Was this the right thing to do?

A year ago I went on a couple dates with a girl who was texting me for around 3 months every day. I became too busy for her, because of the financial burden of starting my own contracting company. So I started planning half-assed dates. I guess she didn't like it, because she stopped responding to my texts.

Now 2 months ago I was asked to renovate a place by her work. So one day I came to her work to say hello, and she started acting annoyed. So I left. The next day I had dinner alone by her work, and she saw me and sat with me and talked. She was friendly and started kissing my ass. She told me how her grandmother had a heart attack. Then when I was done work she walked me to my work truck. Next day I saw her at coffee shop. So I asked her how her grandmother was, and she shrugged and said "She is old." Then went back to texting. So I just walked away. One day I was getting equipment from my truck, and saw her with another woman. She gestured to me with her head, and the other girl looked at me, and giggled while saying "he's looking at you!"

Now a week ago she waited for me after work, and brought me coffee. Then walked me to my truck. She was kissing my ass again, and I stopped her and said "Look, I can't have you talking to me anymore. Somedays you're extremely warm to me, and other days you act as though I am bothering or harassing you. Last week I saw you point me out to your friends, and then they started laughing at me. This isn't the first time I have seen this either. Whatever you are saying about me is neither flatter, nor nice. So I just want you to back off." Was this the right thing to do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you overreacted a little. I mean, what if she likes you and she told her friend to check your reaction? Maybe it was the right thing to do, but there is also a possibility of you wrecking your chances with her.

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    • why was she so hot and cold then?

    • Sometimes people get shy.

What Guys Said 2

  • Not really the right thing to do. You should always assume that people's motivations are pure until you know otherwise. Instead of assuming you knew her motivation, and getting hostile, you should have said the same thing in the form of a question. "I'm confused. Somedays you're extremely warm. and other days... What's up with that?"

    Your assumption that they were laughing at you is probably 100% wrong. The woman was obviously interested in you, she made a point of coming to talk with you. Maybe she was just having fun with you, but very few people would do that.

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  • Kind sounds like you were walking on egg shells, around her. Inappropriate? No, the tone is where it gets iffy.

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