Why did the guy I'm seeing tell me his friend's girlfriend was trying to set him up with her friend? It bothered me?

I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month. We are taking things slow, no titles, see where things go. Since day one he told me he is seeking a relationship but doesn't know if he is ready for one bc of being really hurt about a year ago, and now he is dealing with some trust issues. His long term girlfriend cheated on him when he moved over here to the US. I believe him, he is genuine. Soo.. We haven't discussed what we were exactly but we are seeing each other to see where things could go. We agreed on that.. But he made it clear we weren't exclusive or together together.

Then yesterday he was having a get together with his bro's and one of his friend's girlfriend wanted to bring a friend along for him, to set him up with. His friend told him and, the guy I am seeing told me that he told his friend that "he can't see anyone right now", and secondly it wasn't a good setting for that bc they were gonna watch some game and she's always talking during the game.

It set me off bc now I feel like that girlfriend of his friend is still going to want to set them up. He said she was almost angry that he declined her invite and that she would be angry with him next time he sees her.

One, he said we weren't exclusive so... Why "can't he"? And 2, why did he even tell me this? I am bothered by it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of idiots out there. Personally, once you say "yes" to "seeing" someone, you are automatically exclusive with them title or not. Why the fuck do people think it is ok to date or see someone else just because you haven't "Classified" your relationship with the first person you are seeing? So, if a girl walks up to me and says, "Hey, I want to go on a date with you, but in the mean-time I am still fucking some other guy, just so you know! Cool?" NO THAT IS NOT COOL!!! Who in their right mind would start to date someone if they are going to see you AND someone else at the same time? WTF is wrong with people!!!

    Anyway... I think this is about 80% to blame on his lame friends that aren't respecting his relationship or don't acknowledge it. Your relationship may be more casual with him than you think. Might be time to increase the significance of it.

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    • Thank YOU! Today so many guys I see think it's okay if they're taking me out to be taking out other chicks too, and I have asked questions on here before and everyone thinks I'm overreacting when I say that shouldn't be a thing. If you're seeing someone, especially when there is sex involved as well, it should only be with one other person.

      & I think so too. I thought we were casual but then if he told me he can't see her bc of me then I don't get what he is trying to do? Or maybe I am interpreting it wrongly? I don't get what he meant by "he can't"

  • he sounds insensitive

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    • or he told you that his friend's girlfriend tried to set him up, because he wanted to be open with you. But if he said you two weren't exclusive therefore he can't. I think this makes him ignorant and disrespectful to you and your relationship with him

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    • If he declined because he likes you then he told you because he respects your relationship with him, BUT if he told you that you guys are not exclusive so why can't he, than he is being disrespectful to your relationship

    • No a few weeks ago we agreed on not being exclusive or anything (yet) and since then we haven't spoken about it. We've just been in contact and seeing each other like normal. Then yesterday he told me that and just said he said no because "he can't" but he didn't like say it clearly or maybe I wasn't listening intently, I don't remember, but he said "for one you know I can't see her" or something so idk? I'm just really confused and bothered :(

What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like he lacks sensitivity. Why would he feel the need to mention that? Was he subtly asking your "permission" to see her? I don't understand.

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    • My first thought was that he was making a point that he wasn't seeing anyone else and if he doesn't want me to either now? Like my friend wanted me to but I said I can't, hint hint. But I don't know, I'm tired of games and stuff. I wish people would be honest bc I can't read minds and I'm tired of guessing

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