I don't want to get married until I'm 30 and I decided to stop dating for a couple of years so I don't get distracted. Also, after some pretty bad experiences, I'm over the dating scene. My family and friends don't think this is a good idea because I'll be "closing myself off to oppprtunities." I didn't think of it that way but instead a good way to avoid immature dating as well making sure I focus on school, work and getting my own thing established.
Don't let others dictate the way you live your life. If your dead set on this being your path, then go for it. You will find sometimes you find what you want when you stop looking for it. When I was 20 I was set to go into the USAF. I told myself I would not date anyone and I wanted to go into it free and clear. 1 month before going in my recruiter took 4 of us to Wright Patterson AFB, in Ohio to a museum. It was a 4 hr drive from my home in MI. I ended up spending the entire day talking to one of the girls that came. I went back and forth with myself half the day if I should ask her out or not. I did. We saw each other every day but 1 until I went into the Air Force on Feb 14, 1989. I came home on may 27 and proposed to her during a 3 day weekend. We were together 25 years and have 3 amazing boys together. Unfortunately, she threw her family away when we were finally getting to a place it could just be us again. But I wouldn't change what I did for anything.
I think that is a very mature thing for you to do. In my opinion, you do not have to date to get married! You will have just as must opportunity to meet someone. My personal standard for relationships are to form friendships with guys first. Get to know them! See their true colors. Observe their character. Then, a very special friendship could advance to potentially getting married. Meanwhile, it is smart to guard your heart so that you do not have to go through heartbreak if things dont work out. You should meet lots of people, and discover their character.
In other words, dont pick the apple until it is ripe. :)
Well I say, forget about what your friends and family think. What really matters is what you really want to do and what you feel is right for you. If dating just isn't your very first priority now, then make it clear to them, and respectfully request that they try and understand what your important goals in life are right now.
Sometimes, you will just have to do what you must do and do the best that you could and even if that meant "closing yourself off to opportunities" as you can't always have everything in every possible way that you want.
The only time stepping away from that is a good idea is when you're solely focused on something as or more important than your love life. Like growing a business. Being a good parent if you have kids. School if you're a student. Or if you've made alooot of bad decisions in dating and want to stop to reflect so you can learn from your mistakes.
During that time you should still go out and have fun. Just stop "looking" for more with guys. Just have fun and appreciate people for who they are. Be yourself and let your hair down a bit. Simply doing that will draw the right people into your life.
If you're dating someone that requires you to be distracted from life , you and him are probably on different life paths ain't it? Pick someone who enjoys similar things as you do so when it's time for some R&R , he's up for the samies and soloies turns into a double-double. When R&R time is over , both of you can go back to self-improvement and presto you got yourself a winner. Sounds like a slice of fried gold?
It's ok to not date for a while when you're 21, but don't cose your eyes to opportunities. Just be picky for a while: don't go on dates with people you barely know, don't pursue anyone, but when you feel you're growing a genuinely special bond with someone who shares your interests and ideas you should go on a date with that person.
I Respect your Mature Outlook, @LoloWaye, and we All need a Break from Something in life that sometimes becomes Sour ball Spice. Take your time and after a while the tongues will quit Lashing and Thrashing, for they would have Respected you for the Right Decision... Especially Some day when you bring Someone Special home for Sunday Dinner who is a sure Winner. For now, carry on and just be Friends with Moe and Joe. Good luck. xx
for me, i think it's the best decision i've made. it's helping me understand myself better, flaws and all. i reckon i'll be ready to get back in there maybe by this summer or next year, we'll see how we go, but yeah, single life has been good.
Dating doesn't always bring that much happiness. I will recommend you to respect your pace. Sounds like you're in the all/nothing thinking phase. Set a boundary that both services the relationship and also yourself. If that proves untenable, make a decision at that point.
No, I don't think it is. If I had kids I would probably recommend they get themselves through school and things first... because for me, it interfered massively when I got my heart broken at your age, and I'm not where I wish I was because of it.
Dating isn't exActly an essential. It's not like for or water. Many people don't date at all. I dint think it's a problem. I think it's good to spend time in your own. Your families approach is neurotic in my opinion. :)
I think it's dramatic to completely cut yourself off to the possibility. You could end up regretting it as love doesn't just happen when you decide you are ready. It could take you years to find someone by the time you do decide you are ready. You can still focus on yourself and have a partner or date someone. I'm very much focused on my career but that doesn't really make it impossible to enjoy a happy relationship.
I had some bad break ups and took 3 years out of dating (one relationship was 10 and a half years) before I started again. Taking the time to find out what makes YOU tick and who you are without a guy is never wasted.
I'd say don't be completely closed off to dating. Just don't pursue anything unless you find someone you really like. Basically: don't look for a relationship, but if it finds you then I'd say go for it.
I think if you tell people you're not dating, you'll easily scoop out anyone immature. Because immature people don't chase people that want to get their life rolling, only adults do. So maybe you'll find a nice guy through non dating! Haha
no it's not a bad bad bad idea think of it as you are take break plus you can help yourself with reading books about dating , men etc try to be open to others things so you can heal yourself by yourself words from others sometimes doesn't help fully but it has to be from your own self in the end you will find your way