Would you ever date someone with bad mental health?

I have a laundry list of shit I need to get talk to a doctor about. Too afraid to do it though. So that just brought me to this question.

  • Yes
    42% (163)40% (117)41% (280)Vote
  • No
    58% (221)60% (176)59% (397)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can say honestly, no. I've watched my friend over the last 2 years, date and marry someone with severe depression. He refused to get help and wouldn't allow her to help him, and things just spiraled from there to the point where living in the house was completely unbearable.

    If you are not a doctor, it is extremely hard to help someone who needs help, especially if they refuse to get help. They cannot deal with their issues or their life at the moment or over time, and that makes it extremely hard to be in a connected relationship with them that is two way. Also their are some mental orders that turn violent or dangerous for other family or friends. It's just sometimes too much of a risk, and too hard to live with someone who really and truly needs what you personally cannot give them.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I said yes, because my wife of many years has a great many issues, some more difficult than others. Fortunately loyalty isn't an issue she struggles with. So yes we have some challenges, but from my perspective most couples do, I guess it's just a matter of how you look at those challenges. Do I feel that this issues make her a bad person? No, I just don't always like the choices she makes, and she is slowly working on her issues. Lastly the one thing that helps me when I'm really struggling with her through her issues, is the fact that I love her and that despite all of her issues, it is this love that is the bedrock of our relationship and that she is as deserving of love as anybody else, and that maybe it is my loving support that is helping her deal when she is having a time of it.

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What Girls Said 53

  • in my case, i'm the one with questionable mental health, and my boyfriend is dating me, so.

    that said, could i date me? probably, as long as s/he was on meds or actively seeking treatment (as i am now).

    in my late teens/early 20s, i dated a guy who had severe mental-health issues but refused all treatment and wouldn't see a doctor or take meds~ i tried to help as best i could but, having many of the same issues myself, it eventually wore me out.

    i'm protective and stupidly loyal, sometimes to a fault. but even i have my limits.

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    • Do you ever think the loyalty comes from the problems? I do, as in I have little so treat it with love, respect and never abandon it.

    • honestly, i don't think it has anything to do with my mental health. i was raised to be loyal to family and other loved ones, and i have a feeling i always will be.

  • If they were actively seeking treatment and adhereing to any medication then yes.

    If they're in the procrastinate till I die stage then no. That's not healthy and it's not good to be around.

    At first it does seem really hard and scary to make your first appointment, but after you do you'll feel so much better.

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  • I said yes, though it really depends. If they're going through a lot and are depressed or have anxiety, I would date them and hopefully help them through it. However, if their mental health is so bad that they become violent or have anger issues, I would leave in a heartbeat.

    I'll only be with someone that wants to get better.

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  • Yes I would date me!

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  • If you have a few issues, sure. But if you're mental health is in a detrimental state, as in your case. absolutely not.

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  • Hmmm, it depends. I have my own issues with mental health and I'd have to make sure that we weren't gonna drag each other down. I have to put my health first.

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    • It depends. If the guy has 6 pack abs, why not?

    • @Vivaldi 6 packs aren't really my thing, dude. Defined muscle looks more creepy than it does arousing. For me, it's more like 'if the guy has long hair, why not?'.

  • I am not the person to do that. I'm not patient. I'm not understanding. I'm not very forgiving. It'd be a bad time.

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  • Oh, I have. I probably still will. Honestly, it's not always the best idea, but I can't help who I like. My ex had a lot of problems mentally and it affected our relationship a lot. Of course, I have my own mental health issues as well so we were kind of a mess from the start. We didn't talk about our problems the way that we should have and we didn't confront them as well. It blew up in our faces after a while. I think you should take care of yourself before getting into a relationship where your girlfriend will more likely become your mom.

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  • I have, more than once, and it is just so much work trying to be sensitive and understanding and making exceptions, and I know that sounds insensitive, but a partner shouldn't have to feel like a carer or pity their partner because they have psychological issues.

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  • Depends what you mean. I won't date someone who doesn't take responsibility for their own well being, that includes their mental health. If they have struggles but they work hard to manage or overcome them and they don't externalities their problems, I'm willing to be there to support them and encourage them. But I would never waste my time or energy with someone who wallows in self pity, blames everyone else or external circumstances for all their problems, doesn't work on trying to get better or uses their diagnosis or self diagnosis as a crutch / excuse to be shitty.

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  • As long as you're seeking help and trying to get better, of course!

    My mom has PTSD (which involves anxiety and depression), as well as CPTSD. My sister has borderline personality and depression. I have untreated anxiety, and I'm looking for a psychiatrist.

    I guess, with this, it's just a matter of perspective. I would rather date a man who knows he has a problem and is trying to solve it, than a guy who doesn't think he has a problem and is refusing to find out.

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  • I would. I have some issues I need to work out too, so if I say I wouldn't date someone because of that, I'd be kind of a hypocrite.

