Is it a bad idea to stop dating for a while?

I don't want to get married until I'm 30 and I decided to stop dating for a couple of years so I don't get distracted. Also, after some pretty bad experiences, I'm over the dating scene. My family and friends don't think this is a good idea because I'll be "closing myself off to oppprtunities." I didn't think of it that way but instead a good way to avoid immature dating as well making sure I focus on school, work and getting my own thing established.

Updates:
Darn I have a typo in the title. I meant DATING.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't let others dictate the way you live your life. If your dead set on this being your path, then go for it. You will find sometimes you find what you want when you stop looking for it. When I was 20 I was set to go into the USAF. I told myself I would not date anyone and I wanted to go into it free and clear. 1 month before going in my recruiter took 4 of us to Wright Patterson AFB, in Ohio to a museum. It was a 4 hr drive from my home in MI. I ended up spending the entire day talking to one of the girls that came. I went back and forth with myself half the day if I should ask her out or not. I did. We saw each other every day but 1 until I went into the Air Force on Feb 14, 1989. I came home on may 27 and proposed to her during a 3 day weekend. We were together 25 years and have 3 amazing boys together. Unfortunately, she threw her family away when we were finally getting to a place it could just be us again. But I wouldn't change what I did for anything.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that is a very mature thing for you to do.
    In my opinion, you do not have to date to get married! You will have just as must opportunity to meet someone.
    My personal standard for relationships are to form friendships with guys first. Get to know them! See their true colors. Observe their character. Then, a very special friendship could advance to potentially getting married. Meanwhile, it is smart to guard your heart so that you do not have to go through heartbreak if things dont work out. You should meet lots of people, and discover their character.

    In other words, dont pick the apple until it is ripe. :)

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What Guys Said 15

  • Well I say, forget about what your friends and family think. What really matters is what you really want to do and what you feel is right for you. If dating just isn't your very first priority now, then make it clear to them, and respectfully request that they try and understand what your important goals in life are right now.

    Sometimes, you will just have to do what you must do and do the best that you could and even if that meant "closing yourself off to opportunities" as you can't always have everything in every possible way that you want.

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  • The only time stepping away from that is a good idea is when you're solely focused on something as or more important than your love life.
    Like growing a business. Being a good parent if you have kids. School if you're a student. Or if you've made alooot of bad decisions in dating and want to stop to reflect so you can learn from your mistakes.

    During that time you should still go out and have fun. Just stop "looking" for more with guys. Just have fun and appreciate people for who they are. Be yourself and let your hair down a bit. Simply doing that will draw the right people into your life.

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  • If you're dating someone that requires you to be distracted from life , you and him are probably on different life paths ain't it?
    Pick someone who enjoys similar things as you do so when it's time for some R&R , he's up for the samies and soloies turns into a double-double. When R&R time is over , both of you can go back to self-improvement and presto you got yourself a winner. Sounds like a slice of fried gold?

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  • It's ok to not date for a while when you're 21, but don't cose your eyes to opportunities. Just be picky for a while: don't go on dates with people you barely know, don't pursue anyone, but when you feel you're growing a genuinely special bond with someone who shares your interests and ideas you should go on a date with that person.

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  • Nah I stopped dating for a while. We need to learn to be happy with ourselves before we are happy with someone else.

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  • Do it! I did it and then I found someone great! 😊

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  • Sounds like a great idea if you really wanna do it.

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  • if a women wants to get married waiting till she's older is the dumbest think she can do. a womens value is highest between 17-23. thats when she has the option of selecting her highest quality mate.

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    • Truth. It is all about sexual market value.
      If a woman is single at 30, she has a problem.
      If she is still single at 35, she should begin to take in rescue cats.

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    • What makes you so confident? I've dated an older guy before and he was the same as a younger guy.

    • confident. maybe its the confidence.

  • I think its a good idea. Im in something like that , actually

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  • It makes a lot of sense to me. Lots of guys do exactly that, because it's the only way to get through school and into the working world quickly. You could also take summer courses to finish earlier.

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  • You do what's best for you. Fuck what anyone else says or thinks.

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  • Maybe but never stop fucking

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  • what are your beliefs hun?

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    • What do you mean?

    • but instead a good way to avoid immature dating
      thats what you said so I would like too know what is your belief?

  • Yes. Terrible logic.

