Is the age of 30 to 31 too late to start dating seriously?

I'm currently 29, and have been in relationships before. But I have been single for almost 5 years now, because I fell on hard times. I am still working on getting my shit together, and it will take a year or two. I am certainly not in a position to date or be in a relationship right now.

So if I only start dating seriously after a year or two (when I am in my early 30s), will it be too late, especially since my dating experience until now has been minimal? They do say 30s are the new 20s, especially for men, but I don't know to what extent it's true.

P. S. I can't date now even if I wanted to, because I am still figuring out my career and can't afford to pay for dates (because I know it's the man's job to pay at least for the initial dates).

Updates:
Anyone else please?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. It's not the man's job to pay. I like when men offer but don't feel comfortable having anyone pay for me. [[It's nice because it shows they want to make a good impression and br a gentleman]].

    2. Its NOT too late. -Rather you be in the right place and wait

    3. A lot of women like older men. Personally, I like men 5+ years older than myself. *shrugs* Always have, likely always will.

    4. Do what wil make YOU happy in the long run. :]

    Lol, sorry if it was long. I really hope it helps!

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    • Very reasonable and informative answer, thanks!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in a very similar situation to you a few years ago. I had just ended a very long (decade+ relationship) and part of all that happening meant I was at the lowest point in my life - house, job, everything I'd built up so far was gone.

    I was 33. All my dating experience had been in my 20s, largely picking up girls in nightclubs.

    My advice is:
    -get in shape
    -buy some nice fashionable clothes that look good on your newly in-shape self
    -get some fun hobbies that you could potentially share
    -start living an awesome and interesting life (this does not have to be expensive! You could start mountain biking or hiking, both of which are essentially free once you buy your bike/boots)
    -take pictures of yourself living that life
    -put those pictures of you looking fit and happy living your life on a dating site
    -start meeting girls

    This is basically it. There are plenty of girls out there who are in the same situation as you - either they had an LTR end, or they don't want to settle, or whatever. Many of them won't have kids, contrary to what all the alarmists will say about dating in your 30s. I had no problem find intelligent, attractive women my own age with no kids who wanted to go out on dates.

    The age old rules of not being desperate and needy apply.

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    • Thanks a lot, I appreciate your advice. Just one question though. I'm non-white, and my locality mostly consists of white people. Since white women usually don't prefer dating men outside their race (not that I'm fishing for white women), do I actually need to seek out non-white women elsewhere?

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    • Like I said, be the best you that you can be. Part of that means NOT making a big deal about race (and likewise not worrying so much about needing to be rich to get girls). Add any sort of negativity or bitterness to "don't be desperate or needy". Good luck!

    • Thanks mate! :)

What Girls Said 44

  • It's never too late. I actually think that dating is better when you're older because you've learned more about yourself and what you want. It's great that you're wanting to work on yourself, but don't tell yourself that it'll take a year or two... sometimes we create beliefs and they become our reality. It's possible to work on yourself AND meet someone. You might meet a lovely lady earlier than expected :)

    Also, it's not a man's job to pay for dates. I've paid for quite a few dates... other times the man will pay, and other times we split the bill.

    I've been single for 6 years, but I don't feel bad for it... I just haven't met the right person.

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    • Wow, thanks for the encouraging words! Yeah, I'm not closing myself to relationships, but I do not want to actively 'seek out' women until I feel completely ready for all that time and effort.



    • You're welcome :)
      I understand. Take all the time you need and jump in when it feels right. Ignore the negative people... it's better to work on yourself and learn / work towards what you want in your life. When the time's right, the right person will appear.

  • You do know some women don't need you to pay for dates in order to see you as a potential partner. If you want to try dating then do it, be honest about where you are in life and what you're looking for. Being a good boyfriend has nothing to do with how much money you spend on the woman.

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    • I agree with you, but such women are quite rare. Women usually date up, and right now I'm jobless, and am still trying to get a foothold in my career. I would never be the first choice for most, if not all women.

    • Not a lot of women actually go on regular dates. As for me, know that having a job is about opportunity, and I prefer someone with at least ambition and willing to educate themselves using any information available to them, than some douche in a high-paying job who works all the time and only values money.

