Lame, question I know, but I've lately come to terms with the fact that there is something wrong with me. Like, I have absolutely no interest in dating guys, and I'm ok with being alone for the rest of my life with no experience. The other part of me doesn't want that but all I see people doing is going to parties and becoming alcoholics and drug addicts. And all the guys that I'm attracted to do this! And people who drink excessively repulse me and I actually get physically ill. I don't know why I link guys with just being stupid drunks, but that's usually all I see (I am in college, but it's like EVERY guy). That and the fact of dating terrifies me so much that if I actually think about being in a relationship and being extremely social (I'm a bit of a hermit.) actually gives me a panic attack and I almost throw up. I don't know what to do to stop being like this and I was wondering if anyone could help me?! Please!
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Haha, where was a girl like you first year? I too was the aforementioned hermit, at least in my first year of University. I didn't make too many friends and definitely didn't really embrace the college experience until second year. Everyone's entitled to be an idiot if they so choose, and if it's really a turn off just don't associate with them. Don't bash them or anything, you have to respect the choices that other people make (with the exception of extreme ones obviously) but it's definitely not something you should waste your time dwelling on.
This may come off as insulting but please take it in stride, after all I'm just some random person on the internet. Having such an attitude towards those who party excessively is very immature. I was like that first year, I thought of such people as beneath me, but to be honest I was the immature one and some of my friends who are complete druggies and drunks are among the most intelligent people I know, when sober. There are so many people in the world and you're not going to get along with all of them.
Although this may sound contradictory, what you have said also sounds very mature in the sense that you recognize where to draw the line. There are very few 4th year students constantly partying; you grow up. By about 3rd year you have a general idea of what you want to do, you have responsibilities, and you're actively seeking extra-curriculars to gain experience for your resume, you just don't have the time to f*** around as much as you used to. Sounds like you've already outgrown that whole 'stupid college kid' phase full of rash decision-making and you should be proud.
The point is, don't generalize. Not everyone is like that. When I started dating I would always pick up girls at parties, many of the relationships were doomed from the start and usually ended up with me being the asshole for calling it off because they just ended up being party floozies. After a while I stopped picking up at parties, I met girls in the library, during class, at the gym, etc. Hell, I even met a girl who was doing door-to-door charity work and we ended up dating. These relationships tended to last longer because these girls lead a more balanced lifestyle.
My advice? It's no secret that women mature faster than men but you just might be mingling with the wrong crowd, perhaps you need an older guy who is better able to manage his life. I can assure you, not all guys are 'idiots' like the ones you described. With respect to the anxiety, if you can't explain what causes it you might want to seek counseling. There's no shame in it, it's completely discreet, and most universities offer such a service for free. For all you know it could be a disorder and you're genetically pre-disposed, or even just an occurrence of one; don't consider yourself weird. In my second year I had bouts of depression, anxiety and insomnia, I probably should have gone to counseling, but with time I got over it.1