How the f*** do I win this guy over?

I've been talking to him at the gym for maybe 3 weeks (I only see him 3-4 days a week and speak to him maybe once or twice a week depending on if his busy or I'm busy working out). I finally got his facebook and he told me his rarely on it as he works throughout the whole day plus he studies and then afterwards he goes to the gym. We actually have a lot more in common than I thought, we both love travelling, we love what were doing (in regards to studies and work) and we both love the same type of music. However there have been several other girls that approach him and talk to him too and I'm starting to get paranoid, usually if I'm pursuing a guy and his talking to another girl I give up, but I don't want to this time!
In the past he has literally placed himself where I would walk past him and talk to him only because his too shy to approach me; yesterday he might of done the same because he never does cardio, only weights.

I just don't know how to compete for this guy when his never on facebook and he doesn't message at all; I only speak to him once or twice a week because we both want to work out, but I don't want to bug him at the gym either.

What do I do? I've never done this before! I'm prepared to fight though! :P


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Most Helpful Guy

  • why don't you just step outside your comfort zone for one time in your life and tell him you like him.

    you can talk about it all you want, and plan as much as you like... but nothing is going to happen unless you're pro active...

    waiting on the day he comes to the gym w/ a sign around his neck stating "YOU CAN ASK ME OUT NOW, I'LL SAY YES" is never going to happen.

    just do it

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    • Calm down lol I realise I need to be more proactive but I'm trying to not scare him away; imagine being in their shoes and you get told by a girl that she likes you. Most guys will brush it off or have no idea what to say. Your 36 so your different, this guy is 16.

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    • Yes. Most of my guy friends have told me that they like me and I just don't know how to go about it considering I never thought of extending the relationship. So I can imagine how it must be for him.

    • so you don't know first hand.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't give up. Do you feel like he's interested at all? If you do, be more flirty. It's the only way he'll know you like him more than a friend. And don't force things. It'll come naturally if he likes you too.

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    • Yeah I feel like he might be, his always smiling when I'm there talking with him and his had his friends sus me out at the gym before. I find it hard to flirt sometimes, I mean I have given him compliments before; I can tease but its only in the moment

    • It's always good to feel more in charge you know? If you work on yourself, you can be the one with the upper hand in the situation lol. Confidence is super important. You have no reason not to be, he likes you.

    • Haha yeah it is always good to feel in charge; I was actually going to ask him out on a date in a couple of weeks once we start talking and getting to know each other. His really nice but I'm trying to not get my hopes up if he pursues someone else :/

What Guys Said 5

  • then fight...

    All you need to do is act on your feelings. You dont even need facebook, you just need your words. All it takes for a girl (also depends on the guy) to get the guy to understand is just a couple of words. you can tell him 'i think you are cute', or ask him out for the first time for a coffee, sometimes all it needs is just the first move from the girl then the guy will take it on from there.

    Good luck

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    • Yeah don't worry! I'm planning on a date sometime soon but I need to know what he likes and doesn't. But I was considering a movie perhaps.. what genre he likes I have no idea! Just need a little bit more time; his very shy

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    • Yeah his really cute :P Haha I love shy guys! I'd prefer them over confident guys any day haha. I was just going to wing it; just tell him what were watching at a particular time and meet me there lol

    • lol interesting xD

  • The mind of women!

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  • You might have to be bold and ask him out. Maybe start out by asking him about workout tips.

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    • I was gonna ask him to train me one time haha :P

    • That's a good start. If he doesn't want to train you, maybe ask him to spot you.

  • Wow, I don't know, but you do sound creepy.

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    • How so? lol

    • This type of aggressiveness is definitely creepy for a guy or girl. Why risk yourself for someone that you don't even know? He probably doesn't even like you. If he found out that you would do that for him, he'd wonder about your intentions and why would you feel about him this way when you two aren't even partners in the first place. I once dated a girl like that, she turned out to be full of insecurities, psychological problems, and just a fat mess. It scares me to think that I had dated her and gives me the creeps something awful fierce.

    • I suppose your right in a way. I never really thought about it that way. But my whole life has usually been me giving away to other people or always sitting on the side-lines of life. If a girl is talking to a guy I had an interest in I would have given up immediately, I would of thought to myself "I have no chance now... this girl is better than me..." etc. In my personal opinion I think you should of at least helped her through her insecurities in regards to the relationship or herself. A lot of women now days have a lot of insecurities.. as a matter of fact everyone has some sort of insecurity whether they like to admit it or not. It's just finding the right people who will be there to accept the fact your not perfect that matters, and clearly your not the type of person who is willing to understand why anyone has insecurities.

  • just ask him out, tell him your feelings, he's not going to ask, its not rocket science ya know.

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    • It's easier said than done! :/

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    • That's the thing - I don't want him to be anxious or nervous! Then it would feel like I did scare him away somehow :( I don't know how to handle a guy if his anxious and nervous!

    • just be honest and say exactly how you feel, and show it, knowing a girls exact intentions puts a guy at ease a little.

What Girls Said 1

  • I've BEEN GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING! Gonna keep referring back to this question to see if I can get any tips too :)

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    • Hahaha Glad I'm not the only one! What's your situation? Maybe I could help possibly? :P

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