My boyfriend told my friend that SHE IS HOT! IN FRONT OF ME! Is it normal?

We've been dating for a while now, we were hanging out with some of my girl friends when one of them started complaining about being overweight I was comforting her and he jumped in telling her that she has THE PERFECT HOT BODY and that her weight is just the perfect weight for a female then he turned to me and asked about my weight if it's 45 Kg 40 kg? as in saying I'm underweight
I'm honestly not paranoid I have a good self esteem but what the hell was that?
Not the first time he compliments other girls in front of me... I feel like I don't even like him anymore
IS IT NORMAL? IM I OVER REACTING?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Im not sure if he is trying to hit on the woman and shame you or anything. Although a possibility I think he is trying to give hints that maybe he wants you to change a little bit.

    In my opinion when you date someone you should like them for who they are and not try to force them to change. It suggests when you started the relationship that you weren't being genuine however if you had more weight when you met him then I think maybe it's acceptable for him to desire you as you were when he fell in love with you.

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    • We're not in love we just like each other, I don't think he was hitting on her either. he has no right to have any kind of suggestions on how my body should look like, if I like me that's all I care about It was disrespectful and I'm thinking of dumping him for someone who knows how to treat me better thats all

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    • Maybe? If it that's all it took to push you away. Do you guys talk enough to understand the boundaries of your relationship?

    • Well I told him I didn't appreciate him making my friend feel better about her self by making me feel small, he felt super guilty and apologized that was it but I still think about it though it's like it was all rainbows and sunshine until he fucked it up

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Asking a woman/man about her weight/age/marital status is rude. I don't know how old he is. But the older he gets, the gentleman he should more become.
    2. I have been in relationship with my boyfriend for more than 6 years. I never compare his weight/age/appearance/etc. with his friends IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS OR MY FRIENDS. He never does that to me neither.
    It seems like your boyfriend wants to comfort your friend to BUT comparing you and your friend in front of everyone like that is RUDE. Comparing means this person will be better than the other person in this way or another way. What points he was trying to make? Making you feel ashamed of yourself or making your friend to be even more shamed of herself? It does not make sense to me.
    No, you were not overacting. But you need to make it straight to him to not hurt your feeling in public like that again bc its ridiculous. The fact is that you felt something wrong when he did that to you too many times too.
    If he does not change the way he treats you, next time you should compare him with a guy friend in front of everyone to make him understand how you feel.

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What Guys Said 19

  • That happens, a bit extreme, but he was comforting her as well.

    he hit on your "security" violation... like does he really desire me or this other woman. you'll have to talk to him. Generally speaking, guys shouldn't do that, but I can see why he might of... either being nice, or he really is interested in her. who knows... he's a guy and he's visual. question is who is he committed to and more attracted to?

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  • This was so disrespectful... really, even if he wanted to help your friend, there's a lot of ways to do it, and this was not even by far a good and respectful one!

    And to get worse, he compares you with your friend... really? You're definitely not overreacting!

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  • it is normal some times yeah. i mean if i had a girl freind i would respond in the way my giurl friend was acting and would try and be supportive because her friends are your friends right?

    he did anything a guy would do if one of your friends was not feeling good about themselves just make sure it dos not go beyond that. and make sure he knows what the boundaries are because if he doesn't he might mess up not knowing what your boundaries are for your girl friends.

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  • it happens... and i believe he meant it as a compliment. seemed like she needed an esteem boost anyway... could've be lying through his teeth for all you know.

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  • Its ok to compliment other girls with you there but only under certain unique situations. In this case its clearly not worth giving a compliment at the expense of your girlfriend feeling bad about it. Also I think he sort of threw you under the bus. He doesn't have to ask for your weight

    Not a very bright moment for your boyfriend here

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    • Thank you for saying this, truth is I talked to him about it and he was feeling like super guilty and had a sad face on, told me he was just comforting her, so I told him that I forgive him :/ having a strong personality sometimes backfires, he didn't have to make me feel small for her to feel good about herself -_-

  • It would be worse if he didn't say it in front of you to be honest. He was probably only trying to help. It's a bit odd really, but obviously he didn't see it being a problem so had no bad intentions.

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    • Saying that in front of my girlfriends felt kind of disrespectful, wonder how would he feel if I was complimenting a 6ft tall guy about his height then comparing them :/

    • I agree, it's misjudged, but I think if he really meant offence, he wouldn't have done it in front of you.

  • Probably trying to be helpful, but stuck his foot in his mouth by reckless talking.

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    • That's what I think too but it's such a turn off you know?

