How can I deal with rejection better?

Ok so I'm actually a cool guy in my opinion, but everytime I get turned down by a girl or something I begin to doubt myself and I feel bad about myself.

I know I shouldn't feel like this, because tings I'm not sone outcast weirdo, but it still stings you know?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no fill-proof way to deal with rejection. It sucks.

    But before you go there, understand that most average looking guys will only be successful 10% of the time. So understand it's a numbers game, and don't take it personally.

    Sometimes, the reason you're rejected doesn't have anything to do with you at all. She might just be insecure with herself and doesn't know how to go on a proper date or something.

    Don't take it personally.

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What Girls Said 9

  • The same way everyone else has to deal with it. Believe in yourself and continue to have a positive outlook on the situation, no matter if you get rejected and slated in the process. I've been there done that and got the T-shirt when a guy had been leading me on. He gave me a hug and then mocked me behind my back. He didn't inform me that hr was in a relationship when he was flirting with me. . . the bastard! So just pick yourself up, dust yourself off because there are aplenty more fish in the sea. Don't waste any time and effort with people that are out to piss you about. The fool proof way to avoid rejection, is to read her body language. Does she smile or stare at you a lot? Does she try to be near you? If you talk to her, does she laugh at your jokes even though they aren't really funny? If she does these things. She's probably into you. Do your homework on her first before diving in and asking her out. Remember, only fools rush in.

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  • This is the most normal feeling in the world, and trust me, you are not the only one!
    But I think the only way you can learn, is to put yourself in their position. It is really nothing personal because the girls you approach probably doesn't know you - so it is all about attraction.
    Girls get attracted by so many different things, and this has nothing to do with you; she just wasn't feeling it.
    Exactly this, is a feeling you've probably felt before about a girl; you're just not attracted.
    The only difference is, that girls don't approach guys as much as guys approach girls.
    If girls approached you as much as guys approach girls, you would experience the "not feeling it".
    It not you, it chemistry - can't be explained.

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  • I hate getting rejected because it brings up feelings that I don't like. And those feelings are insecurity and that I'm not good enough or smart enough or sexy enough for what ever. And it's all bull shit is in my mind. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I know every pockmarked fat pad. pigNose blackhead on me. And I hate asking guys to hang out because I hate them telling me no. The first thing that goes to my mind is, "yep, I saw my nose and I look like a fucking pig. I know it I knew it I knew. I have become a chicken tell a guy let's hang out. Now how you get over it? You realize eventually and I'm not there yet but you realize eventually that nobody's going to like everybody all the time. And not everybody is going to find you or me attractive. That does not make me a pig

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  • You're gonna feel bad sometimes, just keep reminding yourself that you're a gr8 catch and keep yourself busy. Focus on moving forward.

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  • Get more of it. That's the best way to realize it's not that big a deal.

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  • i know what you mean and i bet you are a cool person everyone hates to feel rejected but you have to remember that whoever rejcted you is the one is missing out on a great opportunity

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  • I don't really think there's necessarily a better way to deal with it. It bruises your ego for a bit then you move on. If you're dwelling on it for an unreasonable amount of time then it's an issue.

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  • Yes just look at yourself and look at them tell yourself your better and there just jealous of you
    Or tell yourself fuck those people

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  • Read the signs better to avoid rejection cause it will always hurt if you care.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Get a wingman or something. Get advice from friends that are already having successful relationships and ask and see if they can help you find a single lady that may be interested in going out and hanging out with you. It's never going to come easy. Do the best you can with what you got, it's all a learning process. Every time you ask somebody out, there will always be the possibility of rejection no matter what. It's best to not overthink about it and just relax. When you think about rejection a lot it will become difficult to project any confidence which is much needed in order to create an attraction by whomever you are trying to ask out on a date or get a phone number.

    Have someone observe what you did and then give feedback on where you had it right and on what you did wrong and give you clear feedback on what you must do to improve and then try again to do better. Being confident and not fearing rejection and knowing that you can take it and move on and try another girl with different methods and techniques. If you are always getting rejections no matter what it could be you are always applying the same methods and techniques and they aren't working, therefore you will have to change and improve what you can and try again, and better luck the next time around.

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  • Rejection is part of the process of mate selection.
    Everyone is going to reject people, because certain individuals do not tick the required boxes on the other party's criteria sheet. That is how it should be.
    When I was your age, it was not rejection that bothered me as much as when I saw the same girl later with a male who looked as though he was homeless and slept in a park, dragged his knuckles on the ground and did not have two IQ points to rub together. Or, a male who was exactly what one would expect an oily nightclub player to look like.
    This was before the Internet existed, so it took me a while to figure out the bad-boy fixation that most females have between the ages of about 15 to 30.
    Young women thrive on the rollercoaster ride of heartbreak and drama that comes from choosing the company of players and sociopaths. They use the words 'fun' and 'exciting' to describe such men.
    I cannot suggest anything more helpful than to take a different perspective of the rejection.
    That female just saved you time and money, by crossing herself off your prospect list.
    If, as most girls in your age range do, she prefers the company of players and sociopathic bad boys, then you just dodged a bullet.
    That will not fill the ache in your empty heart (believe me, I know what that feels like), nor will it give you the sexual release that you crave; but the alternative, which is to be involved with a woman who actually wants Mr Harley MacBadBoy, or Iva Necktattoo, is even worse.
    About the age of 30 I gave up on the whole project and walked away from having anything to do with women. I am not suggesting that you do that, I am just saying that was my response to almost two decades of being rejected in favour of obvious players and sociopaths.
    It is not possible to observe that sort of demonstrated group preference for years without forming an unflattering opinion of the female cognitive process.
    At your age, the passions are more intense, because your balls are pumping out a huge quantity of testosterone. This causes you to be blind to a lot of things about female nature. As you grow older, probably about age 30 to 35, you may well see things differently.
    It is at that point that more than a few men thank the imaginary sky friend of their choice for helping them to dodge a bullet, then they go their own way. It is at that point that most of the MGTOW are born.

