Are most of the guys that you date/like the ones that first caught your eye? like "Oh yeah I saw that super cute kid at the grocery store today".
Or have you also liked/dated guys you at first felt nothing toward, as if he was a random classmate in your room. But you of course soon did like/date them after they talked to you and flirted.
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To form a dating scenario, you need to build attraction.
Looks don't build attraction, personality does. (The way you banter / flirt / laugh / etc)
Women aren't as attracted to a rocking body as men normally presume.
Example of what women look for:
- Stability: Will he be able to provide for a family in OUR future?
- Loyalty: If I give him the opportunity to gain a place in my heart, will he cheat on me?
- Confidence: Is he an independent person that can make his own choices?
- Conversation: Can he keep me interested by talking AND listening?
- Hygene: Does he look like a bum, or does he put in reasonable effort to look good?
*NOTE* - Hygene is also a way that the ladies can judge how you will treat them. If you dress and look like a bum, you don't put effort into how you appear; so how could you put effort into a relationship- taking care of them?
etc etc etc
The above are all traits of personality. You're personality is WHO you are, not "what" you are. Anyone can have personality, the clerk at a gas station, or the havard law student that graduated 20 years ago. We are all human and have the same abilities.
So this all relates to your second paragraph. IT IS POSSIBLE that a woman can date someone on the first day of knowing them, but it's more likely that they will date the person that they can already feel attracted to. If you put their crush and a stranger in the same room, they will obviously choose their crush. Alternatively, if you put someone that they don't find attractive and a stranger in the same room, it's a coin toss. You can't accurately say who she will find attractive, but I can place a probability that it's the guy that shows personality, regardless of looks.
Looks are great for the first impression, or the probability that she will talk with you. After you have got her talking and listening comfortably, it's all about personality... personality outweighs looks 9;1