    • Yeah, I know. I've stuck my foot in my mouth plenty of times and my wife looks at me like I'm a dolt. lol.

  • Well what he did is okie I mean he did it to like compliment her nit with a bad intention

    Buttttt I would never do that , that's a bad manner and that's insult but that's just the way I was raised

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  • This could just mean that he has a LOT of trust in you :)

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  • It's OK for your boyfriend to compliment other women.

    But it wasn't OK the way he did it. 😐

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  • You're not overreacting, cut him off asap.

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  • Yeah and deal with it.

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  • It's not normal I guess. But if he's been doing that often, maybe he's just flirty but still watch out,

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  • No matter what some people say, its rude, period, i'd be very mad and hurt if it happened to me... i feel sorry for you.

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    • Oh honey don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for him he's on shaky ground loool

  • If she is hot, why not?

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  • go cry in the shower nobody will hear you.

    yes it is normal.

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  • he should suffer 😈

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  • Yes you are overreacting...

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  • i think you two will break up soon
    let me know if im right

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What Girls Said 16

  • He was Considerate on one Big End with your 'Overweight" Friend, By trying to Make her feel Better about Her... Being overweight.
    I commend him, Although He may have Gone too Fat Far with bring 'My weight' Into it. This was probably for Show and Tell and Trying to be a Hero of a Helium Balloon.
    However, On the Other Under hand, He is Disrespectful with his Bag of Wind with 'Compliments other girls.'
    From now on, Tell Joe Blow to Put a Plug in it, You don't care to Hear His... Phony Baloney.
    No, Not 'Over Reacting,' Just Stop being His Enabler to Continue the Hog Wash.
    Good luck. xx
    Good luck. xx

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  • I think he went a little too far in the compliment section, it's quite rude if you ask me, and if he was saying this to her and then kind of snubbing you to the side. It's great you have good self esteem but he just went over board, it can be a turn off.

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  • He probably didn't mean to be offensive to you or upset you at all, he probably just meant to be reassuring to the other girl. He was inappropriate and should probably think before he speaks but I doubt he meant any harm.

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    • That's exactly what he said :/

  • no i do not think its ok unless he explains to you that he was trying to be helpful after. one of my boyfriend‘s coworker is really flirty around his wife too. he would flirt with me compliments me even in front of my boyfriend. its really awkard. his wife normally doesn't say anything but i can't tell from the look on her face it upsets her. one time we had a house party and she got drunk and cried and told me how she wished her husband would notice her more. so i think that kind of behavior is harmful to relationships. you need to talk to him.

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  • I would be pissed as well, but I think he was trying to give your friend confidence, but didn't bring it in the right way. Some people are not very subtle with these things. Maybe you could say to him you didn't felt very comfortable with him saying it, but it might trigger an argument. Better is to just forget it, but if you can't, bring it in a very subtle way to him.

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  • that's too much! and no you weren't overreacting i would leave him if i was you

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  • It's not normal. I'm sure if you told another guy he was hot, and your boyfriend heard and actually cared for you... he would be pissed.

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  • He was being nice, he'll I saw guys are hot all of the time in front of my boyfriend, and he says chicks are hot too. We don't care that we think that someone is attractive, it's not like we're gonna cheat with every single one or at all. Deal with it

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  • You're not over reacting... I'd be pissed as well.. and probably would lose interest in him...

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  • Not ok in any way shape or form!! Who are these guys saying you're overreacting and need to chill out? Those are guys that obviously have the same mentality as your boyfriend. It is disrespectful, insensitive and downright hurtful. And then he criticized you after the fact? Uh, see ya later dude. He's a douche

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  • That fact he he included your weight in it, he crossed a line. Tell him how you feel.

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  • You are not overreacting at all
    The people who tell you that you are overreacting are just freaking stupid asses. Im not saying you should break up with him but thats disrespectful and you should talk to him about it and see what he meant... smh

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  • Very normal. You can mention that a guy is super hot to his friend infornt of him hahhaha OR to tease him more, agree on what he said and mention why is she super hot in your opinion! OMG guys go crazy for this one! Try it :)

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  • THAT IS NOT OK. HOW RUDE!

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  • Your boyfriend is an ass. Time for the dump-zone!

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  • It sucks that he said it in front of you, but it's better that he's open about it rather than denying her attractiveness to you and then secretly thinking about her when he's alone. You know? Try to make a joke of it if you can, or at least put the moves on him and remind him that you're just as attractive!

    The bottom line is that he's with you, not her. Maybe he likes that you're not too perfect.

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    • I think Im hotter and Im perfect :p

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