I need to learn how to show affection?

So I've been dating this guy and we really like each other, but recently he said that he felt that it was being forced. When I asked him about it he said that he that he wasn't sure how I felt or even if like him because of the fact that I can't show emotion. He told me that if this was to continue I have to be able to show him how I feel. I really like him and I really want to show him emotions, but I can't. Any tips on how to change that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi! I was once in the same place your bae is right now, so I'll risk to tell you how he feels, what is expected and what's your own position. In my case I express myself through physical touch and my bae is more reserved, which were very frustrating to me.

    As you didn't gave much details about what exactly is "can't show emotion", let's take as an example the lack of physical touch.

    HOW HE FEELS

    He probably feels like you're not interested or don't love him as much as he does and even you may be with him just for convenience. And I believe neither is the case.

    I already felt like this before and I can tell you it's a horrible feeling, it's not just annoying but sometimes it's overwhelming when you know how much you love the person just because you're not talking the same language, the physical expression.

    WHAT IS EXPECTED

    He probably expects a lot of physical reaffirmation because he must be very touchy or even insecure. In this case it's really very strange to feel low physical contact and many times it may feels like there's almost none at all. He want hugs and kisses almost the whole time, but this is just because he was used in this way, it doesn't mean you are heartless or something like this.

    Balance is very important and I it's a natural part of being in love, this is the very nature of any relationship. So he can expect less physical touch from you but more through another way, and you too.

    YOUR OWN POSITION

    You probably feels very awkward some times for not been able to show your emotions the way he expect from you and this may even be frustrating. If you really love him I'm sure you have your own way to express this. If not, you should start from the root of why you're with him in first place, being very honest with yourself.

    Since I don't know you I don't have how to say if you have a difficult indeed or if this is who you are. But I can tell you that, no matter what's your case, you certainly have your own way to express your feelings because everybody do.

    LAST WORDS

    You know, I recommend you both to read "The 5 Love Languages" from Gary Chapman, so you will understand how to deal with each type of contact because maybe he's more physically affectionate (he probably was raised since child in a very physical affectionate family) and maybe you are more devoted in other ways. Both are two of the five love languages, and the interesting is that in this book you learn how to healthy deal with the differences.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you feel. emotion. I mean of course you do but are you aware of it? If so start small. any time you feel. something do something. Little things till you getvcomfortsble. Train yourself to act when you feel. We naturally he will feel cared for bc help see it.

    It's not unfair for him to tell what he needs. It's actually mature. But in the same token he has to agree to be patient. Bc it doesn't come easy to you as it does to him. So it is u fair for him judge your effort by his standards. You are the reference point for your own Capabilities. Help. see your effort relative to where you were.

    Also he should not assume everyone has the same way of expressing themselves. Showing you care doesn't mean showing your feelings it can mean many things. You might show it through loyalty or acts of k d less or. Ring honest and supportive. Anyhow he may have a specific need for a specific kind of affection. You may be able to deliver you may not. But he should 've willing to tell you exacrly what it is he wants. I

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What Guys Said 2

  • tell him how you feel. show him you're excited to see him or excited to do things with him. give him a hug or a peck on the cheek more frequently

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  • You're just incapable. You don't learn it.

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What Girls Said 0

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