    • I did have a decent job, and even a car back home, but I immigrated to a new country and am struggling to make inroads here.

  • I really don't think it's too late. It's late but not "too" late. I just think there are less people available considering a lot are in relationships at that age but it only take one person.
    I'm the living proof. My dad met my mum when he was 37 and she was 32, they got married and had two kids. I'm pretty sure he didn't had a lot of serious relationships before her so you shouldn't be worried.

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    • I agree with you, I'm just not able to get back into the dating them when I am not really in a position to dedicated the time, efforts and energy needed to find and sustain a relationship. It would be unfair for both me and the woman.

  • I'm not sure why you think it s too late? Lots of guys and girls split from their partners in their 30s and so on and they stillness of out and date. My ex was 36 and single after a bad break up and he started dating again. You don't have to stay alone because of your age, whatever your age!

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  • Pfft, there are 70 year olds getting married nowadays, 30 is by no means "too old".

    Considering that a large portion of women prefer dating older men, you'll most likely be landing women in the 20-30 range.

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    • That's a relief to know, thanks!

  • Yes, because life is over the minute you turn 30.

    Anyway, no it's not too late.

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    • Now that's funny! And thanks! :)

  • If it is too late - then what would you do for the rest of your life? honestly... no... it's not too late.

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  • my dad is single and in his 40's. No one is too old to start taking dating seriously. And whoever asks the person on the date it is their job to pay or you can just ask to split the bill

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    • Exactly, whoever asks should pay. Ad women hardly, if ever make the first move so the onus is almost always on the man to pay.

  • it's not 'too late' but it is going to get harder.

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    • Harder? Could you please elaborate? I mean... I've heard people say that it gets harder for women with age, but is it true for men as well?

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    • @timmy111 that's fine. i didn't ask people to agree with me tbh, so i respect different opinions. thanks =]

  • IT's not too late but it'll be harder to find your mate only because we want certain traits in a man that by age 30 they may no longer have. He may have kids, he may be divorced, he may be switching careers... really just depends on what you're looking for.

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    • I have never been married, and I don't have kids (although I would love to have kids with my future spouse/partner). I'm not trying to switch my career, but rather trying to resurrect a fallen one.

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    • A woman in her 30s will probably have kids. I'm 26 and I know of only 2 other girls my age who don't have a kid.

    • Yes I understand, but I'd rather be single than deal with all that extra baggage of having the kids' fathers constantly being involved, which is almost sure to happen.

  • i see that you're taking your dating game seriously.. so many guys in their 20s don't - scratch that, some in their 50s and they don't.
    As long as you are taking it seriously, I don't see the problem. Because girls actually want a guy to take them seriously, and you seem like you wanna take girls seriously when you date them, and that sounds good enough. Doesn't matter how old you are.

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    • Happy to know that! Thanks for the answer! :)

      You are right, I do not want to resort to casual dating or hookups at this point.

  • no, nothing never too late for love :)) one of friend i know she is 21 dating 42 years old guys and they r proper inlove, so yah...

    good luck. ^^

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    • 21 and 42? That's a tad too much, but yeah if they're in love... power to them!

  • It's not too late but it might be difficult.

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    • I know it might get difficult, so at this point I am not even banking on finding a woman who loves me. If I find one, well and good. If not, I still have other stuff to look forward to in life! :)

  • It's never too late. Dating can look different at different ages, but that's not a bad thing. Even elderly people who outlived their loved ones can find themselves back in the dating game. Wanting and seeking companionship is forever. Take care of yourself. Hard times are hard enough, do things at your own pace.

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    • Thank you! Exactly, I am dealing with too much shit right now, so I am not really in a position to dedicate time and efforts to seek out women.

  • It's ever to late to date seriously. Love is for all ages. 💜

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  • Of course not, I don't think it's "too late" until you're dead lol.

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  • It's never too late

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  • Not too late at all. I have many friends who didn't find thier SO until thier late 20's to early-mid 30's. I'm 40 at the end of the week and I'm just starting to date again after being single for 18yrs (by choice). Also I believe it's never too late to start dating again.

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    • Now this gives me hope, thank you! :)

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    • I hope so! I just need to put myself out there. Of course I won't have it easy because I'm not the best looking man, but I first need to be ready to put in the time, efforts and dedication needed to get a woman interested in me, which is no easy task.

