I'm in love with my best friend, is he leading me on?

Since the beginning of the year my guy friend and I have become really close, we are best friends and enjoy each others company. At first I was not into him but I've caught feelings all of a sudden, surprise surprise.

Whats weird is that he has become really handsy and will literally do anything for me. We constantly go out together and people have even asked if we are dating. He says stuff that contradict the way he acts and he'll backtrack a lot. sometimes he'll say he really likes me, sometimes he'll say he wants action even though I've told him I don't work that way. He chooses me over his friends a lot of the time and is always messaging, calling me etc. My ex-boyfriend tries to keep in touch with me and I am not interested, my best guy friend gets really jealous whenever i get messages from my ex. He even tried to get my ex to stop talking to me without me knowing, I thought this was a really nice gesture as i have been struggling to get my ex to stop.

I don't want to force something that may not happen but I really like him and I've honestly never felt about a guy this way before. My friends say it's obvious that he likes me and I feel like he likes me as well but he's too afraid to commit to something serious.
What do you guys think? What should I do? Should I just leave it? Why is he acting this way, can you guys decode it for me please?


What Guys Said 1

  • As someone who's fallen for a friend of mine before, I'm telling you, he's giving you the signs. Good luck with it, this part tends to suck, even if all ends well.


What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds to me like you are boyfriend and girlfriend, just without the sex. He is a boyfriend without benefits. From what you have described, he cares about you a lot.

    The next thing you need to do is double-check your own feelings. It might be that you mistook some other kind of feeling for love, it might be that you find your feelings changing after you change the way you look at him.

    It sounds odd to suggest that you might love someone only because he's your best friend, but believe me, people are weird enough to do this.

    However, since you stated pretty confidently that you love him, I'll roll with it. The next thing is to go talk to him, and ask him if he feels similarly about you, and if he wants to start something with you.

    Seriously, that's the only thing to do. If you don't do it today, you're going to wake up tomorrow wanting the exact same thing you wanted today, and additionally feeling guilty about having wasted a day.

    Nothing's got better on the contrary, things are worse.

    You've got to prepare yourself for the possibility of him rejecting you, because really, no person in the world has a right to be accepted by another person. But rejection is something you can deal with and learn from. Indecision teaches you nothing.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

    • Thank you for the great advice. I agree with you. But he is a big part of my life and I do not want to lose him because of my feelings that he may not reciprocate. It is hard but I feel like your advice is the right thing to do, I just need to gain the courage in order to open up to him.

  • He could like you or he could just be protective. Like you said he could like you but not want to commit for whatever reason. Does he hug you or flirt or anything?

    • yes, he constantly hugs me, kisses me on my cheek and neck, and is very physical. He is very flirty as well but I have never let the physical interactions go too far.
      Im trying to establish boundaries but it's hard when you like someone...

    • If he's kissing you, then he probably likes you, unless he treats all his friends like that