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  • you just do you brotha, or if you're a girl then sista

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What Girls Said 29

  • I Respect your Mature Outlook, @LoloWaye, and we All need a Break from Something in life that sometimes becomes Sour ball Spice.
    Take your time and after a while the tongues will quit Lashing and Thrashing, for they would have Respected you for the Right Decision... Especially Some day when you bring Someone Special home for Sunday Dinner who is a sure Winner.
    For now, carry on and just be Friends with Moe and Joe.
    Good luck. xx

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  • for me, i think it's the best decision i've made. it's helping me understand myself better, flaws and all. i reckon i'll be ready to get back in there maybe by this summer or next year, we'll see how we go, but yeah, single life has been good.

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  • I don't see an issue just taking a break from it all. It can be an emotional experience on oneself and the time to heal and feel better about things is understandable.

    I just wouldn't think it's a good idea to put yourself forward when you don't want to do it, so you taking a break from it all is a great idea.

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  • There isn't a law that says you have to date. You don't want to date right now that's fine. It's your decision. if anyone has an issue with it they aren't worth your time. Just do you girl!

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  • No, not really.

    Dating doesn't always bring that much happiness. I will recommend you to respect your pace. Sounds like you're in the all/nothing thinking phase. Set a boundary that both services the relationship and also yourself. If that proves untenable, make a decision at that point.

    Wishing you the best of luck.

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  • No, I don't think it is. If I had kids I would probably recommend they get themselves through school and things first... because for me, it interfered massively when I got my heart broken at your age, and I'm not where I wish I was because of it.

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  • Yeah its your life!

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  • Dating isn't exActly an essential. It's not like for or water. Many people don't date at all. I dint think it's a problem. I think it's good to spend time in your own. Your families approach is neurotic in my opinion. :)

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  • I had some bad break ups and took 3 years out of dating (one relationship was 10 and a half years) before I started again. Taking the time to find out what makes YOU tick and who you are without a guy is never wasted.

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  • I think it's dramatic to completely cut yourself off to the possibility. You could end up regretting it as love doesn't just happen when you decide you are ready. It could take you years to find someone by the time you do decide you are ready. You can still focus on yourself and have a partner or date someone. I'm very much focused on my career but that doesn't really make it impossible to enjoy a happy relationship.

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    • I see nothing wrong with what she is doing, she has been hurt, it makes sense that she I guards her heart and relax and take a step back from the situation. Who wants to get hurt over and over again?

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    • I have definitely opened myself up to the opportunity of dating but it does not guarantee that a person will get into a relationship, If that was the case then I would be in a relationship right now

    • @ikissedtheskyonce It does significantly increase your chances though.

  • Nope, it'll always be good for your mental health if you feel dating is stressful, unnecedssary etc.

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  • I'd say don't be completely closed off to dating. Just don't pursue anything unless you find someone you really like. Basically: don't look for a relationship, but if it finds you then I'd say go for it.

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  • You can take some breaks and start again.

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  • It's not bad. I won't be dating for a while because my last relationship was pretty bad and I need to work on my self confidence more.

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  • Well I don't think you should give up, however I do agree that it shouldn't be your main priority right now, it'll happen when it happens but don't put yourself off limits.

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  • not at all. i think its pretty important for every person to go through a period where they are single to figure themselves out

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  • Whatever makes you happy

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  • I think if you tell people you're not dating, you'll easily scoop out anyone immature. Because immature people don't chase people that want to get their life rolling, only adults do. So maybe you'll find a nice guy through non dating! Haha

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  • Never listen to ''men'' who put an expiry date on a woman. We are not products born to please douchy men. Do whatever you want. Take a little break and then start dating again :)

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  • It's not a bad idea

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  • No it's not a bad idea.. do what you think is best for you and makes u happy

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  • Hell no that's a fucking awesome idea and everyone should do it at least once haha

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  • I think you're actually making a good decision. Why date when you have better things to do?

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  • i hear what you mean here but you family is right... you might be closing yourself from oppotunities

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  • I think you're saying that now because you have no prospects. But you'll change your mind when someone comes along you're interested in or is interested in you

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  • no it's not a bad bad bad idea think of it as you are take break plus you can help yourself with reading books about dating , men etc
    try to be open to others things so you can heal yourself by yourself
    words from others sometimes doesn't help fully but it has to be from your own self
    in the end you will find your way

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  • If I were you, I would not actively seek out a relationship, but I wouldn't turn one down either. If something presents itself, give it a shot.

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  • i think it's a great idea!

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  • I think it's perfectly fine. 21 is still very young.

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