    • Don't under estimate or put yourself down. I personally fall for what's on the inside rather than looks. Also you shouldn't think that you have to pay for everything, I know some girls expect that but I personally feel uncomfortable if a guy pays for everything. Also if a girl really likes you they will overlook that you haven't totally gotten your life on track, she would help and be your support.

  • No not at all. A lot of girls love older guys so you have your chances.
    Keep in mind that there is too early* to start dating but never too late start dating.

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    • Nice way you put! Thanks!

  • there are many dates you can go on that cost next to nothing and any woman who likes you will stand by you now as well as later. I am 37 and I am looking to start dating again so it is never to late

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    • Well... which woman in her right mind would be willing to date a man who is nearly 30, doesn't have a job, and is still trying to get a foothold in his career? But thanks for your input!

    • pm me please

    • I'm unable to message you, because you don't allow messages from people you aren't following. :(

      I'll send you a follow request, please follow me back and I'll PM you.

  • No, not at all. I think that's a pretty wise age to start thinking about it.

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  • I don't think so. My most enjoyable relationship was with a 32 yr old man and I was 22. Love takes every insecurity away. So if u find the right girl it should be fine

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    • Thank you! I am just waiting to sort my life out, at least to some extent, because right now it's a mess.

  • If this is who i think it is 😜
    Its all in your head

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    • Yes it's me. I got a bit drained working on my app (I have been working on it all night, with just 2 hours sleep) and impulsively asked this question. I don't suppose I was even being serious with this question, since this isn't my priority, and won't be for a long time.

  • No not late at all. I know many guys that never settled down until mid 30's. It's harder for females. I'm single for similar reasons to you. Just figured out my career and getting my life together now. So I wouldn't stress about it.

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  • look, yiu cannot stop your heart from loving or even pause it. you might find a guy who understands you and is willing to go the mile for you. dont let that pass. but that is not a late age to start dating if you are too busy now. but donut let the moment pass if it comes to you. you might regret it.
    <3

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    • No, I'll never let it pass, but with the kind of crap I'm dealing right now, I'm not in a position to actively 'seek' women.

  • No it's not too late, don't give up!!

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  • No 30 is fine. I mean it's definitely later than I plan on finding someone but some people wait that long

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  • You'll be just fine! Get your shit sorted first, your next partner will appreciate that! :)

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    • That's what I plan to do! Thanks!

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    • The guy's usernane is fearless_banana, and he has answered this question!

    • OP, I had to get in on that. That dude has some serious issues! Please ignore him, he's not you!

  • i was in a similar situation in my late 20s
    it's not too late, especially for a guy

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    • That's a relief! Thanks!

  • I think it's not too late, and I think it is quite good that you know where you stand and what you want clearly :)

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    • That's great to know, thanks! :)

  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 30

  • Dude, my uncle is in his early 50s and he dated Miss Brazil 2007, while in the middle of a divorce, and with young children, and with another girl on the side.

    Are your eggs rotting or something?

    "and can't afford to pay for dates (because I know it's the man's job to pay at least for the initial dates)."

    Ahh, that's a different issue. Funny thing about confidence in a man. You may think you know what confidence feels like in high school, but just wait until you start making money. Forget drugs. There's no better high than being able to walk into a place and just buy or pay for things, and not worry about it because you're good. Pay for your friends' vacations, just to have some company and not go places alone (and to also feel like you're treating them to something nice). Pay for a helicopter ride around the city, etc.

    Once you have money, you're going to stop asking yourself this question. I would stay away from dating if you don't have money, seriously. Just avoid it, because it's going to do you more harm than good.

    It's not the man's job to do shit. Unless a woman is your employer, you don't work for her, and you don't have any responsibilities to her.

    You pay and treat her the first time to test her, that's the only reason you do it. You want to see if she's the kind of reciprocate, or whether you're dealing with a "taker" on your hands. If by date number (2), you see that she's a "taker," or "fake/half-assed reciprocator," you start making your diplomatic exit. That's why men pay. Men pay first so they can have the first shot at running a substantial and meaningful test of character on the woman - that's it (it's a tool, not an obligation).

