After how many rejections can you be sure it's you?

Everyone gets rejected but sometimes it has nothing to do with you. You could forexample be asking at a very bad time or they could be in a bad mood etc.
Sometimes you're just unlucky.

But after how many rejections can you say there's something wrong with you and that you're just not good enough. Forexample if you ask out a 1000 girls and they all say no to you then thats a clear cut indication that you're just not attractive to the majority of woman.

I have aksed out and been rejected by 8 girls, I am 0 for 8. 4 of them had boyfriend so I dont know if I should count them (unless they are lying of course).
I am starting to think its just me not going good enough, certainly if I end 0 for 50 I would know for a fact I am not good enough. An attractive person would not get rejected 50 times in a row, that just doesn't happen.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • what @cth96190 said is excellent advice for checking whether the rejections are about you or not, but there may be a better way than playing the numbers. Do you like yourself, and are you happy with yourself overall, meaning that there are only small things you would change about yourself?

    If you are, great - play the numbers and sooner or later, you will find a great girl for sure. You might still benefit from practicing some skills like how to have a good conversation and really take an interest in people, or trying out a new look if what you like is maybe vastly different from the generally accepted fashion in clothes/hairstyle/personal grooming. If you aren't - it would really speed things up if you worked on yourself to the point where you can answer that question with a yes.

    If you want to succeed a bit more on a more superficial level, I would add that some of the social habits / behaviours the successful "bad boys" exhibit can be learned. Most of all, exhibiting self-confidence is attractive, as is being a good conversationalist. Not taking yourself too seriously and being somewhat easy-going are also fairly attractive traits. There are good books and guides out there that can teach a lot about the social graces.

    Being happy with who you are and how you look are still really the most important and most attractive qualities to have for being happy. When you are fully happy with yourself and like yourself as a person, other people take notice of it and it is a very attractive quality in both men and women.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Without exaggeration, I would say that when I was your age my rejection rate was at least 99 to one.
    There was nothing 'wrong' with me, although I have always been introverted and lacked social skills. Overall, I had a lot to offer, but it was not what the girls wanted.
    At that age, they wanted players and some version of the sociopathic bad boy. Dirtbags and heartbreakers make their panties wet, when they are young. They thrive on the emotional rollercoaster and living in their own personal soap opera.
    What I would suggest that you do is observe the sort of male who does find favour with the females who reject you. Make a list of the differences between yourself and those males. What you will create is a profile of demonstrated group preference. Then compare that demonstrated preference against what you have to offer. What I expect you to find is that you do not fit that profile. That does not mean that there is anything 'wrong' with you.
    What I found was that as the females approached the age of 30 their preference in men began to change. Most of them moved from wanting players and bad boys to the sort of man who was not 'fun' enough for them when they were 20.
    It has been said that when a woman is 38 she will kill for the type of man she rejected when she was 18. What a difference a couple of decades of life experience makes. It is a great pity that so many women throw away their years of peak beauty and fertility by being fixated on scumbags and losers, but that is how it is.
    None of that knowledge will fill your empty heart at this time. I know what that pain feels like.
    If you wish to continue to be interested in females, the only rational course of action is to play the numbers. Keep on asking until you get a yes.
    If you continue to be interested in females, you will find that after 30 the situation will begin to change and by age 35 the women will probably be hitting on you, rather than the other way around. That was what happened to me.

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    • I think this is really good advice from cth96190.

      I especially like the advice to study men that are successful with women. This will give more helpful information than figuring out why a woman rejects you.

      He is also correct that women are bad decisions makers when it comes to men when they are young. They do get better with age but that is at least a decade away for you.

      I will say, that you even ask girls out is a huge plus. Keep asking if you can. Your guy friends wish that they could be more like you in that aspect and as for women, not all women that age are bad decision makers. Though, I do want to say, most probably are. lol!

      Good luck to ya'.

    • By the time they're that old...

      They already have two kids...

      So what's the point?

      Look at the guys on this site that are successful...

      @ConsultantIsBack is not a douchebag...

      I would say just don't be a pussy and maybe hit the gym... Don't care so much about pussy.

      Have you ever spent months trying to get laid only to do it and be like, "it wasn't worth all this mental anguish," especially when you're fucking them and you almost feel like they should be paying you by the hour?

    • @HelloEveryone123456
      Being in shape is always a good thing, but the sad reality is that the majority of young females are drawn (as moths to a flame) to POS losers until they are around the age of 30. That is just how it is.
      Yes, by that time they may have a couple of mini me versions of Mr Harley MacBadBoy or Iva Necktattoo snapping at their ankles. Pass on those ones. There are plenty of others who do not come with a ready-made family and the bad boy baby daddy lurking in the background.
      I would like to add that becoming a serious student of a martial art would also help, in terms of fitness, confidence and broadening one's outlook. It is also a good way to meet a better class of person.
      I am a serious student of Shotokan karate, as taught by the Japan Karate Association.
      One of the things that serious students notice is that the scumbags tend to stay away from us. On some sort of instinctive level, they seem to sense that poking this bear with a stick would not be a good idea.

What Girls Said 6

  • approximately 18 rejections according to my calculations

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  • I've been rejected by 5 guys and it didn't feel good at all, however the 6th try was a success. I'm in a relationship with a really nice guy ^-^

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  • It is you. That's a fact. But you don't need a billion girls to say yes. You need 1

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    • Why on earth would he want only 1?

