I think I love my friend, but he hasn't dated for years, and truthfully I don't know if I should ask him out. Can I get some advice?

Like I said, I think I'm in love with one of my friends. He's single, and has been for nearly 8 years now (Since he was in 9th grade from what I understand) because he spends all of his free time with his best friend, a blood cancer patient.

He has never directly said it, but I'm pretty sure that he has chosen to be alone so he can be there for his friend. He's the best person I know, and I know that he's always going to put his friend before himself. It's because of that that I worry about asking him out. I want to be there for him, and I'm ok with him not having a lot of time for me, but I really have to wonder if he would even give us a chance.

Please, if you have any thoughts, I could really use some advice.


1|0
4|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm kind of torn on this one. I understand him, wanting to be there for his friend what you should probably do is find a way to integrate yourself in that manner, sure ask him out, but don't take away from his friend. That's the worst thing you could possibly do. If you really love him and he really likes you or love you. It may work. But he may not have a lot of time for you. I wouldn't expect that anyway.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • This Sticky Situation could get quite Intricate and Complicated, And it is almost like a Man or a Woman who is single and who have baggage that will Always... Be there for them First.
    For now, Be there for him. Be supportive, But do not Put your own Heart on your Sleeve. This way you are not in for a let down.
    It seems to me he is in a Set lifestyle, Has a Set pattern of what he is used to now, And any change could be Not in his Best Interest or Yours, So go Slow with Joe and just feel it out and let God lead you in the Direction that may be right for you, Whether it is him in the End or Another... Friend.
    Good luck and my blessings to both of you. xx

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • Why not try it? Special guy that is that dedicated to his friend, I'm sure you appreciate that and would hope he'd bring that into a relationship.

    Easiest thing to do is tag along with him when he visits his friend. Or talk to him, or talk about that and go from there. What do you have to lose? nothing...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just start talking with him and ask him out for a coffee or something and go from there.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I admire people who are there for their friends, especially when those friends are in need. At the same time, I kind of wonder about a guy that doesn't date, and spends all his time with a friend. Could he be gay?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should be honest with him. I found out years later that a couple of my female friends liked me but didn't tell me because they thought I wouldn't like them. Likewise I liked them but was afraid to tell them because I was afraid they didn't like me. What I regret the most is not taking enough chances in my earlier years.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't do it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Tell his best friend and let him give you his blessing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh come-on just ask him out

    0|0
    0|0
  • just do it. don't waste time, like i did.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see why you wouldn't ask him out...
    Even if your assumptions, that he's been single for a while by choice and because he wants to be there for his friend, are true, you said it wouldn't bother you. So there doesn't really seem to be much to lose here.

    If he feels the same about you and there are no other reasons from his end that would prevent him from giving it a shot, go for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you really think you can handle it, then I would say go for it. But be prepared he might say no, FOR YOU as well, in that he won't think he'd be a good enough boyfriend for you since he doesn't have the time. If you really want to, make it clear to him that you fully understand his commitment to his friend, but you want to be with him anyways and hope that he would consider this, and if you mean it, also let him know that you'd be more than happy to meet his sick friend as well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You need someone else

    2|0
    0|0
Loading...