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  • Yes I would. I have ADHD, anxiety, depression and some other mental issues but my boyfriend is dating me and we're doing just swell in our relationship. If I was really into someone their depression or whatever wouldn't affect me much, I know how to handle someone with bad mental health.

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  • Well not if it was schizophrenia. My sister was with one and she got beat threedays in a row and almost killed her by choking her, trying to drown her, holding a knife to her etc. But I'd date a boy with depression or anxiety or something like that. Then again, if I loved someone and he ended up having schizophrenia that may be a different story

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  • Yes because i have a milliin things i probably need to get over aswell and it would help knowing im not the only one who struggles with the sht in my head. So we would mutually be fcked up working for a light at the end of the tunnel. And i think that would help us both

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  • been there done that. broke my heart into a million pieces. the guy was/is battling depression, would ignore me and everyone else for weeks, had mood swings and was just an asshole in general. so no thank you... never again. give me a healthy and happy man over someone like my ex anyday

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    • I used a scary drug in the year 2014. Would this make me mentally ill?

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    • It was a very harmful drug.

    • @Vivaldi don't see the problem as long as you don't have a relapse..

  • I dont know and i say this because your average person has some form of mental illness. Very few people acknowledge it and know that it isn't normal so they do something about it. I dealt with my issues i expect my partner to do the same. But we live in a society that would rather normalize it than cure it. I would date someone with anxiety and depression , addiction , add or adhd history but are working on it. I wouldn't date someone with gender dysphora (transgenders) , body dysphora, schizophrenia, bipolar... etc

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  • Depends on how well they are managing it, self control, and how severe the mental illness or disorder is.

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  • No I wouldn't, I have too many problems of my own to deal with those of another person, too.

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  • Uhm.

    It depends.

    I'd date a guy with a mild mental illness that's well managed. I would not date someone with depression, anxiety, or anything else; too much to deal with.

    :\

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  • probably not. i'm already prone to moodiness and bitchiness lol. i would like to be with a mentally stable person.

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  • Mmm I don't think I can do it :/ Unless he overcomes it...

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    • Suppose he is skinny fat, which is very disgusting.

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    • Girls say they dont date skinny fat guys. Your overcoming it will not be enough if you are skinny fat.

  • Depends on what exactly they're facing and how severe it is. I've had experiences dealing with a mental illness myself

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  • Pretty desperate imao!

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  • Nope.

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  • Nope, but that's because I have bipolar disorder and haven't reached a healthy place with my own mental health problems.

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  • I'm dealing with severe depression myself right now. It would actually be nice to be with someone who understands you.

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  • Honey, I've got my own shit to deal with. I don't need your mental illness piled on top of mine. That's a bad situation, and I value myself and my own health too much to allow myself to go through that.

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  • Vote A
    I am cyclothymic + have dated other people who had mental health problems.

    Fire + gasoline... each and every time with MUCH super crazy sex.

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  • I'm as weird as it gets, although I don't have any mental issues. I would date someone who did, and I'd go to therapy with them just so they could feel more comfortable.

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What Guys Said 42

  • Entirely depends on their issues. I've had a few that I've had to get under control, such as social anxiety. (A lot of it was the result of being abused at work, which ended when one of my managers got fired for abusing other workers and getting caught.)

    Obviously, I'm not gonna date a girl who would kill me in my sleep. But I would take pity on some that have delusional episodes, or who have had to be in a straight jacket.

    It's a matter of personal safety, not a matter of contempt or anything. If they're a danger to themselves, that's one thing. If they're a danger to me, that's another.

    I would argue any girl supporting Bernie Sanders has a mental disorder. Doesn't stop me from crushing on a gal at work I know who does this. In her case, especially with other things she's told me, I would chalk up most of her situation to simply her being immature. Then again, I have always had a soft spot for immature women.

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  • I voted yes, but it's conditional. It depends on the type of mental illness, how severe it is, how well it's being treated, and long term prospect.

    It's not really about the mental illness itself. It's about who they are and whether I can get along with them or not. The mental illness is part of that. If it causes them to be someone I just can't be around, then the reason doesn't matter, unless I have very good reason to believe it will change. If I like them as they are, if the mental illness doesn't have any negative affect on the relationship, then I'd be OK with it.

    Mental illness is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. It's not a license to do things that seriously harm the relationship and not have a negative affect.

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  • For 17 years, I was married to a woman who I discovered has borderline personalty disorder. If any of you do not believe in Heaven and Hell, I can introduce you to Hell. Never again. I can and would tolerate someone who deals with some anxiety or depression, but schizophrenia, bipolar, or serious personality disorder. . . Hell to the no!

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  • Yes and I did. Me and my girlfriend we both have a mental illness and we knew it when we were just friends, she has BPD, I have PTSD, and that didn't stop us from getting in a relationship. Sure, we usually have some shit related to those to deal with but the rest of the time, its' worth it, you try to understand the other person, then you start to love them more.

