The guy I like won't date me because he is afraid of possibly ruining our friendship, what do I do?

Me and this guy have been friends all school year, and just recently we both agreed we caught feelings for each other. I really like him and he really likes me. But seems to be acting distant ever since we confronted each other. The other day i texted him saying " Hey, i really want this to work, and I'm not gonna waste my time if your not interested," and he replied with "I don't want to waste your time, i really do like you, but if something was to happen i don't want to ruin our friendship." and then i texted him back saying " well i can't promise that nothing bad will happen but it doesn't hurt to try." and he didn't reply back at all. I don't understand, is that his way of saying he doesn't want to date me, or is he just really nervous to date me. I'm just so confused on what he wants. Especially if he is telling my friends how much he likes me and that we are talking. I really do like him, he is amazing and i really want this to work out but i don't think he feels the same. Please help, none of my friends know how to help me!!

Updates:
Not sure if this makes a difference but he is a little bit younger than me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • maybe he doesn't know what to do. He is acting shy and you may need to be more accepting of him. Tell him that it is okay to date you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ohhhhhhh nooooo! My h. s diary, all my poems, notes to friends and memories are filled with this terrible situation. My first love, we met our 9th grade yr. He said the same thing. We both tried moving on to "save our friendship ". Eventually it turned into "I love you, and am so afraid this won't work that i won't let myself date you" Long story shortened, our relationship did get ruined. He couldn't handle me being with anyone else, I ended relationships because I still loved him. It was heartbreak after heart break. 9yrs later we went our ways. He came back for a short moment through text. I was pregnant, now he too has a child and my "best friend" has never reached out to ask about my son and avoids my communication to congratulate him on his daughter.

    My advise, either date or dont. If he says no, image him kissing and holding another girl. If that hurts then walk away from him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There can't be a friendship anymore and imho it's a ridiculous reason to turn someone down. In some cases people actually mean it when they say "I don't want to ruin the friendship" because they are delusional there can still be a friendship, but mostly it's just a way of avoiding having to say "I just don't like you that way".

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    • so when i see him tomorrow at school what do i ask him? I want to know his true feelings.

  • Accept it, if he doesn't want to date you, he doesn't want date you.
    Deal with it

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What Girls Said 5

  • He doesn't like you enough if he would turn you down because of your "friendship". It's a cop-out when people use that excuse. People are more likely to lose the friendship by rejecting said friend than by saying yes. He may very well be afraid to lose you as a friend, but when you truly like someone and they finally tell you they feel the same way, you will take the risk. There's nothing you can do, but walk away. How much younger than you is he?

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    • im 16 and a half and he's 15

    • Okay, not too bad a difference. Still, he may care a lot for you, but I wouldn't try to change his mind. It will only drive him away. I learned that the hard way w/a boy. It's hard accepting defeat, especially when they don't flat out tell you no. He said no to you without saying no. He made you feel like you had a chance still by telling you the only reason he couldn't get with you was because of the friendship thing. You don't want to be with someone who isn't man enough to tell you the truth or at least set you straight. Don't hold out hope for this guy.

  • Hmmm you are young, if you were older I would say just go for it because they may be a chance of it working out in the long term. However I would still say give it a go and agree to give the relationship a try and if it doesn't work out you can forget it and carry on being friends again X

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  • i am having the same problem. and if you figure out what to do.. please please tell me coz i am dying over here.

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  • If he really liked you in that way.. he would do it anyway.

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  • make him see how good you taste

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