Is it friends with benefits or roommates or more?

I have been sleeping with same guy since 2003 we started off dating for awhile to a booty call thing to friends with benefits and yes we both had other relations on the side... In July we will have officially been roommates for 1 year and slept together twice in this time that he has been in my house. not a lot of people know about this arrangement he is very low key.. When he first moved in he stated more than once we are just roommates who happen to sleep in same bed.. Because it's a 3 bedroom house and my daughters have the other two rooms this is my house he pays several of the bills and helps with food he also runs my kids places if I'm not there and makes sure they have been fed. We have family movie days we hike together as a family and he comes along.. My problem is from last July to October he was hardly around and that was around the time he said we were just roommates.. .. And eventually I told my roommate I was going to start dating someone when I would go over to my guys house would say remarks and call me a hoochie.. And so on I explained to my roommate we are just roommates as he told me in the beginning I'm not being hoochie I'm dating the guy.. My roommate started wanting to hang out more with me and my kids wanted to start going to gym with me wanted to be around me all the time and still does he also says things like we need to teach the girls how to shoot guns and go shooting together as a family we need to workout as a family and so on... . Now he knows me and the guy was dating split up he asks me to cuddle with him he has his back towards me or he will ask me to scratch his back... He won't cuddle me or try anything... Really confused by him... I definitely want to date other people but not trying to confuse my kids or argue with roommate all the time.. At one time he was all I wanted and he knew it and he didn't want that.. Now I have moved on we have became great friends. My kids are attached to him not sure how to proceed.


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What Guys Said 2

  • The honest key to this issue are the kids cause they are the real factor that can hurt any other relationship. Its not so much the roommate.

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  • Interesting living arrangement

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What Girls Said 1

  • You started sleeping with the guy that lives in the same house as you and your kids? And you thought that was a good idea? You shouldn't have a random guy living in the same house as you and your children, not just because it creates boundary issues, but also because the kids shouldn't have to live with a random man that isn't their father or any relation to them. If you aren't couple, he should move out and you shouldn't have that kind of set up again.

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    • Yes I knew him since 2003 he met my kids a lot over the years... My youngest considers him a dad more than her real dad.. We are just not together we have always been friends.. So not a random guy.. I just can put so much in a explanation I had to delete all that to post this

    • Your child shouldn't be considering your friend or roommate to be their dad, that's unhealthy, not to mention inaccurate and why would you want them thinking that? You need to separate whatever you do with this guy, from your children's lives. He isn't a partner and you kids shouldn't have bonded or become emotionally attached to some guy you sleep with on the side, whom hasn't made any commitment to you or the kids. It's dysfunctional and they'll get hurt.

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