Lovely first date... just concerned about him only being single for 5 months from an abusive relationship?

It was probably one of the better and longer (6 1/2 hours) dates I've ever been on. I didn't want to leave and neither did he. We started out with dinner. He paid, as he believes in being chivalrous. Then, we rode to a lake festival that was nearby and sat on the water for an hour or so, talking and laughing, waiting on the fireworks show. After the show, we rode to Sonic and I bought us a both a slushy, to which he protested at first, and we sat and talked for several more hours.

I feel like we just jived. One thing really concerns me though. During dinner, we were talking about careers and I brought up going into forensic psychology one day and testifying on the stand to one's sanity as something I really wanted to do. He dropped the bombshell that his ex was schizophrenic and it was a crazy relationship. I think he was just making that commonality between us. I told him that I understood and I had a crazy ex. However, I know that it could truly mean that he's not over it enough to be dating.

Late in the evening, we got off on exes again, as it just felt like we were best friends talking. I found out that she came at him with a knife. I asked if she hit him and he said yes, he just brushed it off. I was really appalled at what he put up with. I told him he didn't deserve that. I could really tell that he thought he could fix her at the time, but finally realized he couldn't.

Then, I gave him advice: you will only begin to attract and appreciate the right kind of people once you are healed and know you deserve better.

I've been single for 4 years after my crazy ex and it took therapy to make me examine why I chose men like that and to get to where I am today: a strong woman.

I'm just concerned that he's only been single for 5 months from a 6 year, abusive relationship. Should I approach him with my concern or just approach our future dates with caution? I know I can't fix him and I'm concerned that he's not fixed from being attracted to those kind of women.


Most Helpful Guy

  • how long should he be single for? i believe it takes the same amount of time to get over someone you were in love w/ despite how long the relationship was.

    love is love right? none greater than any other.

    • So, you're saying that he's the only judge of that and it's a good possibility he's over it?

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    • Truthfully, though, how would you feel if a woman brought up her schizophrenic ex on a first date?

    • stop. worry about what's worth worrying about.

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