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  • Hello my friend, here are some steps or advices :

    1. Don't take it personally : as in don't get your emotion involved. As a man, you can separate your feeling or at least cast it aside.
    2. Have fun with it. Treat it like a game. If you lose, simply restart and try it on the next girl.
    3. Do it often. The more often you do it, the more experience you get and you learn how to handle it better.
    4. Learn that everybody have different taste and preferences, just because they rejected you doesn't mean nobody want you. It just that you are not her type.
    5. Get a friend/wingman/wingwoman. If they are with you, you feel less pressure and awkwardness and can simply retreat to your buddy if thing went wrong.

    Good luck !

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  • 2 things.
    Sometimes its about trying to the truth why it hurts (for you specifically). Let's say that every guy in the world would get rejected much more often than you. Even to the point that guys ask you for advice not to get rejected so much. Would you feel better or worse? If you'd feel better than it is no the rejection but about about feeling inferior to other guys. Once you know that you can deal with it better.

    You could also try to get rejected. See if you can the most rejections in a day. Make a game out of it. A rejection would be a win for you and it won't hurt. Eventually you'll see that girls actually like that "i don't care" attitude (Unless you do/say some hurtful stuff) and not reject you.

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  • Don't get emotionally attached to girls you barely know and don't get emotionally attached if there are some bad signs early on.

    But... rejection by someone you really liked will always remain a possibility and I think it's normal to feel bad about yourself afterwards, even doubt yourself, as long as it doesn't last years (the pain may last long, but the self-doubting should go away sooner).

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    • There's a fine line between protecting yourself to not get hurt too often (it hurts too much) and opening your heart once in a while (without taking this risk you will never have love and then life would be very dull). So while you can minimze the chance of rejection you shouldn't strive to eliminate it completely.

  • I use to be like you. And still at age 24 yet to have my first kiss. And all my life I’ve been fearful of rejection. But now that i have experienced it a lot growing up. it’s not near as terrible as you would expect. The sun still shines, water still tastes good…realtionships is all well and good but life is enough no?

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  • Think of it as a respect for your time. A girl rejects you because she doesn't want you to waste your time with her. She's not the one for you, and it's better you don't waste any effort into a woman who won't appreciate you for who you are.

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  • Don't take it personally. .300 is a pretty good batting average yet it means failure 7/10 of the time.

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  • Just tell yourself it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

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  • Watch a howtobasic video on youtube.

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  • what a cool guy. how often do you get rejected, cool guy? i thought you was cool.

    to answer your question. man up, cool guy.

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  • Yeah I would recommend trying girls who aren't very picky and try less being yourself because maybe some girls don't like something about the way you act

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  • Just man up.

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  • by being rejected often, it will make you immune.

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  • take it from someone whos been rejected many times. it still hurts so i don't know if i can give very good advice here. i guess just know that lots of guys go through it and it probably sucks for them too

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  • Just don't think about it.

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  • ask most girls on this site, they get rejected

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  • Turn to food for comfort. Eat away the pain and masturbate them lonely nights away.

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  • So stop trying.

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  • I'm the same way if a girl rejects me I feel like Oma freak of nature

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  • People often say opposites attract. You may be aiming higher than you can reach and that is why you're constantly being shot down. Relationships always start with physical attraction no matter the scenario, and since everyone has a different idea of what attractive qualities make a person everyone will have a different view of other people. If you want to not feel bad, maybe stop trying to ask girls out. Thats how rejection starts, and how feelings are hurt. But if you want to ask girls out then you have to develop a thicker skin. The more you do it the less it will hurt eventually

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  • Before i start, girls this is just an analogy. I'm not objectifying or anything.

    Have you ever haggled over a shirt at a flea market? You say 5 bucks and the hawker tells you to beat it? That's what a rejection is, what you're offering is not on par with their standard YET. You could then ask the hawker how much and he'd say 15 bucks or something. You could choose to pay that or walk away.

    Now in relationship matters you can't ask the girl what is it she wants after she rejects you (sometimes she doesn't have a clue about it anyway). You have to come up with a better offer the next time around. Until then, walk away. Don't pester her or anything. Just accept that your offer is not good enough for her now, walk away, improve and hopefully another chance comes along. Or maybe a better girl comes along.

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  • By getting even much more rejection , it will make you feel numb of it , and thick-skinned

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  • This is what held me back for years.

    STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU

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