How do I help my depressed boyfriend?

My boyfriend of several years expressed to me some time ago that he feels depressed. These waves of depression weigh heavily on our relationship. I love him very much and want to see him happy. However, I constantly feel as though I'm not enough and can never do enough for him. Any men out there with depression that have some good advice, or women in similar situations with helpful tips?

I also suffer from depression and anxiety which most people think makes it easier because I "know how he feels" but to be honest that makes it twice as hard. Trying to keep myself and him happy feels like trying to make a rock float.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't do anything but encourage him to get treatment

    • I have tried. He doesn't want to talk to anyone. He doesn't think that will help him.

    • ultimatum time.

    • Meds do help but since he's unwilling then there's nothing that can be done so you have a decision

Most Helpful Girl

  • If your boyfriend decides to open up to you about what he is experiencing, know that this takes courage. Strive to help him open up by letting him know that he is safe to share his feelings with you.

    If he talks to you, listen attentively, making sure to nod or respond reassuringly. Afterwards, summarize what he said and repeat it back to him to show you were listening. For example, you might say:

    ''It sounds like you have been feeling really agitated and can’t get yourself out of this state. Thank you for sharing that with me. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but I will do whatever I can to help you.''

    Wishing you the best of luck.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's simple learn to give him a perfect blowjob..
    Whenever his stress is too much you can suck it out..


What Girls Said 3

  • He thinks he can handle it. Some days/weeks/months he might feel "normal" and think he has it under control. It's not, because it will come back and he won't realize how it's effecting him.

    It might be that this cycle has been going on for so long, that he thinks it's normal. It's not.

    Without seeing someone, it'll never go away. It will keep coming back.

    • He knows that as well. But he doesn't think "talking about his feelings" will make it stop. I tried to explain to him that it probably won't ever stop but that talking to someone might help him understand why he feels the way he does and also help him control it better

    • YES. You've got it right!

      If it doesn't help him understand, the person (therapist or psychiatrist) will. They can, if need be, give him medicine that will help.

      Or talk to him and they will point out things to him that may be causing or worsening it. Sometimes it's lack of fulfillment in their life, lack of friends, etc.

  • You both need to get into treatment if you're not already.

  • Is he taking medicine or going to therapy? If not, you should defenitly talk him into it. Always remind him how much you love him and that he is worthy, and that you're always there for him.