Would You Rather-- Be Rejected Because of Something You CAN or CANNOT Control?

Some people say that being rejected based off something they can't control is better because at least they know that it was nothing on their end that they could have done, while others argue that they'd prefer it be something they CAN control so that they can improve for the future.

Which do you prefer, and why?

  • Something I CAN Control (weight/body type, financial situation, dress, attitude)
    53% (26)72% (41)63% (67)Vote
  • Something I CANNOT Control (race, height, background, etc.)
    47% (23)28% (16)37% (39)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't answer from the prompt because in reality rejection is still rejection and in no way dose it feel good or acceptable. Now your question dose spark debate though on the one hand you have something hat can be changed, that being said if someone did judge you on " weight/body type, financial situation, dress, attitude" so much so that they left why would you want someone like that in your life to begin with and the same goes for " race, height, background, etc." It's still blind judgement and still just as crappy. The only difference is that one can be changed with time and one can not, but that doesn't matter because the man or woman has already left you can't get that person back and even if you could change the issues they had and secondly even if you could would you really want someone so shallow as to judge you by superficial things. For that I'll to my hook back in the pond sort of speak and find someone who doesn't judge me like that. Well that's my two cents in it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get rejected all the time because I don't have a pretty face. It's not exactly something I can control unless I am willing to wear layers of makeup. However, makeup can only do so much and plus eventually a guy has to see me without it. I don't want a guy to just like me when my face is made up. My only other option is plastic surgery, and that costs a lot of money.

    So I'd rather be rejected for something that I can change.

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What Guys Said 22

  • If it's in my control that assumes that I'm to blame for the other person not being with me... that would not only lead to me being sad/depressed/feeling of rejection etc... but if it was something I can't control like... rejected cuz I'm afghan... i'd be like... ok bitch... k bye, I know other girls who wanna ride on my magic carpet. so fuck outta here. hahaha. And I'd move on.
    Or height: lol... ok bitch, I'll take my 5'11 and sway a girl who LOVES tall guys.

    haha long story short if you can't accept me for who I am, my background etc... then get the fuck out of here. I don't have time for YOU in the first place.

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  • cannot control because then it sort of puts the onus of blame on that person. like a girl once wouldn't consider dating me because i was 2inches shorter than her (not that i ever asked her out but she just said it).

    it pissed me off but i felt like it said more about her than it did about me

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  • doesn't matter, i've been had by both and one doesn't feel worse than the other to me.

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  • Its def worse when it's something i can't control in my opinion.

    I'm definitely in the latter camp - Something i can control gives me hope (possibly a 2nd chance) to change and get either that person or that type of person. Something i cannot control means it's game over.

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  • I don't know why people would wanna be rejected because of something they can't control. if you can change xyz about yourself, then you know you can possibly have a shot with that person. also, if you can't control it and a person rejected you for it, more people you might like will think that way and there's nothing you can do about it

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  • This is actually one of the most unique and interesting questions I have ever stumbled upon here on GAG. But quite frankly I don't have a personal answer to this one.

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  • Something I can't control sounds worse because it might be something many women might not like. I'd rather be thin guy and be rejected because let's say most women I met liked their guys to be a little muscular than to be 5'5 and constantly be rejected because most women I met wanted their man to be considerably taller than them. I could always hit the gym and get bigger, but I can't change my height.

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  • Rather A because than I can work on it... something you have to undergo gives you a much more uncomfortable feeling :-(

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  • Something I can control because I can fix it.

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  • Absolutely the Can. If I can't help it, why should I have any less opporunities for love than another person?

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  • either one really. If I did get rejected because of money, then I make it, I wouldn't want the chick anymore anyway.
    If it was for race, or height, I figure it's just preference. Can't argue with that.

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  • I don't care if I get reject for either one of them. If I get rejected for what I can't control then that is not the type of woman I'd wanna be with.

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  • Rarely someome would reject you based on one criteria that has to be just the way they like.

    Even if they say that they just date X eye color, you can make up for it with your own charms. You may be in disadvantage tho lol.

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  • Definitely can. Therefore I'm able to learn from it and work on it.

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  • i'd rather be rejected because of something i can't control

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  • Some girl had thee nerve to call me short! i am 5'10'' for christ sakes lol!

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  • Cannot.

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  • I would never reject you... for any reason.. you are too sweet.

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  • I don't get rejected

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  • I really don't have a preference for one type of rejection over the other. I guess because I don't really hold on to rejection for very long. Like I recover from break ups pretty fast. Rejection just feel like a thing that happens. Like you wouldn't even have to give me a reason. Most of the people who reject me struggle to find a clear reason anyways.

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  • It'd be nice to not be rejected for once..

    But can't control. I'm not changing who I am for one persons attention

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  • It doesn't matter. If the person doesn't accept me, the fuck her!

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What Girls Said 12

  • Pretty interesting question, but if a person really liked you they wouldn't care about the things you can change, because you can change them. Maybe not attitude, a bad one is a major turn off. But to be rejected over something you have no control over is horrible. People judge us enough for things we cannot control and have given us all a complex and self esteem issues, this just needs to stop all around.

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  • Rejected for something I can't control. It helps because I know there is absolutely no hope to be with that person. It may anger me, but it would help me move on faster.

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  • i'd rather be rejected because of something i can't control because i won't feel pressured to change myself for them. i'm content with myself so if i'm rejected based on my personality/body type/dress then he can go backflip into a sea of other hoes cuz im not interested in guys who aren't interested in me. it would make me feel self doubt which is why i picked B

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  • Something I can control.
    I used to get rejected for my weight all the time. I changed that and now I know nothing else is holding me back from dating.

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  • Well I'd rather not be rejected at all. But I certainly wouldn't wanna be rejected for something I had no control over.

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  • Good question! I would rather be rejected based on something I can control, since I can more likely turn it into a positive experience. I'm big on self improvement or self pride. I don't want to become the kinda person who defines everything that didn't work out as someone else's fault which is what may happen when you get rejected for something you can't control. And blows against insecurities you can't control can cut you deep.

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  • being rejected over something i can control would be worse... because it's like, i could have been better, i just wasn't.

    if i got rejected over something i can't control... well... then i'd feel the righteous fury lol.

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  • For something I can control so I can just be like "in your face, you weren't good enough for me to bother and change" and then move on.

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  • I actually dont know. .

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  • For something I can't control is worse imho

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  • Something I cannot control, absolutely. I would hate to miss out on the man of my dreams because I said or did something that I could've avoided, had I known it would bother him.

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    • And also, if it's something I can't control, and he can't accept it, then oh well. It's his problem, not mine.

  • For someone I can control. Then I can make changes as needed or just the same.

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