I said yes to this guy I've never talked to." Just randomly start talking to her but before you walk over to her like have something to talk about. Get to know each other then ask if she wants to hang out some time. It doesn't have to be a date but when she see's how much FUN you are she'll maybe want to "hang" out with you more. And if so ask if she wants to go out on a date. It should work.

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  • She's probably shy and uncomfortable... she'd rather get to know you on a friend level first? I'm not sure, it is best to ask her.

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  • That's not the case for every girl.

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What Guys Said 1

  • She needs to know about you. You need to give her some way to check you out socially. Someone who knows you both so she can find out what you are like.

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