So my boyfriend last night said he was expecting to be home around 11 (which was fine). I told him I would probably message him through the night and not to bother looking until he got home (only sent them so I'd remember what things I wanted to talk about when he got home) and I'd wait up for him at 11. 11 came around and he wasn't home. Then 12:30 came and he still never messaged me. I'm annoyed and upset because he didn't message me to tell me not to wait up and he'd be out longer than he thought. I didn't care that he wasn't home, I didn't care where he was, who he was with, or what he was doing. I just wanted a message saying he expected to be out longer... I don't think that is controlling but a little piece of me wonders if it is. Thanks
That is THE thing I hate the most about girls. Them thinking they control my agenda. He made the mistake of telling you he would probably be back around 11. He never told you he would or made a promise. I am a freaking adult. I am old enough to be able to go wherever I want, whenever I want, and come back at whatever time I want to without asking for anybody's permission. You are an adult too. I am not responsible for your life or your entertainment. Find something to do when you are alone, be more independant. So my opinion is that yes, you are being too controlling. It's not the end of the world, but it is annoying.
Stop "waiting" for him. That's annoying. That tells us guys that you are completely useless without us. It feels like you are a burden more than anything else and it looks like emotional manipulation too.
If he asks you to wait for him and tells you he will be back at 11 and then he is not, then yes, you can be pissed. If not, live and let live.
It isn't controlling because you didn't even really care to know where he was, with who, etc. You were just expecting a heads up that you shouldn't wait up and I think it's common courtesy to say "I'm staying out later" if someone is waiting on you so they don't waste their time.
1. You're fine, and just wanted to know "not to wait up."
2. Yes you were, you have to remember there was a time before texting (gasp!) and cell phones. There was this thing called "lifting your own life." I undertand that you wanted to text him to remember what you wanted to talk about (I do that myself at times).
In any case, sounds like you need to talk to him about different things, and something tells me that "those texts" we're just those subjects.
Sometimes it is loud or very social where the person is, so he or she may not answer their phone right away. But he should have messaged sometime after 10pm when he realized he wouldn't be home "on time" out of consideration.
Next time he shouldn't give a time that he would be back. 😋
I think that you were justified in the way you felt, but you didn't handle it very reasonably. Instead of spamming him, you should have waited until he got home and told him all the things you said in the description, so that hopefully he would understand and be more considerate next time.
No it is not controlling to want someone who is supposed to care about you to be considerate and have manners... If you truly are with someone they are thought of and respected enough to let you know you are goin to be either late or not at all... courtesy is a part of a healthy relationship along with good communication. Hugz hope that I helped. 🍀🐶🍀
Sometimes when you're out you just get caught up in the moment. Best thing is to just do you and let him do him. If he comes back awesome, If he doesn't - assume he's obviously still out and he'll come back later. Sleep whenever you are tired. No need to wait or pressure him for a text unless its urgent.
Most of the times Im sure it all works out but if it doesn't, like this time, its ok he's out and he'll be back when he's back.
No, that's understandable. I wouldn't like it as well. But try to don't get mad if it's the first time he does something like that, talk with him instead and explain your feelings. Hopefully next time he will be more careful.