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  • i have dated a few and there more devoted than any normal girl though for me normal is a setting on the washing machine, so read into that what ever you want lol

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  • I dunno, would you ever cross a bridge that was really shaky on the other side?

    Cause I sure as hell wouldn't.

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  • People with mental health problems may be lovable but do not make good partners. Mentally healthy people won't date you. The best you can hope for is a fraught relationship with someone who is also troubled. I know this, been there, done that. Depressed in my 20's with very low self-esteem I first dated a hoarder with OCD, then married a woman with histrionic personality disorder. It was hell. Finally I got a couple years of therapy and I'm far from perfect but I have a great marriage now.

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    • I wish there was a way to die without getting hurt. I am bored of this boring life.

  • Where is the depends option?

    I would say depends on how bad her mental health is and how committed she is to making herself better.

    My ex girlfriend had depression but refused any help given to her but would blame her depression for every emotional malfunction she had and made it an excuse to lie. We broke up due to her cheating on me... which again she used her depression as an excuse.
    Thinking about it she probably just suffered from massive bitch syndrome and not depression.

    My current girlfriend has manic depression - this wasn't diagnosed until last year. She takes medication, she takes part in therapeutic activities. She has sleep problems as well but it's funny when I wake up in morning to find she's gone in closet and she laughs too when it happens. She's dedicated to keep on living her own life and not let her illness get in the way.

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  • Been there, done that, never again.

    Met a girl, thought she was normal. Turned out I happened onto her in the few months of her life when she wasn't majorly depressed (as well as other mental things, like a rather increadible streak of dishonesty).

    So, bad experience, and never again. Dating a "normal" woman is so much more pleasure and so much less drama.

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  • Nobody's perfect. As long as I can trust her to be faithful, and to not be abusive, I have no problem with mental illnesses.

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  • No, because i tried that. Know what happened? it fucked me over. Not again, and i won't put anything onto a partner that i can't deal with now.

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  • It depends, only if her mental disorder/illness isn't dangerous to other people. If she has OCD like me, then yes I would date that woman if we both find each other attractive. By the way, people like me that have OCD aren't insane, we are aware how absurd our obsessive compulsive behaviors are.

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  • Could you define bad mental health in more concrete terms. For instance I would be willing to date someone with depression, manic depression, add, adhd, dyslexia, etc.
    I don't think I'd be willing to date someone who needs assisted living, has extremely low IQ, or is at the mental development level of a child.

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    • You have 6 packs abs. Sluts will date you for your 6 pack abs.

  • As long as she isn't nuts and won't try and kill me in my sleep, idm...

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  • I am in pretty bad mental health myself, but my girlfriend isn't too far off. I know that makes our relationship kinda unstable but I love her so w/e.

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  • I myself have some. OCD and epilepsy. The doctors have been helping with meds and such, so they've both gotten much better over the years. I'd date a girl with bad mental health if it wasn't anything huge.

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  • Depends on the severity of the problem and how much I cared about them. I'm not dating a stranger with mental health problems. With a close friend I might.

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  • If its mild and under control then yes. But not something like schizophrenia or bipolar. It might sound unfair but I wouldn't be able to deal with that.

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  • BAD mental health meaning struggling with BPD or similar? No. Don't stick your dick in crazy.

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  • i dont date sluts.

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    • Hack g meantal fucking health problems doesn't make you a slut so cause I've been depressed starved myself and been a shitty place a slut no fuck that bullshit

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    • @Vivaldi still going off he point about you saying mental illness makes me a slut and no offence but comments like that I ain't suprised and not all sluts like attention sluts maybe a slut because they look for an was cape in life because I've been there at suck a shifty point you try anything so don't hate what you don't know

    • Sluts also like handsome attractive men. Not a guy like me.

  • Nope. One crazy person is enough per relationship.

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  • Sure. As I always say, I'd be more than willing to help pull them out of the water. But I won't kick it with someone who doesn't wanna put effort into getting better i. e doesn't want nor help herself.

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  • Depends. If they have anxiety or depression or PTSD then yes. If it is bipolar or anything else then no because bipolar is very hard to support due to the severe nature of it

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  • it depends of the mental situation?
    u have to explain more about bad mental health.
    but anyway, i would love to help her first then date her. it is not a problem.

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  • It depends on her mental health. If it can improve, I would give a chance, but no way if she is so close-minded that her behaviour would never change.

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  • If they were dealing with it like i am with treatment yes

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  • yes i would be happy to date a girl like that

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  • Yeah but it probably wouldn't work out though

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  • I was going to say no but then I thought to how messed I am sometimes

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  • I am having a bit of a difficulty dealing with mg girlfriend on her PMS days, so someone with mental health issues would be impossible.

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