Dating almost the perfect girl, but she is sort of overweight, what should I do?

recently I've met this girl who is perfect in almost every way, she's beautiful, funny, sweet. I am a guy that works out and i think being healthy is important. The girl is sort of overweight (she is not obese, but she is not slim either (about 10kg overweight would be my guess)), she says that she works out to lose weight, i myself was overweight very long to and i know how difficult it is to get rid of it.. I am having some problems with some of the thoughts going through my mind, for example:

- Should i even try to change a girl like that, would that be fair?
- What if i continue dating and it doesn't change, i think eventually i would have to pull the plug out and it's not fair to put het through that

im having really double feelings, the girl could literally be the girl of my dreams, but you shouldn't have to change anyone for it..

p. s. Please don't hate, i am not trying to be a douchebag or offend anyone.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I never Point fingers here, dear...
    If you Find many Other qualities in her that Make up for her Weight, then Unconditional love comes into the Perfect Picture. Everything you have mentioned here, tells me her Personality Highlights the Real person she is Inside as well as Outside, even if she is 'Sort of overweight.
    Once you both might become these Partners, make some Team Effort to Encourage her to get right back on the Right Track again.
    I feel the Chance for Romance just might be Worth its own Weight in Gold.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Suggest working out together. Not only will it help motivate both of you but you'll be spending time together also. Go for walks together or bike rides, anything. When bringing up the topic to her make it about spending time together, not that she needs to loose weight.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Motivate her to work out. I recently met a guy who rejected me because I'm not fit, and it really sucks because I liked him so much and I started working out right after our first date. Not because of him but because of me, he motivated me a lot without even saying a word about it. Too bad he didn't stick around to see my progress, because in few months I'm gonna get fit as fuck and if he comes back I'm so gonna reject his sorry ass.

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    • Yes i've had the same thing happen to me before i worked out, when they see you in shape for the first time is priceless haha.

  • Workout with her I'm sure your smart enough to be persuasive. Guide her and show her how a healthy lifestyle can make her happy. If your willing to put the effort in and she really means something to you; take on the challenge of getting to know her and helping her become a healthy fit person.

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  • She is already trying to work on losing weight, you said so yourself, why are you trying to change her already? If her extra rolls make you feel fat then dont date her.

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  • Its not wrong. Its just self improvement in my eyes. You should care and it doesn't make u a douche.

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  • Workout with her so it's an avtivity for the both of you

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What Guys Said 1

  • Are you also going to dump her if she gets pregnant and gains weight from that?

    You're both going to gain weight eventually. No matter who you date, when you hit your 30's, most people start packing on pounds. I was 135-145 pounds from 18-25 years old and wore 28" pants. When I hit 30, it started to slowly pack on because I was working with no time to exercise. I got to 185 pounds and wear 34" pants, before I began to eat less, and now I'm at a steady 175. Still a lot bigger than I used to be.

    If 10kg is enough for you to think about dumping someone, you won't be happy with any woman when you get older.

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    • That's not true, both of my parents don't work out but aren't chubby or fat. You can still be in shape if you don't stuff yourself, wether you do or don't excercise.

    • We're not talking about becoming chubby/fat. We are talking about gaining weight.
      I'm certain your parents gained weight as they hit around 30+. That doesn't mean they're fat.

      By your own question, you are considering dumping her for having a few extra pounds above the ideal BMI. You don't say that she's fat.

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