Starting to give up on women?

Been told on the regular I am handsome, nice, can hold conversations, and even a gentlemen, but I always still get cheated on or played. Yes I know I should suck it up and move on, but this happend to me 5 times in a row, it lowers your self esteem, and I just gave up on women for a while. I don't want to become an asshole, because that isn't my character, but I am frustrated all the bad boys get all the women. What can I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If this happened to you 5 times in a row, have you considered the possibility that the women you choose to pursue are complete garbage and you should look somewhere different from your usual places of finding romantic interests?

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    • You know what I never thought of that. It's usually never me that does anything wrong, and if it was me I admit I am wrong.

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    • I see. Sounds like great ideas. Thanks for your opinion it is strongly appreciated.

    • No problem and good luck. 👍

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're being selective about your memory... You're pretending only bad boys get the girl so that your ego can feel justified in feeling angry, plus there's a certain inner payoff when we see ourselves as victims. I don't blame you, because I've felt that same way when I was cheated on...

    But you're ignoring the fact that you managed to get those 5 girls all by yourself, all before some bad boy decided to have sloppy gross seconds.

    The reality is that you're choosing women who are easily seduced by badboys... the same women who apparently don't have a problem cheating on you.

    So the common denominator seems to be the type of women you're choosing to be with.

    If you're patient and willing to risk being introspective (the risk being your ego might take a few hits) you'll see there were clear red flags that you ignored, and there were commonalities in the women you've been choosing to date.

    Attraction isn't a choice, you'll always fall for the super hot dirty girls, we all do. But you need to be more selective, put sex off longer, and dig deeper until you find a woman with more self esteem and who shares your moral structure.

    In the meantime feel free to have one-night-stands with the typical girls you chase, if you need to get laid and have fun. But be honest about it with the women you're hooking up with. Guilt free fun is okay while you search for Mrs. Right.

    Be patient, the good ones are out there and just as traumatized by assholes as you are.

    ~ Robby

    (My blog http://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )

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What Girls Said 7

  • yes I have (: lol

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  • You find a woman who *ADORES* sweet men. We exist but men like you are hard to find. J/s

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    • How can I find a woman that adores sweet men? Almost every woman I come across acts nice, then becomes an asshole afterwards 😐.

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    • Yes you are. 😉

  • Take a break, and start meeting women again when you're ready to. Keep your mind on something else for a while. Don't worry. It'll all work out.
    Also, not all girls like bad guys. It's all just preference. It depends on the girl. I like guys who are gentlemen. Maybe you're meeting the wrong girls.

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  • I kinda feel the same way about guys.. Nothing really to do but take things slow and get to try to know them better.

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    • I even tried that, and they wouldn't respond hardly, or just be an asshole. I don't get it.

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    • True. It's just I put trust into people easily, and I get taken advantage of, and I hate that. It's probably why women been cheating on me. I'll figure it out someday.

    • I feel you. I got cheated on by someone I loved and cared about A LOT. It may not really be you, just the girls you choose.

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  • ooooh I feel You !

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  • Maybe focus on another subject for a while. Take a break from dating and build up ur self esteem

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    • Message me :)

    • I have. It doesn't help that I am still a virgin, but I am not trying to waste it on a hoe, or a bad woman you know what I mean? It's hard.

What Guys Said 8

  • You don't have to be an asshole to give up on women. Just ignore them. If any of them insist, just tell them, look lady I've already given up faith and hope in finding a woman to have a relationship with and really don't care any more. Don't date, don't ask any one out. 5 times, that's a lot, you want a 6th, 7th or 8th time?

    Let those bad boys have their fun, hope all they fuck up at some point and knock up some lady or catch some horrible disease like AIDS or Herpes and then in the end who would be having a good laugh about it? Right, you. The joke's gonna be on them. Look on the bright side, you saved all the money you would have to spend on expensive restaurants for dinner dates, gifts, etc. and imagine if you had and then still get fucked over and they decide to dump you. Or maybe you already had done some if not all of that in the previous 5 relationships. Well you get what I mean.

    Save your money, time, and effort and just find something you really want to do, really like to do and can enjoy regardless or not if you have someone of the opposite gender providing you company for it. Like a hobby, past time, or simply just travel and have an adventure of your own.