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    • Well... money is one of the main reasons for me to not want to date now, although it isn't the only reason. It's not like I don;t have money. I have enough to support myself, but I spending for dates is right now a luxury for me, and I'd rather not indulge in it until my financial situation improves.

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    • Thanks! :)

  • It's never too late to date, and yes I'm a poet and I didn't know it... sorry couldn't resist. At any rate, people date at most all ages. I say most because obviously as you age your population group tends to diminish, additionally as people age the desire to be with someone special, while it doesn't diminish the amount of energy you are willing to put into it may. However for you my friend you are still in a very energetic dating age range, in that there are many people within your age groups that are looking for others to date, so you should have no trouble finding an adequate number of suitable candidates to date. :-)

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    • Wow, thanks for the kind and encouraging words!

  • No, it's never too late to start dating. There are always single people out there your age and single people who like older/younger people. All that really matters is how well you take care of yourself. If never improve yourself that is when you won't be able to date.

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    • I hope you're right! Thank you! :)

  • It depends. Is life a series of processes to go through, things to attain. Or can you actually enjoy being single and enjoy dating? If you go into it seriously, thinking, 'I need to settle down', then I imagine it will be quite a bleak and unrewarding experience...

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    • Well... at this age, I honestly do not want to indulge in casual dating or hookups. I prefer to date with the intention of eventually turning it into a relationship. That's how I would like to put it.

  • As you can see I am in my mid 40's. My dating life has not changed at all. If not it became better.

    Let me explain my point of view.
    IN my twenties I dealt with women that were in a hurry to become pregnant. Not that wanting to become pregnant was wrong but sometimes it made them want things too quickly which affected their judgement
    In my 30's I dealt with women that had a 5 year old or even teenagers. They were looking for a man to replace the father of their child. No problem with that but it does not always work out.
    Now in my 40's the women are much relaxed. The child can take care of it;s own because it's 18 or even out of the house. The women just want a good man in their lives. That cool attitude makes dating so much better and fulfilling.

    Don't let age bother you at all. It's never to late.

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    • Thanks mate! Appreciate your inputs! :)

  • What's more likely, (a) [cue thunderclap] You, and you alone, Anonymous Male, have royally screwed up and are hereby condemned to a life of misery and singularity; (b) [cue infographic] you're experiencing a trend that is affecting millions of people in society and while you're looking for them, they'll be looking for you too.

    Hint: the answer is b. Good luck :) PS your responsible attitude will give you plus points with any potential partner worth having!

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  • It's never too late and there's also the fact that women normally date older guys, so it's perfectly fine.

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    • Yeah, my gender would be an advantage here!

  • It's hard because there will be less and less single women out there and more and more single mothers (unless you're ok with that). There will be fewer single men to compete with as well but it gets harder to meet a woman (if you meet 100 new people per year fewer and fewer of those will be eligible single women).

    I'd suggest to try dating right now, even if you only have a shitty job you can still afford some dates. At worst you'll gain some dating experience that you may need later on.

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    • I don't even have a job, I immigrated to a new country and finding it really really tough to make inroads here. That's the problem.

  • Why the fck have you been single for 5 years? That's not by choice OP.. you need to identify what is wrong and change that. You don't need have a certain number in your bank account to be able to date. "Because I fell on hard times" shut the fck up and stop making excuses.

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    • If you had been in my situation, you'd know the shit I have been through. And you have no evidence to 'claim' that it wasn't by choice. Dating is a luxury when I am trying to sort out issues with my professional and personal life. I had dropped out of University, and I utilised these 5 years to go back and complete graduation. I also suffered the losses of some loved ones (I prefer not to go into detail here), and some mental health issues as well.

      Please refrain from judging, because you haven't been in my shoes. Oh yeah, and shut the fuck up yourself.

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    • Charles Manson, Michael Jackson, Jeffery Dahmer, Ted Bundy, all "mentally unstable". Is OK for these guys to date too?

      Since "being single" isn't a choice, when will the Pope be available for a date?

      Oh, you're a soldier, and a cop? What happened to your vows to "protect and serve", not only the people, but the freedoms outlined in the constitution such as, oh I don't know, speech and religion? You're pissing all over OP's rights to come here and speak his mind and ask for help in living his life the way he chooses.

