He's married, I'm in a relationship but I cannot seem to shake my attraction to him?

I recently started a new job with wonky hours so my co-workers have become friends. I have started hanging out with this guy, married, 10 years older than me. He's extremely cool, we have a lot in common. The best way I can describe it is he is basically me, but ten years advanced. Him and his wife are not 'married', but common-law and have no kids. They have been together for 20 years and are happy from what our conversations have told me. I cannot seem to shake my attraction to him, I am in a relationship and it's hard feeling how I feel while still loving my significant other. Married man and myself have addressed the attraction between the two of us, and put the stopper on that. But we still make comments that are outside the bounds of friendship and lead into flirting... I don't know what to do, I feel horrible. But I am constantly thinking about him and wondering if he is doing the same. Recently, he has been mentioning his wife a lot more and I'm wondering if he is sensing that the relationship is taking a negative turn and trying to prevent it from going any further. I don't know what to do. Help!


1|0
3|3

Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone is married that should automatically be a signal to move on.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... Recently, he has been mentioning his wife a lot more and I'm wondering if he is sensing the the relationship is taking a negative turn and trying to pevent it...
    Yes, I see the Sure Signs at this Time that he is Trying to give you a Helpful Hint that there is no Chance for Any... Romance.
    His own Sticky Situation is Obvious and this would alone put a Sour Ball, Alone, In My own Mouth. You yourself are in this 'Relationship,' So while you are at Work... Stay away from the Water Cooler and just be Light and Semi sweet until you both Clock out and go Your Own... Separate Lives.
    Good luck. xx

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • * when you realize that a big mess is approaching, and start trivializing it..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Haha lucky guy

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Stop doing that then. Put the stopper on the flirting too because you're not doing yourself any favors because you enjoy getting the attention from him. Trust me, it will pass once you make a conscious effort to stop it. I'm speaking from experience, I'm really close to one of my guy friends at work too.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've gone through a similar situation while being in a relationship. I couldn't seem to get rid of my attraction to a different man as well. Just like your story, there was mutual flirtation and I felt extremely confused as well. So don't feel alone! I'm sure there are plenty of other people who are dealing with this as well.

    If he does sound happy with his wife and you are overall happy with the person you are seeing, I don't think there's a reason to completely jeopardize both of your other relationships by crossing any major lines. I would just stay friends and stay close, a little flirtatious comment here and there isn't harmful, so long as you both know what boundaries not to cross. And if things end up not working out with your significant others, I'm sure you'll know who to turn to :)

    Good luck!!!

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...