    Otherwise, spend the money at the strip clubs, hire an escort that offers the whole package, such as a "girlfriend experience". If sex is your end goal at all costs, well there's your possible alternative to consider as an option on the table.

    Or better yet, just save your money and efforts toward something else that would be much more important, such as being able to stay alive as long as possible and retire comfortably.

    Forget what anyone else ever said about quitting.

    If you really want to fucking quit, then quit. Again, spend your time, money and effort elsewhere on something you can actually get something out of and accomplish or achieve something out of and bring you some kind of fulfillment or satisfaction, INSTEAD of someone or something that you won't or can't get any real fulfillment or satisfaction out of.

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  • i think rather than giving up you should start reflecting on the women you've been with. you should be able to recognize some things perhaps similar traits or behaviors from those women that may help you in the future. in terms of choosing a partner or recognizing when things are going in a bad direction

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    • That's my problem. Even if it is a bad direction, I still be there for them. Maybe I should change that?

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    • yeah girls kind of like a take charge guy. some like it a lot, some like it to a certain extent. some don't like it at all

    • Hard to tell what women like these days. Guess I'll just have to focus more on myself, and let them come to me. Who knows.

  • Swear the only reason why girls like bad boys is it makes them feel innocent and sweet. And when they finally get sick of him being a prick; the crazy head games start. They screw him over and won't feel that bad about it because he is a prick. Plus bad guys lie through their teeth. So don't fell bad about it. Learn to be emotionally intelligent and when the next one comes around you wil be ready. And go not contact with your ex s and set clear boundaries ( block and delete them off of Facebook your number and everything) cause if you meet someone new and your still talking to your ex s it shows that you still care about them. B
    Them cheeting shows how stong you are and how weak they are. Cheers man and another thing if they went behind your back and you don't know who the guys wrre. It shows that they are weak men if you're going to courtship a woman who's already with somebody else you do it in front of them like a man. And never talk shit about your ex s if a girl ask say you did not want to get involved in a love triangle. Plus your worth something (if I meet a good looking girl who doesn't cheat I would be a happy man) plus it usually doent happen overnight. Cheeting women have to find something wrong with you to make them self feel good for how badly they are treating you.

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  • Whooa! Damn.. I think you need some time off abd recollect man. Also i think you are attracting/being attracted to a same type of women. When you get back, switch it up a bit.

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    • What should I switch up? I have a good heart, dress nice, good hygiene, but maybe your right I am attracting the wrong type of women. Not sure how I am though.

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    • Yeah that's my problem. I have been a doormat for them, only because I hate dealing with drama. I have heard a lot say I need to change, but it isn't being true to myself is it? I don't know I have a lot to learn...

    • That is one thing that actually you can change. beeing a doormat isn't your nature its just a social conditioning for some people , how they deal with situations and other people. Yes you might ignore some drama like that but you can't entirely about it. You need to put your foot down , confront people and END their drama. It will take some time but you will get used to it. And you will see people will respect you a bit more. Its sad but the truth is that a lot of people will walk over you when you dont put boundaries. I've found this is especially true with a lot of women. You need to do this. At first you will get some hate ( for changing, dont minding thats just people trying to hold you down, but after that people will start respecfing you more)

  • What kind of girls are you going after?

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  • just do what i do man dont like dont give a shit about NEEDING to get women i dont and im very happy, no pooint trying to impress people if you are not loving and impressed by yourself :)

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    • The thing is I am very confident about myself, it's just the negative keep happening all the time, and it takes a toll after a while. I will definitely continue to work on myself, just isn't easy with this happening.

  • Take the redpill and then find something better to do with your time.

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  • I just got dumped for being a sweet, caring guy (her words). I'm done with women.

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    • Don't be! The second you think every girl is the same there will appear a girl that is not like that and then you treat her bad and you will lose a good woman.

    • @Animationed I won't even talk to her.

    • God no! F that girl. Im just telling that don't let the idea that all women are the same get to your head, not everyone wants an asshole who doesn't care about anything. Continue to be yourself, it really sucks to see a good guy turn to iceman because a stupid girl broke his heart.

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