    • Those are still some pretty bad odds. If there's one girl among a billion thats going to accept you. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.
      Might never happen.

  • Zero😊

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  • I've never asked a guy out so zero rejections for me lol (: jk

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  • So far I've been rejected twice and both times I blamed myself.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'd bet you have no training, minimal education on women, and you are not very confident in yourself. There's a lot of good points below.

    This stuff can all be learned and you'll see your success rate go to 40% easily. I studied players and how they are successful and referenced that back to the Bible (my value system), that's all you need to know to unlock the mystery. Tons of videos online on this, and books. You do not have to be a "bad boy", what you have to be is:
    * Possess and convey self confidence. That means if you have emotional wounds, get them worked out and healed. This is what girls see in bad boys.
    *
    * Get educated on how women think, I've posted stuff here and to others on that. If need it, I'll dig it up. A little of that below.
    * Gym - forget about benchpressing or squating more. If it helps your self confidence, fantastic and you enjoy it, great. But girls don't care.
    * Learn to play with them verbally. They are emotional in nature and you will bore them stiff with your logic. They want emotional stories, and ideas, fun.
    * You must show your intent with them in how you interact with them. Intent is like a lion looking at a gazelle... that is some intent! You don't want to scare her, but this is also what bad boys are doing... saying "I want to bang the stuffing out of you..." with their presence.
    * NOT NEEDY: Critical that you are 100% awsome by yourself. You have fun on your own without her and you don't need her. But you welcome her into your fund and awsome world... that's what she wants. She wants energy and leadership from you to a better place. Girls can't stand it when you are needy... you will be friendzoned fast.
    * Socially accepted. the more girls you have responding to you, the more other girls want you, its just how it is. So if you can convince a girls friends you are cool, she is going to like you.

    Women are asking teh question... do I want to mate with this guy (sub conscious)?: They want to see emotional connection... that you desire them, and that they are secure. That is what you need to convey... you are secure with me, and I desire you. not in your words, but in everything about you.

    Watch players, thats what they do. You don't have to be a player and use and abuse girls. The skills though, are right on.

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    • One other point in conversation, offer her something of value from you. e. g. if you can share stores about memories, trips, those are fun. If you are smart enough to help her in her life, that helps. You want to give her something in exchange for her affection in my opinion. Not all guys think that way or have to do that... it may just be physical that she wants and what he wants to give.

  • Ok. Let's assume that it is you. Then do you give up? No. You change and improve yourself, and, one day will be your day. But if you give up and become one of these bitter guys on here and just bitch and complain, then no day will ever be your day. Don't give up. Change does make a difference.

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  • First off, im going to stick to you saying "rejection does happen...".
    secondly, I will say "your game is not on point"..
    thirdly, i'd say "you need work... message me and i will pass on the knowledge"...

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  • You're most likely approaching with this pick up artist shit in your head. In person approaches are a bit different than my tinder stuff but you are never going to play out like that if you are trying act like something you are not. Girls can sense that vibe immediately and appreciate sincerity and you being genuine. PUA is a complete joke. I think you need to start looking at women as people rather than these distant creatures that you constantly have to impress. Who cares if they have a pussy dude? Take them off the pedestal and treat them like equals. Give you credit for approaching though boyo.. a lot of guys don't have the balls to what you are doing.

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  • this reminds me of a dude in my collage classes who isn't the best looking but he isn't ugly but he also is kinda chubby id rate him 6/10 average and he goes up to girls that are Beautiful to me and im gay and when he gets rejected every time he looks so confused as if he is the perfect cut of meat. his personality is pretty bad and he also isn't the smarted person and i tell him if he wants a girl like that he should hit of the gym. looked at me an said im not fat i got more muscle than most. xD

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  • been there, done that.. got the tshirt, shorts, socks. and Im 40. You just keep on plugging and hoping and praying someone will say yes. I am at the stage where I will marry my job.

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  • There is no magical number and it's usually not you. It's your choice of women that needs to change.

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  • Nah, every rejection is on you. Take responsibility.

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  • 6 rejections.

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  • The more you play the more rejections that you will rack up. If you don't try you won't get the girl either... So get out there and fuck little care about the ones you don't get. Enjoy the ones that enjoy you. They're out there... Go get um.

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  • I had two but nope not me

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  • I'd say by 0 for 8 it might be time to review what you have been doing and not doing when approaching these girls. most singles girls tend to want to be seeing someone so if there rejecting you I would agree there could be areas that need fixing or better ways to approach them

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    • If it can be fixed. If I dont look like the ideal man they want there's nothing I can do. Approach can be changed, looks can't.
      As for as approach I dont know what I would change. Its usually just small talk then ask to hang out, I dont see anything outrageous about that.

    • its tough to say what's not working without seeing you actually talk to girls or have a good feel for what kinds of girls your going after. there is always things that can be improved on

  • Its because you didn't look good enough for them. Don't let anyone on here lie to you. When was the last time a woman even told you that they are rejecting you because of how you approached them, or because you didn't show enough confidence?

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  • Once you get rejected a couple of times your chances of finding a partner decrease exponentially as well as the desperation you reek of sky rockets to girls and others, sure getting rejected builds confidence yadadada but in the end of the day you are still rejected and that other guy who's exciting or dangerous or mysterious is gonna be sticking his cock into your crush and then maybe if you do get a great job etc when you are in your 30s just maybe she will settle down with you and you will be expected to provide for Her and if she does have any kids, take care of that extra baggage from banging the other guy. Good luck son.

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