      You sound like just another angry marine, using The Badge as a shield to hide behind while you parade around like some spoiled little brat god expecting everyone to kiss your ass.
      It's true that this country does not take as good a care of it's military as it should, but guess what? You enlisted, and fought to protect the treatment you get.
      Fearless banana? So you're a dick, and your're yellow. Good to know.

    • @dragonfly6516 Not a cop.. Protect and serve is only the LAPD. The military treated me very well. I'm not pissing all over OPs rights.. there is something called the first amendment. Not expecting anyone to kiss my ass nor do I want sympathy. I called OP out for a reason.. and I was absolutely correct. If I wasn't politically correct enough for you then I don't really care tbh. He needed to be told that so he can make changes.

  • Late? I don't see any reason to that, and im a 31 single guy. There's no age to that, dont be afraid, there are plenty of people to know to everyone.

    Be respectfull, make friendships, create nice relationships and don't forece yourself to get a woman. If it makes sense, things happen.

    If you fell pressured by your family... ignore them.

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    • Thankfully, no family pressure! My folk are pretty chilled out!

  • no... people find love at all ages. QUESTION: ANSWERED =)

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  • It's never too late.

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  • Your money and dating life shouldn't have conflicts with each other. You can be broke and still date hot and pretty girl. Here a point you need to understand. Your money is a tool to dating but you also need skill. Skill is how you charm a girl. The word Prince charming, think carefully what these two word mean. Plus 29-30 is not too old but your should be very mature guy. Meaning you are at your prime getting all the girls easy if you know what you doing

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    • Well... money may not matter for white guys, but I'm not white so I have a racial disadvantage, which I need to compensate with a great career and a good job.

    • There so many other race than white and girl care less about race. All it matter if she feel attractive to you. That where charming need to come to play. How else Prince charming got it name. Do you have something unique from other. Like funny jokes, know how cook, very clean and presentable, or treat her like a real women, and etc. I pretty sure you have something to charm or impress a girl then just lame career

  • You're good. Heck, I'm 37 and just getting out into the dating scene. I'm in "a good place" with myself right now.

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    • So are you bale to get dates without issues?

  • It never too late but you will lack experiences. It wise to start dating as early as possible to get some experiences.

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    • I would need at least 1 year and a decent job, to be able to date. But thanks!

  • hope not, cuz I'm 30 in December... ugh, I want to be 16, I don't care if I can't drink or whatever

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    • I'll be 30 in November! Lolz! :P

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    • What a coincidence, I don't believe in god too! ;)

    • so most girls probably think that we're just a couple of evil, untrustworthy, immoral, freaks. they don't want bastard children. ah society has fucked itself with it's own stick.

  • Absolutely not, you'll do just fine! What are you gonna do, stop dating? :-P

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  • The answer is no

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  • Its never too late imho. Don't let age become a mental obstacle in your pursuit of happiness. Just focus on being interesting, groom yourself, work out, dress well. All these things count because women are very visual too (despite what people might tell).

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    • Yup! Will put myself out there once I have sorted out my life!

  • i think its all up to the person... i think my damage is too deep embedded to try to work on... and i would cause myself intense emotional pain trying to talk to women again... they are much like the moon too me... lovely and reflecting radiance... but they are never something i will land on... or accomplish (moon landing was fake) so i pretty much leave it where its at

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    • Ouch, those are painful words! :(

    • didn't mean for it to sound as depressing as it actually is... its just that i find that it makes my life easier to pretend to be normal than to remotely attempt to achieve normalcy. i dont know how to make women like me... nor am i certain i want their approval any longer... it comes with age... i never had a girlfriend or date... so you can't miss what you never had

  • you're not even in your prime yet. you will be around mid 30s.

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  • No..

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  • Yeap. Most of the people in those ages are full of STDs at least HPV.

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    • You serious? What if we get tested?

  • It is not too late because if it was then a lot of people would be alone.

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  • Yeah because you don't wanna be single at 40 still

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  • Yes it is. Just give up on this.

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  • There is no such thing as too late.

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  • No man its never to late to get back out there

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  • If your a woman. Yes. If your a man. No.

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    • Haha, then I have my gender to thank! ;)

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